haha…well, before buying a new expensive computer i would suggest box3 or TP3…
don’t know about box3 but i assume it can do it. containing TP3, it is some of the basics in it 
don’t know what this all script things do discussed here, but what you could do also, if you just need this puff thing, but from surface(if it really must be from surface). then you could fake it 
make particle A fly around or what ever they have to do. then at age prefered, make them spawn in all directions.
then again, drive your objects with these same particles A, and use them as U-deflector.
add a collision event, and make only these new spawned particles visible when they had collided with the udeflector.
only disadvantage: if you have a lot of different objects, you have to create a udeflector for each of them 
hope this helps