I think they’d translate pretty well pretty much any application. The cluelessness transcends application boundaries in this instance;)
Worst Comments 2
SpiderPig
#943
It looks like “king of Light-wave” is getting some fans lol.
As for him making some video tuts, that would make me curl up and die, he did actually make some print out fact sheets about lightwave for me like hot keys and do’s and dont’s but i dont have them anymore :(.
If he did make a video tut it should be like those lightwave training videos where that guy is sitting in front of a computer and it keeps flipping between that and sreen capture “desktop images” i think.
Only because we had thous DVDs in the studio and when ever he hit a problem he would sit and watch them but he couldn’t take what was in the DVD and put it in a different context. For example we where doing some work with particles and i wanted the particles that sprayed out of a emitter to collide with an object and then change. I knew it was possible and was just struggling to find where the settings where hidden :P.
“Do you no how to setup a particle collision/deflection and then set it to trigger a new generation of particles”
“?..”
Go’s and gets out the particles DVD “interestingly it was for an old version 7 or 8 but still had cling film rapper on it LOL”
“Any luck yet”
“No, it doesnt have anything about what you want, i don’t think light wave can do it”
“It can its simple stuff, i just need to see something to find my feet”
anyways i got the DVD off him, after he had watched the whole “Particles DVD” and failed to find anything to do with particles :hmm:. It took me about ten minutes to find the bits i needed.
The DVD used a cow as a deflector object for some reason and this had some how confused “king of light wave”
"here it is, they have set the cow to deflect the particles"
“So we need to hide some cow’s inside the wall, to get the particles to bonce of it then?”
“LOL No, we need to tell the wall to deflect the particles in the same way the cow dos, just follow the example in the DVD but instead of using the cow object use our wall object”
“don’t you think we should do what it says in the DVD?”
[b]"…? No."
[/b]I was working on an animation for an yacht company that wanted an animation to put in powerpoint “FFS” it needed an underwater scene that would show the hull of the boat, it was originally done by the king of light wave but, he could not make it look like it was underwater and the clients had complained so it was given to me.
[color=Red]“Light wave cant render underwater, i cant find any settings that work”
To get it to look like it was under water i had set up god rays, fog and DOF as well as faking some caustics using a light with a projection map on the side of the boat so it looked like the waves on the surface where casting shimmers on its hull. as well as giving the sea an actual MOVING sea texture LOL.
I decided to do a breakout of the render as some of the features i was using could potentially be destructive if the settings where out like the DOF, God rays and fog. I set up some render passes and after working out how light wave worked, “Flare to Alpha” was very well hidden as well as all the output options for render passes that one would assume would be in the render options? I eventually set up all the computers on Friday night to render out the different passes so that i could composit them on Monday in AE,
On Monday i was the last in and everyone was looking at me.
“Whats up?”
The king of Lightwave:
“Its all ****** up, not one of the renders looks any better than the ones i did. You’ve wasted a weeks work.”
he had obviously loaded the rendered sequence in QT and played back just the separate passes “like i showed him”.
“No dude its fine there all the different passes, I need to do some stuff in AE before it will look good”
“I don’t see how, you can only really do some basic colour corrections in AE you need a lot more than that”
“it will be fine Trust Me”
Anyway i started com-positing the render passes and layers in AE but while i did the “King of Lightwave” was out to get me after he got the boss involved before i arrived.
[/color]“Look these renders don’t have anything on them they are just white what use is that he is just wasting time, i can do better than this”
“that’s a render PASS it contains ONLY the god rays for the animation, you cant see them because you have them on a WHITE background and the RAYS are WHITE”
He was trying to show me up in front of the boss and i was getting very annoyed.
He loads up the Diffuse pass for the boat hull:
“Look there all the same its just a block of white and there all the same every frame is the same look i could have done this in photo shop, why waste all weekend rendering this out?”
“they all look similar due to the fact that you have chosen two frames that are next to each other and so look ALMOST identical!”
“I would have just moved it in photoshop then the difference is so small you can barely notice its such a waste of time”
“So you would hand animate all 1200 frames in photoshop to save TIME?”
“No, i would render out every 50th frame or something so that you can just move the image i little and it would still look OK”
“?..”
to quickly show them what i was doing i did a buety pass in photoshop so they could see the shape of the hull.
“That looks sh1t, mine was better than that. I told you it would be, Lightwave cant render underwater!.”
“No!. that’s only the diffuse and RGB I still need to add the other passes”
While they watched i slowly built up the image as i added more and more passes it started to look like it was underwater, i showed them that you could control each light and have much more control over the image i eventually finished and the king of lightwaves only comment was.
“thats all great but its going to take ages to do all those frames like that in photoshop!”
We had a load of photos for a brochure that “King of lightwave” had taken, but at some point he had switched the camera light setting to “Strip light” so that half the photos where yellow and did not match the other half, the boss had said that we needed to colour correct about 2000 images to match the others already in the brochure.
“That should only take ten minutes I’ll do it”
“Ten minutes! LOL it should barley take you two”
“OK… then but there is a lot of images”
“You do half and i will do the other half here is a list of things you need to do to get the colours to match”
he gave me a list of different actions that he had done to match the colour. I set up a droplet in photoshop and dragged my folder onto it and went to the toilet, when i came back “King of lightwave” and some other work colleagues where huddled around the monitor like cavemen who have never seen fire.
“Dude whats up, anything wrong?”
“Somehow your computer is doing your work, it must have been able to tell what you were doing? Macs are good like that!”
“Uh…?”
“Did you do anything to get it to do that?”
“Yea i set up a droplet to do all the things in the list! that’s what its doing now”
“Droplet whats that?”
“Its a photoshop script that you set to be an icon on your desktop so its easier to use”
“whats a photoshop script? you reprogrammed photoshop!”
“yea i call it sky-net!”
odd looks from my co workers :curious:
“No you just record your actions and play it back i thought thats what you where doing?”
“No i was just going down the list on each image”
“but i thought you said it would only take you two minutes?”
“yea, per image”
at this point i realised he was planning to do all 2000 images by hand at two minutes each.
for a total of 4 days work each LOL.
Srek
#945
> “So we need to hide some cow’s inside the wall, to get the particles to bonce of it then?”
This will become a classic
Thanks for sharing
Cheers
Björn
kelgy
#946
**nice description.
I think the makers of Lightwave need to send some people to have a chat with the King.
Bmac
#947
Wow, this stuff has had me really cracking up (meanwhile, my family probably wonders why I keep laughing). The “King of Lightwave” should become a comic.
Thank you SpiderPig!
DarthWayne
#948
Never mind a comic! This is sitcom material. I’ve not laughed so much in years.
Wayne…
Segvoia
#949
he gave me a list of different actions that he had done to match the colour. I set up a droplet in photoshop and dragged my folder onto it and went to the toilet, when i came back “King of lightwave” and some other work colleagues where huddled around the monitor like cavemen who have never seen fire.
“Dude whats up, anything wrong?”
“Somehow your computer is doing your work, it must have been able to tell what you were doing? Macs are good like that!”
BWAHAHAHA!!!
system
#950
Who is this King Of Lightwave? He should be hung! :buttrock:
Lightwave cant ‘UVMAP’ rofl:applause:
mummey
#951
No, he needs to live, else history will repeat itself and another “King of Lightwave” will be born.
Perhaps the new one would be “King of Houdini” and try to treat it like 3dsmax. 
japetus
#952
“So we need to hide some cow’s inside the wall, to get the particles to bonce of it then?”
AAAHAHAHAHAHA This just made my weekend. I love the King of Lightwave! I’d like to spend a day just hearing him spout garbage…i would die laughing
PorkpieSamurai
#953
Spiderpig thanks for sharing! Ive been re-reading your posts all week.
My own wacky experience happened a few years ago when I was still teaching myself 3d and compositing. I got hired by a local film maker as a character modeler for film set in world war 2 and the initial meetings made it sound like it was going to be quite ambitious.
Just before filming started the production manager and the director told me because of limited budget myself and another cg artist would be handeling all 90 full cg and intergrated shots and that they would get us all hardware and software that we needed.
Should have seen the trainwreck a mile away at that point but being the ambitious budding cg artist that I was I agreed to be apart of the ‘team’ and wrote a list of hardware/software that they would need to purchase for us to create the work.
The production manager phoned me up a few weeks later trying to hack down the list of stuff we needed to the bare essentials including ditching the compositing program.
I tried to explain to him how that we render work out in passes and composite them together to create the final image but he just got mad and said ’ Maybe thats how they do it in America but in Australia thats not the way its done.’
( Gobsmacked)
He then went on to explain how he had been in the industry for 15 years and had never heard of Aussie artists using compositing and insisted we just render everything out of maya as a ‘TGA’ sequence and give it to the editors.
Things went from bad to worse from that point and though I learnt a lot on that job I must have aged 10 years in 6 months.
DaddyMack
#954
aaah SpiderPig… You words are like music to all of us who have endured our ‘higher ups’… King of Lightwave and his ways are so universal he has the potential to be a global phenomenon and I get the feeling that we’re only just scratching the surface with this guy atm. :bowdown: Thanks for cracking me up soo many times already
TerribleOne
#955
I have to imagine everyday something new and retarded would happen with the king of lightwave.
stroggtank
#958
Man this thread is just so funny (sad too hehe)
- This happened to me a few months ago, when my boss was talking to me
“How long is it gonna take to render?”
“About two nights with three computers working”
“Have you tried to render it in Premiere?”
“premiere?.. that´s another program, this is 3D stuff…”
“yeap, but premiere can render in real time… you should try to export the 3D file to premiere and render it in real time”
He also suggested to buy an AVID system to render all the 3D sequences…
- The first day I switched to Maya from another 3D app, my boss asked:
“So… have you installed Maya already?”
“yeap, but…”
“Does it look more real?”
“more real? what?”
“the dolls”
“WHAT? what fricking dolls???”
“does maya makes the dolls look more real? does it render in RealTime?”
fortunately, my “boss” is no longer in my office…
jigu
#959
haha…king of lightwave is fun to read…
There should be comic… “adventures of king of lightwave”.
erilaz
#960
Oh dear.
I’d love to see the magical editor than can pull together THAT little scenario.:surprised