BANNED '' car jack scene''

#1

Using some reference by taking some pictures of myself standing in these positions, I came up with this ‘‘car jacking’’ scene. The colors and ambiance is inspired a bit by the ‘‘fuzzy vs clear and textured’’ style of Benjamin Zhang Bin - a true master in his style!.. IT WAS still REFUSED for CG_Talk galleries, I don’t understand why? Not good enough I guess…

#2

Some of your brushwork is encroaching upon the structural integrity of your image. For example, look at the blue guy’s right arm–you’ve painted it in such a way as to confuse the orientation of the upper arm (its sleeve cannot possibly be facing us in perspective–it has to be pointing forward, away from us), and your edges all seem be arbitrary, instead of following any kind of a logical or artistic hierarchy. Think about why you would want to have specific edges as sharp, firm, soft, or lost. Are you judging according to the focal plane of a camera’s lens? Are you judging according to composition such as selective focal areas in the image?

In terms of narrative, you have something happening, but what’s the significance of this action? What is the overall premise of this narrative? Is there a bigger story surrounding this one moment?

#3

Thanks for the critique! It<s well apreciated! :slight_smile:

#4

Working in a particular style is not an automatic gallery qualifier. The artist you reference, working in that particular style, handles it well. You did not, in this case. In comparison, your image looks rushed and the marks do not accentuate or emphasize the forms you’re depicting clearly enough, leaving a lot of confused and messy areas throughout.

As far as the sleeve issue Robert pointed out, I don’t see it as a problem. The right sleeve reads right in relation to the angle of the car door with the perp’s body pressed against it. The hinge of the door is closer to the viewer than the far end, as his right elbow is a little closer to the viewer than his right shoulder, IMO. If his right elbow were beyond the window edge (not in front of it as it is), I’d agree with the point that the arc of the sleeve should be reversed. I’d say the ellipse of the sleeve is definitely too wide, and should be much narrower, about 15°, half of what it is now.

2¢ from the consummate nitpicker. :smiley:

#5

Good catch. You’re right, if we look at the angle of the car door, then it does make sense. But the real acid test is if you ignore the door and just look at the arm, while blocking out just where the sleeve meets the arm with your finger while looking–it becomes very clear that our brain will automatically see it as that upper arm facing away from us.

#6

I’m familiar with Bin’s work. Even though the backgrounds and landscapes are often fuzzy, the central character or action is clear and readable. The face on your victim feels unfinished. I felt like this was a missed opportunity in this painting.
I like the concept behind this image. I feel with more work it can evoke some strong emotions.

#7

So I corrected updated and reframed the pictre… Better?

#8

The following reasons were again mentionned…

-There might be noticeable artistic or technical problems in your image.

-The context of your image may need a more creative presentation.

-The image might contain elements that could be offensive to some.

I guess it also might be the 3rd reason, can it? :slight_smile:

#9

Maybe it’s the 3rd reason, but I still feel the image is unfinished. Just wondering why there is detail in the shirt but not the door for example.
But unless you feel you really strongly about getting this image into the gallery, I would start work on different piece to submit. I would still try to improve the image on this forum if time permits.

#10

the 2 things that kit me hardest:

  • I dont like how it was reframed. I feel like the original was better, it told more of the story.

  • The guy who car is being taken… he looks like a lifeless mannequin. His facial expressions don’t make me feel like he has a gun in his face and that me might lose his life.

#11

Hi thanks for the comments! I think I need to restart that shit!.. The image isnt working out very well… thanks for the critique

#12

The rejection form message is used for ALL images that are rejected due non-technical reasons (such as not using your real name, not putting in a description for your image, basing your image on copyrighted images, etc). The rejection form message is not meant to pinpoint what the judges think is weak about your image. You’re supposed to just post your work in the WIP forums and then discuss your image with fellow forums members to figure out what can be improved. There are hundreds of image going through the judging cue, so it’s impossible to give each individual image a concise critique.

I can tell you that it’s not because the image is offensive, because it isn’t.

I didn’t get to see this updated version in the judging cue, but if I did see it, I’m not sure I would have accepted it. It would be a borderline case and I’d be wavering about it.

The reason I’d be wavering about is is because of the composition and the overall narrative.

Why do you frame this so that the top of the left character’s head is so high up in the top border? I agree that the original had better composition. Having your focal point that high isn’t optimal for composition. It might help if read up on classic compositional knowledge (if you don’t know them already) such as Rule-of-Thirds, The Golden Ratio, and Divine Proportions.

Also, zooming in so close for this specific narrative seems unnecessary, because there’s no actual emotional resonance in the narrative–it’s just a guy car-jacking someone. If this was a scene with emotional resonance, then pushing the camera in would make more sense. I recommend you pull the camera back and reveal more of the scene, so there’s a strong sense of place and overall atmosphere, as well as give more context to the action we’re seeing.

The clothing folds are also a bit vague. Are you using proper references, and are you deviating from them without a good reason?

#13

Thanks Lunatic, I apprecite your time for posting all that explanation! You are right! The original image (not posted here) was framed much wider, and the action, jacking, was happening on the right hand side 2thirds of the screen. But I felt like I wouldnt be able to illustrate it well enough so I cropped it! Was a msitake!
I also dont find good reference for the clothing, I agree. I do with what I can find here and there… but I need more reference I admit!
Thanks again

#14

If you are at gun point, realistically as an untrained person in self defence, lifeless is a common reaction because of fear.

Ok the shirt pattern is really not helping, plain was better.
Just because last thing you want as a criminal is to be remembered so they want to look as plain and generic as possible so the police will have a vague description to go by.

#15

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.