Composition critique

#1

Working on an idea inspired by the Donato Giancola’s “Joan of Arc.”

Still have a lot of drawing to go, such as armor and clothing bits. But I went ahead and laid down some values to see how everything looked with some weight assigned to it.

Anyway, I was looking to get some feedback on the overall composition.

[i]things to note
This has nothing to do with Joan of Arc other than me giving credit to Giancola’s composition.

I should be able to define more tense muscle structures when I get to actually laying down some paint. Also, hopefully the swing and motion of the clothing bits will aid in conveying the action of the human figure and the orc that’s caught his arm. They’re a bit stiff…[/i]

#2

Nice work so far! I like the composition very much, especially as drawing. The slightly random looking clipping adds to the mess of a battle.

Personally i believe that those tusks and pointed ears were lowering the otherwise mature appearance of the work, but it’s a very subjective opinion. As for details:

  • the hands of the dying guy in front look staged, not expressive enough.(true also a bit for the left hand of the guy in the center - his hand rather passive)
  • that little knife at left would be more believable on a ship, even if seeing the wish to fill the space there without covering the hand.
  • faces of the bad guys don’t have the same quality as the main figure - not enough aggressivity/brutality (the guy in the back looks even like suffering)
  • what’s happening in the background?

Keep it up!

#3

Thanks for the critique Zokana!

“- what’s happening in the background?”

Man I have know idea! It’s just a mess of values right now. In my head I was toying around with the idea of a jungle or something. Maybe I could develop the story along the lines of this human was caught infiltrating an orc camp. I could have his body painted with mud or something that he might of used to break up his silhouette. The background figure that appears to be suffering was supposed to be in a frenzied yell as he’s bringing his sword down.

An idea for the hand holding the small knife. What if I were to scrub that out and have a weapon falling from the dying guy’s hand? A club or mace of some sort?

Though I do like the hand’s placement in the extreme foreground…

Thanks again for your time and thoughts!

#4

Hard to give you an advice… Fact is that you need something there to keep the messy feel, and fact is also that that hand is looking like a space filler (also because much higher than the scenery). But i’d keep the idea to have there an other warrior partly visible, showing perhaps his bald top of the head - and not to forget the good old spiked flails, with their ability to swing where ever you want in the picture.

#5

The cropping that cuts off at certain areas may seem a bit claustrophobic, but maybe that’s the effect you’re going for.

I think your positioning of main focal point works, and you can organize the composition better by simply redefining your tonal composition. Separate each main shape/figure with different overall values, as if they are paper cutouts, and then manage their values so that there’s a clear hierarchy of what’s important and what’s not, and what’s got the strongest silhouette/contrast, and what’s more flat and less eye-catching. Having a solid tonal composition at the most basic level is one of the best ways to tighten up your composition and give it a strong foundation to be built on top of.

#6

Thanks for the advice Lunatique!

#7

Great start. This has a lot of potential.
Crits–Currently I think the composition looks a bit static and staged with the two central characters standing too vertical. I’d rotate the image about 20° counter clockwise. This will enhance the composition by adding the dynamic tension it is currently missing. I’d show all of the sword wieder’s right arm so the image doesn’t emphasize the cropping, which reads, to me, as—I’ll crop in on the good stuff and leave out all the other time consuming stuff.
I’m usually not a big fan of close cropped action compositions, as they look like zoomed details of a larger complete painting, but I think this can work in your case, if it’s lit properly with some moody chiaroscuro lighting.
A few other things I would do:
–Open the mouth of the tusked ghoul holding the man’s arm.

–Keep the upper part of the man’s head in shadow, emphasizing the symbolic threat of impending doom.

–Move the skewered ghoul’s left hand in a sword grasping gesture, as it suggests anyway, away from the sword.

–Use subjective dramatic (theatrical) light and shadow on the two attacking ghoul’s faces.

Looking forward to seeing your updates!

Here’s a po with all my suggestions:

#8

Beautiful forms. I wonder if rotating the image might make your hero more of the focus? Right now my eye is drawn to the fellow grabbing his arm. Standing him upright separates him visually from the ghouls and seems to give him a more heroic aspect to my eyes.

#9

Update!

Thanks for the advice everyone. When I get more rendering done I’ll try out some of the ideas offered and see what we get.

As it is now, the figures in the background will have their major values adjusted quite a bit until there’s better balance in the piece.

#10

It’s going to be a really satisfying piece any way it shakes out, I am thinking. Look forward to updates!

#11

Agree with Quadart’s paintover, except maybe the strong overall tilting. But he’s right that the figures are somewhat too vertical. I especially like there to have the main guy vertically more in the center, and the dying guy’s head more in the lower right corner.

Not sure about the falling tomahawk on the update. The dying guy seems to be left-handed to fill the space there.

Made also a paintover trying to compress the scenery and to show some heavy contrast as possibility >> click here

Cheers
z

#12

Awesome paint over Zokana, that’s going to help a ton!

#13

Making adjustments based off of zokana’s paint over. I’ll still need to adjust the values of everything at some point.

#14

Alright guys, I think I’m going to call this one done for now. Thanks again for everyone’s help!

#15

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