Thank you guys i will try it out but the solution i came up was to write a script the would:
1- Would use a PFlow for the positioning of the particles using as many objects u want ( so you could put grass, flowers , weeds , etc…) and distribute them according to a user defined probability system ( almost like set percentages ).
2- Then i could add a general sway to the grass using bend modifier and wave / noise controllers on the bend.
3- it could also follow the animated bend of another mesh ( the grass even tho were scattered along Pflow particles they are not inside the pflow system i just took the position of every particle and applies to the grass, flowers , weeds, etc using the probability system ). So you can animate a single mesh with Bend to look just like it would if it was been affected by Wind and the other grass will copy it and delay the animation according to the distance to the object.
Even tho the script is crash prof there is still things that need working right now the offset of the copied animation is based on distance which works pretty good but i want it to be the distance along a single axis not a world units distance. also the rotation controller is working but when adjusting single rotation on the objects it causes some skewing with the direction of the bend.
If you have any questions
send me a pm or something . This Script i wrote works prety good and can be used for other things it can also be adjusted to any other modifier that you would like. ( imagine u want to animate somthing squash and strech ) animate it with the strech modifier then copy it to other 100 obejects adn this will be offseted acording to distance. ( qhy would you do that ? i dont know but it is pretty cool
)