The environment is ok but I find hte tree too much realistic as the rest of your environment isn’t so. Also the depth of field a bit too strong.
Steampunk Myths and Legends Entry: Christoffer Andersen
doffer
#62
Hey Vincent 
Thanks a lot for your comment.
Yes, the tree is way more realistic than the rest (the house as well), as they are images.
I tried the opposite, just drawing in some fast trees but it didn’t work either, so I will have to find some golden middleway between very rough toony and realistic.
I’ll also turn down the DOF a bit
doffer
#63
Here is a update, containing a fairly big amount of new work.
I only need two shots left, and then some improvement through out the film (binding is not working properly and it could be a bit more fluid and vivid).
I have made a couple of notes myself.
Obviously a LOT of environment modeling left to do!
Let me know what you think.
ivanisavich
#64
Awww gross 
Haha…keep going man! My only critique is that it’s spelt “Icarus” not “Icaros”
Deje3D
#65
Very nice so far.
I like it a lot!
When he tries to start the machine and it slow getting startet, maybe the propel should be turning around. I think it would be cooler if it tried to turn around, but was not quit there jet.
Also, when he pushes the machine, because he likes flying, he dosnt look that happy. I think he should smile a lot more. He’s biggest dream is coming true
wasnt it suppose to be a wagon in the end? I think it fits the story better. Or maybe if the thing was made out of wood or something.
It could be nice if the credits was the flying shit landing on the ground forming the names Or maybe Im the only one who likes that idea.
doffer
#66
@Tyson:
Thanks you for your comment!
I’m glad you like it, and thank you for spotten the spelling mistake
@Dennis:
Hey
Thanks to you too.
I’m not quite sure what you mean about the propeller. It shouldn’t rotate or what?
Yeah, the storyboard said a wagon, but I like this a bit better, but maybe I can model it out to be a big wood container thingy instead.
Haha, yeah that ending title sounds pretty cool, but it also sounds like waaaaay too much work for an ending title, considering there is only ONE MONTH left… shhiiiiit…
Plus I kinda like the way the ending title works now
Cheers
Doerge
#67
Hi Christoffer!
Cool. Nice that you keep up the work!
When the exhaust pipes falls off and hits the ground I think there should be less time between them hitting the ground. A bit too slow right now.
And a look-test… nice. As mentioned your DOF makes it look like a minerature. Soften up his shadow on the fence, and maybe add a subtle green bounce light from the grass, when he is that close to the ground.
Looking forward to next update! 
musi
#68
Hi Christoffer,
You are doing a good job here
I agree with Doerge’s and Deje3D comments regarding animation.
If I may add my own penny… You may want to work a bit more with the timing of the action scenes, they look a bit too long right now. May be make shots shorter and animations in every shot more compact and accentuated. Better shorter but better, you may end with a film twice as shot, but 10 times more interesting to watch.
Keep going!
doffer
#69
@Aske:
Thank you for your comments. I’ve written your suggestions down, and hopefully they’re corrected in the next update.
Cheers
@Musi:
Thanks a lot for your comments. I’m glad you like it
Yeah, speed has always been my problem. It’s very difficult to see for myself, whether or not they should sped up with 20 or 30 % or if they are fine.
I think that I’ll just try and speed up my playplasts in Premiere, and see how that looks. Then I can go in and correct it in maya afterwards
But thank you for the heads-up.
I’ll hopefully submit a new update tonight at some point.
doffer
#70
Software: Maya
I cut off about 17 seconds, based on different comments from users here on CGtalk.
I think it became a lot better, and if no one has anything critical I think I’ll call it final animation for now.
I need some time for shading/lighting/rendering too.
I’m also thinking of adding a bit of scream into some of the shots, and maybe find e new soundstrack, not that fond of it anymore, but maybe it’s because I’ve heard it too many times already.
Let me know what you think about it all
And YES I just spotted the spelling mistake in the title :S
I’ll fix it for next time
Cheers
Thiago-Pires
#71
Hey Doffer,
Great animation!! Really funny character!
One thing that could be good for the editing is to accelerate the speed when the old man starts flying out and you could also speed up and give some impact when he falls.
Good luck!!
doffer
#72
@Thiago-Pires:
Thanks a lot. I’m glad you like it. I really dug the fx wars you guys did! Spot on!
Yeah, accelerating out of the shot is a nice idea.
I also see now, that he moves to slow foreward in the shot where he loses his pipes, so I’ll correct that as well.
I worked on the texturing/shading of the machine and man today.
I’ll post a 360 render soon.
Cheers
doffer
#73
Okay, the uploader won’t work, so I’ll just give you the mov file:
http://www.doffer.dk/turnaround.mov
Deje3D
#74
It’s SO awesome that you keep moving forward and are getting closer to finishing the project.
I showed the video to my girlfriend, and she commented, that she didnt really think that i looked like he was pushing the mashine harder, to fly faster. If you got spare time, maybe you could consider a other way to show it.
musi
#75
Hi Christoffer,
It looks so much better in the short version!
I think it’s a wize decision to go on to lighting and shading, but if you will have time for improvement it would be nice to try working with comments of Deje3D and Thiago-Pires. You may also want to add a reaction shot (may be a close up of the surprised face) just before he starts to fall down
Good work!
doffer
#76
@Dennis:
Hey, mate. I’m glad you showed it to your girlfriend. It’s always great to have a view from someone who doesn’t see the technical aspect of it (as I assume she doesn’t).
I’ll try and see if I can spice up the shot a bit, making it look more as if he pushes it. I don’t think I’ll add a whole new shot though. Ain’t got time to do it, now that school starts again, and portfolio deadline creeping up from behind as you know 
@Shasha:
Good idea about the reaction shot. I can probably squeeze that in, without too much of a hassle.
I’m glad you liked the new update. I think it works a lot better also. I think I’ll give the animation just another touch, as I’ve now gathered a couple of comment, but that’ll be it. I still have a long way to go and not a whole lot of time.
ru-bonsai
#77
I really like it, very funny!
are you planning to move the camera in the take off scene?
I think that particular scene needs some boost, maybe something like a backfire reaction on the camera when icarus leaves the frame…
nice animation though, good work!
doffer
#78
Software: Maya
I did a little bit of change in the animation in some of the scenes. Added a closeup/reaction shot as well.
I hope you like it.
As you can see, two of the shots are rendered out now.
I still need to change the background and the clouds though. They are not working what so ever.
I have started rendering, and scenes will tick in a slow but steady rate.
I still need to figure out how to do the clouds as well.
Ru-Bonsai:
Yes, you are absolutely right. That scene could use a boost for sure.
I’ll wait a bit to render it out, and see if I can come up with some smart way to give it a bit more energy, I can’t promise anything though
doffer
#79
Software: Maya
Okay, I promise to update with animation soon.
In the mean time, here is a collage with 6 frames, one from each of the shots.
I hope you like it.
Cheers
doffer
#80
Software: Maya
This is what I have so far.
Some of the rendered shots needs some speed, but I think it’ll be okay when the clouds comes in (once I find a way to create them, that is).
Hope you like it
Cheers