this kids 24 promo was done in my second year of uni (9 weeks).
My first proper 3d animation.
The link below will take you to my website where you can see it, my 3rd year human animation and some character art.
comments welcome,
thanks
HARRY RIYAIT:harry.riyait2@ntlworld.com
Hmmm… I personalyl didn’t like the style, and the jokes were quite cheap (kicking something and then having a hurt foot without further joke is kind-of old)…
it’s an early piece. the focus is the animation. but, judging by your portfolio, i ain’t taking ur comments too seriously. but thanks anyway. 
have a look at the portfolio and the rest of the work on there.
all welcome.
I jollywell beg your pardon - what’s so bad about my portfolio that any comment I make about your animation (that you wanted this community -thus me too- opinion on) is unvalid? I simply didn’t like the style and the joke is cheap. That has nothing to do with things in my portfolio, but with my oppinion.
Btw, thanks for looking at my portfolio, but if you judge my opinion -which I gave without shouting or screaming ‘my god this is bad’- on it; don’t bother.
beg all you want…
i am open to comments and crits…it just annoys me when 16 year olds cog up forums and waste time, when they shoul be doing thier homework.
any over 18 character animators? or people with jobs? if so, take a look at my portfolio and please feel free to comment and crit on the animation or character concepts…
thanks for your time folks.
Ha! I got vacation, no homework for me.
So, the opinion of this 16-year-old who has worked with 3ds max for 5 years doesn’t count? Ah well. Have it your way. But next time you ask for an oppinion, put in your message that you don’t want any replies from people under 18 without jobs, that makes it clearer for me to see if I should give my honest oppinion.
…waisting time and cogging up forums? Oh, you mean taking the time to view your animation and commenting on it, right. Ah well, I don’t think you wanted your post dragged into an age discussion anyway. Sorry about that. In a few years it won’t happen anymore 
that’s enough…thanks for you crit…there are some cheap jokes…but that wasn’t the focus of the animation…cheers for your time tho. hope school works out for ya:-)
LOL, forgot to update my profile, thanks for reminding me.
Well, 16 years old, a long way to go buddy.
Learn Learn Learn.
Wow way to come off sounding like an ass Harry. That’s beautiful. If you insist on playing the age game maybe someone young would know what makes a fun Kids channel commercial?
Parrot is the mature guy so far…
So anyway, despite all that I watched the animation. There seems to be an error in the first-ish frame, his head appears in the shot just before he starts moving. Not a sign of quality…
The white background is stylish, and one I’m partial to myself from time to time, but since you’re moving the camera it makes following that movement really difficult. That box essentially just appears out of nowhere, slides in from the right… whereas I think you’re trying to convey a cameramovement? Imo it doesn’t come through.
The whiteness also makes the following fade really difficult to see. The two scenes, him having hit the box, and him jumping on the box, are very similar… he’s just a bit smaller in the second scene. I thought my player had skipped some frames at first. I suggest framing the two shots differently so it’s clear we’re dealing with a cameracut. It’s not clear as it is now.
It’s not super clear that he hits his knee when he jumps either. I get it, and, well, I think it translates fairly well, but if this is a kidscommercial you’re not dealing with the most attentive audience. It’s not a critical problem, just… something to keep an eye out for. I think you’ll have people watching him do that, and ask why he fell from the box.
The final logomovement so you see it from the top has, imo, an awkward cameramovement. It rotates to the right, then counterrotates to the left. It looks unintentional… a more smooth animation is required there.
Then there’s the story itself. It’s kinda… what’s he doing? Why hit the box? I guess he’s angry… should we be angry at the logo as well? There’s no easy fix for that, except designing your next animation with more of a purpose.
As for the animation itself, the jump at first has an odd curve to it. Like he changes his speed midair. He also makes a bit of an odd babykick thing, that I can’t quite explain.
As he jumps on the box, try to freezeframe as his leg is upwards. His balance there is really odd. His body should compensate for standing on one leg. The result is a lack of balance that I think can be done better.
Apart from those points the animation is… decent. In the sense that the story you’re conveying comes across more or less intact. It has an overall underwater feel to it that is reasonably typical of early animations, but it’s not too horrible at all. The underwatery look comes from your lack of held poses, ie. your character is basically always in motion. Especially for cartoon stuff you can really help your storytelling by having strong poses… if you want to learn more about that, to further your cartoon-animation skills and such, there’s a terrific book called “The Animator’s Survival Kit”, by Richard Williams. It is absolutely chockfull of terrific tips and thoughts.
But of course you can ignore all of this if I for some reason don’t comply with the kind of person that’s allowed to comment on your stuff.
:fair enough. i agree on some of those points. it was my first animation. 2 years old. take a look at the human animation on th web link. there is no story or purpose for his action. It’s a demonstration of human movements.
cheers.
Good to see you finally posting some decent work, after all those naff drawings!!! JOKE.
I really like the crisp style, and the character design is unique and well produced. Considering this was your first proper character animation, it is brilliant, and pulled off with a touch of pizazz. Ok its not Pixar standards, but everyone knows that, and its unfair to judge it against that sort of professionalism.
DO MORE YOU LAZY GET !!!
PS the new layout for your site will be better me thinks.
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