Forced to Quit Art


#1

Hello all

I am a 23 who, after being involved in a huge variety of artistic endeavours my entire life, can no longer participate due to my health. 2 years ago, I was going through architecture school, doing extremely well, living up to and enjoying the rigorous environment of school and now here I am defeated, I would be on the street if it wasnt for my parents letting me live with them. I have Arnold Chiari Malformaiton which causes constant severe neck, wrist, arm and shoulder pain that last for an entire lifetime. I have always been drawn to art, creating illustrated books and Garfield cartoons with Microsoft paint when I was very little.

After dropping out, I had decided to get more seriouly into photography, which is the least intense on my body. Walking about and looking will hurt my neck, however, it will not hurt my arms and wrists and getting light aerobic exercise is good for me. Doing this, I have racked up a large supply of photos and have fine tuned this craft. However, I cannot edit them on the computer due to the wrist pain. I have done a few, but this caused me such bad wrist pain as to give insomnia.

How do I keep going? What would some of you do? I still constantly come up with ideas but have no way of pursuing them. (this post is dictated) I have really fallen into a deep depression here. The pain is bad enough, however, the lack of a voice makes is almost impossible to get out of bed. I am sure situations like this have caused other artist to end their lives.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?

THNKS for listening


#2

omg.
I’m not very good with this, so I try to keep it short.
I don’t know anything about Arnold Chiari Malformation, I’m dealing with an immune defiency by myself, it doesn’t hurt, so I’m quite able to live a normal life except being sick all the time. It was quite a shock when getting the diagnose at the age of 19, following years of fighting myself, depressions all the way, feeling worthless, asking myself ‘why me?’ a million times with no answer.

But I’m through this.

The hardest part with depressions is that they don’t seem to end, it’s like a circle you run over and over again, unless you have a target, a goal to achieve which makes it easier or possible at all to break this circle.
Don’t lose your faith in whatever you believe in, do not give yourself up, no matter how hard the situation is or will get. I don’t know what I would do in your situation. End my life? Well, it’s not the point that I didn’t tried, but I’m still here and I won’t go. It’s the only life I got, so I will live it and I think you should do so too.

Get well (hope this doesn’t sound cynic to you). Do not give up.


#3

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. Not knowing much about your disorder, I can’t
offer too much specific advice. But keep living. I’ve never been pathological depressed, per se, but I’ve had similar experiences and I know they can be terrible. Make sure you’re getting all the help you can with both the physical and psychological pain.

Don’t stop exploring those different avenues of creativity. You say you can’t physically write, but you may be able to use speech-recognition software. Perhaps you can find a new way of expressing yourself artistically through the power of language. Photography’s great; don’t give up on that one, even if you can’t go through the process of editing them. And…remember that there is life in the absence of art, as hard as that can be. Many people do it, though I can’t understand why or how.

Hang in there. If I’ve learned one thing through my share of crappy experiences, it’s that things always turn around and get better eventually if you give them time. The wait can be excruciating…but the joy afterwards is purely awesome.

Good luck, and God bless.


#4

Hi Nate

Um, I don’t really now what I would do in your situation. I am 23 as well. I have been diagnosed with many psychologocal disorders, but never physical ones. At least not life threatening ones. It hurts when I paint and model from a dislocated shoulder that pinches my nerves and the sleeping is a struggle. I keep going though, even though I know this will haunt my health later in life(more sooner than later)… I just don’t want you to give up. You can teach! you can share your wealth of knowledge to others less fortunate. Art is a state of mind to me, NOT a product…That’s what I think. Please don’t lose faith. I will have you in my prayers. Please don’t lose hope. Please…

-Isaias


#5

I was diagnosed with cancer at age of 20. I had chemo back then, life was pretty hard at that point. In some respect that gave me more motivation to keep going with improving skills and i am glad that i did not give up at that time. I am yet trying to sharpen my skills and create some form of work everyday. Once you turn this into daily habit you will forget that you have illness. Keeping your spirit up is the best medicine in my opinion.

Best luck


#6

Look into vertical mouse–it uncrosses the bones of your forearm so it doesn’t pinch the nerves/blood vessels. I don’t know how much that will help you, but it’s far more comfortable than a regular mouse. Also, look into expensive ergonomic chairs–something that’s not the cheap $80 crap–should cost around $200 or more–and not because it’s made of some luxury material like fine leather, but because the cost reflects the ergonomic design for body/arm support of long working hours). For me, these things took a lot of the cramps/pain away from my body that typical chairs/mouse caused.


#7

hi mate,
sorry to hear your story. I was working in animation for many year until I broke a disc and could not sit anymore bent over the drawing board.
I had terrible back pain and deppression for 3 years. Slowly I cam back.

the things which helped me where focusing what is important in life.

  1. Familie, Relationships and Friends
  2. The Eckhard Tolle book “Living in the Now”
  3. A special exercise program from Packi

Get a look at the book, I am sure I might help you too. A lot of our pain comes through the mind, battling with was is. We are loosing energy instead of living in the now.
Check it out.

all the best to you!
Yours
Abbe


#8

I was a fairly well known illustrator in the science fiction, fantasy and horror genres. My technique was pen and ink stippling, a very labor intensive style. Over the years, it gave me carpal tunnel and I had to quit doing my art. Very sad. Then I discovered the computer, 3d studio max and photoshop. I’ve been happily doing art ever since that turned out to be even closer to my vision than traditional art ever was. You’ll never stop doing art. If you’re an artist, you’re an artist because you HAVE to be. You may have to change media, but you’ll always create. I’m disabled and half blind as well. You just do what you can with what you have. Not that I’m some shining example. I feel sorry for myself as much as anyone. I have a crappy computer that holds me back and I can only dream of a decent computer to work on. The amount of time I can spend at the computer is limited, making me dearly wish for a laptop for those times I have to remain in bed. I live in unimaginable poverty, in a city where i have no friends, no transportation and don’t know anybody. My computer, my writing and my art get me out of bed in the morning and doing something. Pain and depression is something I deal with daily, some days worse than others. All I can tell you is do SOMETHING, anything, just to keep going. As a photographer myself, something I can’t do anymore, if you can’t edit the photos on the computer, increase your skill and edit them in the camera. Instead of a mouse try a whatchicallit, a rollerball, whatever they’re called. http://www.donjohnston.com/catalog/pengild.htm
Don’t give up. Once you give up you start dying. The more you try to do, the more you find you CAN do. No, it won’t ever be as much as you used to be able to do, but it will be more than you think you can do now. No big jumps, but your body will get accustomed to doing little bits as you push just a wee bit on your abilities.


#9

Do you have constant pain, no matter whether you move your joints or not? Can you move or at least exert pressure with your fingers/fingertips without causing additional pain to your wrists etc.? If you can at least move your fingers or exert pressure with your fingertips without causing extra pain then I guess you could find someone (a company, an engineer, maybe even a handy college engineering/mechanics/electronics or whatever student) to build you a custom controller for your computer which would resemble the functions of a mouse. You would have to find out what works best for you, but from the top of my head I could imagine something like this: 2 straps placed directly under two of your fingers, moving upwards/downwards with one finger on one strap would move the (mouse) pointer on the screen up/down, moving your second finger on the second strap would move the pointer to the left/right. Below the other two fingers you could place buttons that would act as mouse buttons. This way your whole body could stay in a relaxed position and all you would need to move would be the tips of your fingers. Something like that… With time I’m sure you could probably even start to draw and paint this way (hell, I saw people drawing and playing guitar with their TOES :o).

Sure, such a custom controller would cost more than a plain mouse, but at the end it sure would be worth it, right? Also, for typing, a while ago I read about an invention - a kind of “keyboard glove” - that allowed you to type by simply pressing your thumb against marked spots on the other fingers of the same hand - again, hardly (if at all) any movement of the wrist(s) envolved. I would look into these things. The “keyboard glove” was actually working and production ready, the guy who invented it was some German scientist as far as I remember, last thing I heard was he tried to patent it in the USA I believe… But even if you can’t buy it in the stores yet, I believe the principle behind it was quite simple, some handy guy could probably make you one in his own garage (the prototype was also hand-crafted using the simplest tools and materials as far as I remember).

Last but not least - but this is probably a really long shot - there is research done in controlling the computer (or at least the cursor on the screen) using brain waves. First results seem promising, there already even exist prototypes of such “controllers”. Probably however, for this to be actually useful and affordable, you’d have to wait some more years. But what I’m trying to say is, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s actually not THAT far away.

I would look into that “custom mouse controller” and that “keyboard glove”, though, this is something you could use NOW, and it would not cost you a fortune.

Believe me, I know how it feels to have that unstoppable urge inside of you to express yourself through art, and I hope you will find a way to do so. I am not a physician, but by the descriptions of your symptoms I infer you have some form of syringomyelia (am I right?) and I read in some cases it can be partially healed or at least brought to a halt. Good luck, dude.


#10

Are there alternatives to a mouse that would be easier to use like eye tracking? You could combine this with using voice recognition.


#11

get your problem diagnosed from a few different sources and scan the net for anyone else who has gone thru the same thing your going thru. I was given a wrong diagnoses a few years back that almost ruined my career and I just found out a good friend got the wrong diagnosis on a neck and back problem that had her in agony for about 18 months. I seriously find it hard to trust doctors now. Get an MRI scan. Really make sure that you know what your dealing with.
Also check out the book ‘Power of Now’ that was mention by another post. Some great ideas on handling mental issues.
good luck … dont give up … its all for a reason. Hard times like these in retrospect make you realise what is important.


#12

Nate,

Hang in there. Youre an inspiration to us all. It is very admirable that you really want to find away around your disability. Keep your family close, dont lose hope, and focus on your goals more than anything. This is what keeps us all going.

I don’t think anyone has brought up a Wacom tablet. Not only are you able to use these for drawing, but you are also able to use it as a replacement for a mouse. It is very affordable, and I think if you used this in conjuction with an ergonomic chair and table attachment for the wacom, it wouldn’t require any sort of strenuous movement.

Hang in there Nate keep us posted on how youre doing.


#13

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