hi,
you have chosen a very difficult and ambitious story.
good luck.
Steampunk Myths and Legends Entry: Alexandra Ciolac
musi
#82
vlad-icobet
Thanks! The fish is in the modeling - I hope to the next Monday I will have something of it to show.
ArekZawada
Yes, it is a difficult story to tell… But we have a good story teller - Esben 
We wanted this project to be a learning experience, presenting some new challenges for all of us, and allowing us to test some new things, in the terms of story telling as well as technical aspects…
Doerge
#83
Cool details on both of the designs. Have to say I like the old water-tank better on the fish because it looks more steampunk’ish to me.
I’m a little puzzled about the scale of the fish relative to the boat… any thoughts on that from you guys?
Looks great… can’t wait to see some 3D now 
musi
#84
The first version of animatic and story,
by Esben Toft Jacobsen.
Esben says:
"Right now it is 51 seconds, so 21 seconds too much, but let me hear what you miss (damn it is hard to put everything I want into 30 seconds)…
I miss seeing more of the city, and I miss seeing the old man use his technology arm (and I miss seeing the boat and the fish more… 
Maybe I should explain the story - My pictures might not be clear enough
1: First we are looking through the periscope. We see a blinking probe.
2: Then we see the probe falling through the fog close up. Clearly counting down to something with the light on the side.
3: Through the periscope we see the probe explode, revealing the shadow of the fish, lit from underneath.
4: The old man reacts
5: The boat from behind. The sea of fog in front of the boat is stirring
6: the old man cloesup
7: The fish rise its head just above the fog
8: the old man fires the harpoon
9: the harpoon flies
10: the wire attached to the harpoon spins on the wheel
11: the fish is hit in the side
12: the iris of the fish grows small
13: the fish explode with steam, pulling the harpoon wire
14: total of the boat and the steam from the fish rising through the surface of the fog
15: following the pull in the wire
16: the wire pulls the boat
17: the feet of the boat have a hard time getting a good grip
18: the boat stumbles a bit.Then the wire hangs down
19: the old man look up toward the sound of seagulls
20: two seagulls fly in the sky
21: the boat seen from above. Below the boat we see the fish cirkling the boat (maybe starting some kind of fog-vortex?)
I skipped all dialog, as I think this tells the story of the man meeting the fish, and I didn’t really need the narration for that.
Tell me what you think! If you miss anything… I think the editing and the angles could be a lot better (and faster… need to cut out 20 sec…)"
musi
#85
Hi Esben,
I agree with you - I miss seeing the man and his arm, and boat and fish… I wouldn’t want to see anything under the fog… There too many effects now, and we don’t have an effects specialist…
I love the boat shots, specially one looking up to it along the rope! And it would be nice to have the fish jump out of fog while already caught, instead of lifting the head - that way we can see connection of man and fish and man’s struggle with it… And can we have the line connected to the man like he is holding it and guiding the fish til it’s tired, instead of it being connected to the boat?
And I like very much the absence of dialog.
Over all, it’s feels more like a straight away story telling than a trailer…
I hope it’s not too many comments and wishes
What do others think?
Doerge
Do you think the fish is too big, or too small? If you know the story, the Old Man has actually caught a REALLY big fish, that was longer then his boat
And the water tank is relevant to our story interpretation, because the Old Man actually fishing for it’s water…
Thanks for comments!
We appreciate all the ideas we can get.
doffer
#86
Hey guys, it looks really good!
Is there some particular reason why it cannot be longer than 30 seconds?
You can just deliver a cut down version plus the full-length version.
At least that’s how I read the rules:
“30 second version of trailer for initial judging. Followed by a maximum of 90 sec making of material, followed by full length Video.”
But of cause keeping it below 30 seconds gives a nice limit, also considering the workload
musi
#88
This is a modeling WIP of the fish.
by Alexandra Ciolac.
I have started with blocking big surfaces and peaces, leaving them as simple as possible for fast changes and twicks, taking care of curves and surface flows and getting the over all shape to work.
Now I am filling in the guts and imprtant joints.
And after that I will return to surfaces and put in the detail… Hope to finish this to Christmas.
ivanisavich
#89
Really awesome progress so far guys…great to see how well you’re planning it through!
musi
#92
by Andreas Normand Grontved (andreasng)
Andreas says:
“or what about going more graphical. cus right now we only got boat and fish, so actually the man could look like anything!”
Doerge
#93
Oh I see… Cool that he is fishing for the water! Nice twist.
With that in mind I think your fish has just about the right size… bigger it would be kind of impossible for him to ever catch it and smaller there just wouldn’t be enough water in that tank worth all the trouble. The size it has now also seems big enough to be frightening!
Cool some 3D! Looks like you got the basic shapes blocked in. True to the concept so far.
About the animatic, I think it has a very good feel of what the story gives you when you read it. Especially that last scene with him gazing at the seagulls. Although I have to agree with musi. The feet of the boat on the ground isn’t really necessary, I think and it made me wonder even more what the hell is a fish doing flying a round in some fog above a forest?? Maybe you could do a mix with a couple of musi’s wishes… cutting away the stumple shot, replace with total of the boat and the fish. The fish jumping out of the fog, the boat rocking maybe being pulled a little bit and the line breaking just when it’s clear of the fog. Just thought-dropping so ignore it if it’s completely lame :wip:
musi
#95
By Alexandra Ciolac.
This is finished and ready to rig model of the fish. It’s not exactly as concept, but quite close to it.
musi
#96
by Esben Toft Jacobsen.
And here we have a next version of animatic. It’s not final yet, some things are to be changed…
It’s dictated by the fact that one of our team members have decided to stop (Jimmy, our modeler, had to sign off the project for personal reasons). So we need to cut on things a bit and be realistic on how much we can do in given time, considering that it’s only one person (me) who is standing for 3d asset creation. So we have decided do not build the man in 3d, but find a way to cheat him somehow in 2d, and build the the story around the assets we already have (the fish) and what is realistic to build (the boat).
It’s a bit of a challenge, but we will see how it will end up
doffer
#97
Awww, sorry to hear that 
I hope you guys find a workable solution, 'couse the concept is really great, and I would hate to see it miss the deadline (not as much as you I guess, though :D)
The fish model looks really cool!
Good luck
musi
#98
Doerge
Thanks for your help, Aske, we appreciate it a lot! And Esben is doing a new animatic, taking in consideration those comments
Airflow
Thank you! It’s actually a pleasure to work with inspiring concepts (by Andreas).
doffer
Yep, it’s a bit hard at the moment… But we hope to finish it with assets we have, and rework the story to avoid assets we can’t make… We will see
musi
#99
By Alexandra Ciolac.
It’s difficult to show a rig in an image, but here we go - ready fish rig.