I mean “so it stays there” not “almost stays there” 
I was using auxiliary effectors to pin down the feet and keep them from sliding, but weird things were happening anyway and the feet kept sliding, maybe because of animation layers, maybe for some other reason, I don’t know, I’m new to MB. oh, and even in the online demos, when they present the aux effectors in that video of the 2 girls fighting, they don’t manage to lock that foot down properly. and they say something like (don’t remember the exact words) “well it’s sort of pinned down now, better than it was before”… and I was like “arrrrgh” people can’t use “sort of” when they need to lock things down.
so my revelation - use all needed auxiliary effectors on a separate layer, key when you need them to go on/off (here it took me a while to realize you key in the Character Controls window - Reach T and Reach R, by clicking the K buttons, not with normal keys), make sure you don’t do things like extending the leg too much so it moves the foot out of place anyway, no matter what you’d do, and here’s the trick:
on that same layer, set a key (normal timeline keyframe) on every frame where you have active auxiliary effectors!!!
when you do this, MB automatically repositions the rig, frame by frame, to follow the aux effectors properly. of course, you might not need to do this if things work, and they sometimes work, I try to pose in such a way that I don’t even need aux effectors. but many times I do, and this cheap trick does the job 
I mean, I find it simpler, because when I’m animating I prefer not to have to deal with any kind of other interface except for what’s on screen, nor tweak too many extra-knobs, if possible, of course. The ideal animation workflow for me is one that allows me to focus on animation, while paying minimum attention to what the software is doing. Of course, one has to learn the soft and use the technology, but if the technology can allow me to use it effectively without paying too much attention to it, and not getting sidetracked by technicalities, so much for the better
(also the ideal animation software would be one that focuses on animation, in my case, character animation. MB is not, but it still is the best solution I could find yet. I’m looking forward to