The “motion graphics” reel is the one that I reviewed.
The other one … well-l-l-l… Ahem. I would quite frankly scrap it and completely redo the edit. (Sorry.) It has no life at all. The very short repetitive sound-loop began to grate on my nerves less than halfway through the picture. And the pace of the second reel, compared to the first, was non-existent.
I do not intend for those written-words to feel like a ton o’ bricks. Written words tend to have that consequence.
I would judge that the most important thing which the second reel is intended to convey is the skill of technical breakdowns, e.g. of the football scene. If this be so, then it must do so clearly and unhurriedly. It takes several seconds to even comprehend that “you’re up to something,” and by the time that’s happened, you’re apparently “done.” Each presentation needs to go like this: [ol]
[li] “Heads up! Something’s about to happen!” [] The finished “real” shot … which becomes “fake.” Pause. (Show me what you’re about to show me…) [] One at a time, “show me something new.” Then, return to home base. Now, second base. Then home. Now, third. Home. [] In the end, recap what you just showed me. [] “Breathe… breathe… now we’re gonna do it again.” [/ol]
[/li]Finally, I think that it is very important that the two reels must not share any material. When they do, the second robs from the first.
Your motion-graphics reel is very strong indeed. Tweak it slightly and get it on the road, selling.
