Treasure hunt short film - need crits


Bare with, just wanted to make sure everything was fully explained. This will be turned into a short animation, roughly 2-3mins long. W.I.P. Title: ‘ESCAPADE’

Explanatory Summary:
Basically the film is about tomb raiding, treasure hunting, Indiana Jones type theme. It’s set in a desert area, but the special item is in an underground cavern/lost city type area; not heavily like Atlantis but less architecture - Ancient Maya type. The main underground environment will be like it was built during ancient times…some wooden platforms, gold bridges, all list via gaps in the ceiling letting in rays of light. The outside where the entrance is is not some small cave opening, but the whole structure is like a huge pillar-like mountain - yes in the middle of nowhere. Before I forget to mention, the explorer is male, near half 10-15 from middle aged, rough exterior, old clothes. The environment will be border line stylized-artistic/realism (more realism for the area where the item being pursued will be…stylized for the environment [matte paintings, simple layered textures])

The Story:
The Explorer starts off in the desert, outside of the entrance to the underground cavern. He makes his way through the entrance in a dark tunnel, which leads him to 2 path ways. On the left side he sees some remains, on the right side it’s clear, so he takes the left side.
He follows some signs leading deeper into the cavern when he then ends up at the main gate which is hidden by a little riddle of buttons. Pressing the right button sequence would open the door and pressing the wrong buttons would release a booby trap.

He manages to press the right sequence after checking his notes and the door opens. Walking through he finds the main area, with a beautifully built bridge in front of him, with a few other bridges leading to different entrances. In the center which is suspend above what looks like a bottomless pit, is where the rare item is held.

He walks across the bridge carefully as it is old, reaches the center and just before he goes to take the item, another hand appears!
It appears there is another explorer who managed to reach the item. Both in a hurry reach forward but one accidentally steps on a booby trap. This trap is like a self-destruct mechanism that then leads to the whole place collapsing/breaking apart.

The main explorer grabs the item and they both run towards a bridge still in tact. With the place falling apart and the second explorer trailing behind, the bridge breaks off just before the entrance and the second explorer falls and hangs on to the edge. The main explorer looks towards him, then the object and back again. Making a tough decision he takes the item and leaves. The second explorer falls a little to a ledge and is trapped.

Getting up from the fall the second explorer sits in the dark. Suddenly a squarish boulder begins to slide to one side, behind it is the first/main explorer who managed to find a way out for him. The second guy gets up and they both walk out, splitting the item in two.

The end.


To main stream, you should have some kind of a fight for the item and then the bad guy wins, cause no one expects that.


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