Tourist Spacecruiser

#1

After several months of painting nothing at all, i’ve finally started a new painting, with which i’m trying to overcome a few bad habits (like leaving blurry edges, skewed perspective, etc.). I’ve been working on it for the past few days and decided to post it here in the hope of getting a few pointers about what areas need to be fixed or improved before i start repainting the hangar and adding details to the ship.

So, here’s what i’ve done so far:


Sketch


First paint-over


Cropped the image to get a better composition


Pushed up the image-resolution, repainted the ship and added people on the ground to show the size of the ship


Added some color and texture and repainted parts of the ship.

About the ship’s windows… at the moment they are just there to show where the passenger cabins are and will be repainted soon. (I know they don’t look too good at the moment…)

#2

Next update:


Changed the outside and fixed the hangar’s perspective.

#3

And another update:

 [[img]http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/3276/commerciallinerbigger.jpg[/img]](http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/196/commerciallinerbigger.jpg/)

Replaced the passenger ramp with an antigrav platform, added a few persons and changed the lights above the ship.

#4

To me, the way you chose to depict this narrative isn’t very interesting. If you really want to make this narrative come alive, you’ll need to make the tourists the main focus of this image.

Get the camera close to the tourists (as if the viewer is right there among them, and the camera’s point slightly up at the ship) and show them–different personalities like the old couple, the young newlyweds, the nerdy guy with a tourism guidebook and a high-tech camera…etc. Have the spaceship towering over them, and they are looking at the ship with a sense of awe.

Always remember, if you’re going to tell a story with an image, make sure the story itself is interesting, otherwise, it’s just another picture without much entertainment value.

#5

Thanks for your input.

To be honest, I hadn’t given any thought to the narrative of this piece, and now that you mention it I can certainly see your point… unfortunately changing the perspective would mean drawing a completly new picture and I’m not sure if I’m ready to dump this one.

But I guess it couldn’t hurt to make a few sketches for a new version… :slight_smile:

#6

" unfortunately changing the perspective would mean drawing a completly new picture and I’m not sure if I’m ready to dump this one. "

That’s something that you’ll have to get used to if you aim to do this sort of thing for a living ( as in, as a employee or freelance illustrator ). Much better to get used to it now than later. Just see it as a learning experience, and don’t pursue something that isn’t going anywhere or down the wrong road. Then, if and when you are earning money from this sort of work, any boss / client feedback won’t offend you and you’ll feel comfortable with “starting again”, if that’s what needs to be done.
I have lost count of the amount of times I have spent a few days or a week on something to either drop it when it doesn’t work or direction has changed…

You need to be less precious about your work. It’ll do you more good in the long run than not.

#7

Thanks for your post.
I know that being a professional artist means drawing lots of stuff just to have it scrapped… good thing I’m not planning to paint for a living ;-).
I don’t really mind starting a new painting, but there were some minor things that really bugged me in the old pic and I figured spending one or two hours more on it wouldn’t be a too massive waste of time… but now that I’ve got that out of the way I started making some sketches for a new version.

About lunatiques critique, I wasn’t offended by it… after all, I posted here because I wanted people to point out the flaws… though I have to admit I expected something more like advice on perspective errors, bad color/value choices… etc. because, until it was mentioned here, i didn’t think about conveying anything to the person looking at it. (I guess my thoughts went as far as “spaceship in a hangar… cool”):blush:

But anyway, just to make things complete… the final version:

And 2 sketches for the new version (will make more soon):

#8

much better layout.

#9

The new sketches are far more interesting than the original version.

Actually having something to say as a visual artist is one of the things that’s most overlooked by aspiring artists. It’s no mystery why we see so many technically competent works that have absolutely nothing to say at all–no narrative, no emotions, no statement, no compelling mood. It’s one of the most important lessons visual artists should learn, yet you don’t see it being taught much (that’s why I make an effort to teach students to develop and strengthen their creative vision in my workshop).

#10

more sketches…

#11

This will be great drawing, and i really like what ur doing.

On this picture i see people standing in lines (or in one long line), maybe under guards, maybe they are refuges… They could be dreesed all in same coats, and look sad. One of them could stare into camera, hidding something, maybe terrorist…
All in sad climate.

I think mixing '40s with future technology would be great for this.

What comes in my mind when I see this is Orwell’s “1984”

This one looks really great for me :slight_smile:

#12

It’s very important to know exactly what it is you want as a storyteller first and foremost. All visual artists, once trying to tell a story, become storytellers, and their art become the tool in which they tell stories with. It’s not the other way around, so never put the cart before the horse. Don’t doodle around trying to find a story–you need to know what story you want to tell.

So right now, you need to do some careful, creative thinking. What are you trying to convey and express?

Maybe this is a ironic story, where we can see the planet outside the hanger is desolate and used up because mankind has ravaged it by draining it of all resources, and the irony is that now people are happily going on space cruises when their own planet is ruined by greed and selfishness.

Or, this is just a happy tourist image, showing people being enthusiastic about visiting somewhere interesting–almost like a promotional poster for a space cruiser.

Or this could be a war-torn land, and these people are refugees trying to get away to somewhere safe.

There are all kinds of possibilities, so you need to be sure exactly what the story is you want to tell, and then cater the image to the story.

#13

Thanks for your comments. I finally had some spare time so I’ve reworked the second sketch, going for a warzone-evacuation scenario.

#14

I’d expect much more passengers regarding the ship size.

Obvious war in the BG could make the message clearer.

Soldiers stand usually the other way round at hasty evacuation scenarios, protecting the fleeing people - unless it’s a deportation, a completely different story. Also not very clear yet what’s happening at right with that woman - should be told on the picture or the drama simply left off (if that soldier is supposed to be her brother then i’d rather see a last embrace).

An other thing is the styling of the ship now. It’s Noah’s arc for those people, symbolising home and peace. It might look powerful, but it should look friendly imo, instead of looking more like an insect with those legs. I’d also raise the camera angle* - to show how small and vulnerable those people are - and the ship itself doesn’t need to impress like when standing on a pedestal - it’s about people and their destiny, and not about spaceship design.

Keep it up!

edit: * or getting really inbetween them, like when being part of those fleeing guys.

#15

Thanks for posting zokana. Here is a new sketch following your suggestion to lower the camera further and make the battle more present

(there is nothing like a burst of creativity at 3a.m.) :smiley:

#16

Yeah, creativity is going wild sometimes in the night - needing a critical view the next morning. But your nocturnal work has some very nice ideas which could get carried on.

I like especially the wavy crowd with a slight Munch-esque mood. Not sure about the arm, seemingly belonging to the viewer - almost a bit blatant imo.

The spaceship has to be fully recognisable as such - either more visible, or the design more clear (or both).

War action on the ground would be more logical in the BG - more then fleeing into a heavy air combat. I’d rather show the horror of war, instead of Star Wars glamour.

Generally i’d suggest to not jump too much from one idea to the other. There are several viewing angles in your list of drafts which could work fine when getting elaborated. Currently i have the feel that there’s still too much sci-fi enthusiasm behind the concept, which has been changed toward human tragedy, while the initial idea is still spooking around. The ramp for example isn’t truly ideal for such a take from inbetween the crowd, making it difficult to handle the background.

Keep it up!

#17

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