Hi! I need some advice for writing the first episode of a long-form webcomic. I want to establish main characters, the setting, and mood without it really having a set mood. Thus far I have the script written (totalling 5 pages), but I am not confident in it as a first episode.
My story is primitive-genre, having an elfin caveboy (elves can cavemen too, LOL!), who is 11 years old living with his clan. He is destined to become chief when he comes of age (22), and has many lessons on the way as he grows up to chief and beyond. I want the stories to be humorous, but also for them to be serious when needed.
This is the summary of the first episode. Don’t be afraid to give me your opinion:
Prophecy of the next chief is shown in a brief Prologue. Title card. Character’s village is shown. Yani is introduced. Yani is told he will be chief. His dad, the current chief, tells him to pick berries with his friend Korak. Yani’s rival is introduced; rival teases Yani for not being ‘manly’ since rival gets to go hunting with his father. Yani picks berries with Korak. Yani rejects it because he thinks it’s too girly. The two friends try hunting. They injure an animal. Yani confesses what happened. Yani’s father finds prey animal and puts it out of its misery. Yani learns a hard lesson about consulting with the elders and about judgement.
Can you have a serious first episode? Would that be a turn-off for readers or no? I don’t want someone to stop reading after Issue 01 or something, that would be bad. Please help me, I will be quite grateful. If you want to look at the script and critique it, that would be great too.