Worst Comments 2

#902

SpiderPig… You are going to heaven!

Seriously, can’t you get another job in another company?! Or are you actually doing research to write a funny book?! If you are, you will get rich in notime and then you can quit that job :slight_smile:

#903

This reminds me of the time that a customer handed me a black and white photo and wanted me to retouch it and print it in color. I then tried to tell them that I cant make a B&W photo into a color photo. They then became angry and yelled at my boss and eventually left. Good times.

#904

Well, I’ve already ranted in another thread about educational publishing, so I won;t do that here, but some of SpiderPig’s JPEG and printing woes rememind of some loveley moments I’ve had.

My boss was trying to print a cover I had made for a book we were doing and it was a PDF. He was obsesse with printing it on a specific sheet to save a couple of cents or something. Well, I must have redone that cover 10 times. I kept hearing that it still isn’t fitting on the page. It’s coming out too small. “Try making a TIFF of the spread and place it on another spread and reduce it by 103%.” Needless to say, Print to Fit Page was used in Acrobat! Oy…

JPEGs: Every time we ask a client for a photo of their staff or a logo, it’s low res. Every time. They just grab it off their site. I mean, they had to have hi res for their letterhead at least. Where’s that?. “Well, just do the best you can with it. I can’t ask ‘the guy’ for the art back.”

I probably have more, but I’m trying to cut down on the Night Terrors, so I’ve locked a lot out!

#905

But then it’s not a 5 % reduction!

This reminds me of the time that a customer handed me a black and white photo and wanted me to retouch it and print it in color. I then tried to tell them that I cant make a B&W photo into a color photo. They then became angry and yelled at my boss and eventually left. Good times.

Sure you can turn a black and white photo into a color one! They did it all the time back before color film became useable. :wink:

#906

If he’s using Layout, then what it means is that he scaled it up to 105%, then returned it to 100%. He reduced the 5% he originally added. :stuck_out_tongue:

And yes, you’re right, what he said doesn’t quite make literal sense. That’s not what he meant, though.

#907

haha don’t be so literal! you know what i meant…

the same can apply to other things like brightness/contrast - up by 5, down by 5 - you’re back where you started but the client thinks it looks better. that was the gist anyway… :slight_smile:

replace % with pixels then… :slight_smile:

#908

But it’s fun to pick nits! :wink:

But yeah, that does work quite well at times.

#909

^^^ you are called Captain Obvious!

#910

One does what one must to live to one’s handle! :wink:

#911

that is not obvious at all CaptainObvious :surprised

this is just gold…

#912

At [company that dare not speak it’s name] we hired a new guy, just out of college, to do technical illustrations.

His first week he comes to me and says “I really should be doing your job. I’ve had 3D training. I’m actually qualified to do what you’re doing.”

Not that I’m any good at supportive feedback anyway, but I really don’t know what an appropriate response to something like that would be.

He wasn’t inherently evil like some people I worked with but he had an odd predisposition to blurt out things one normally wouldn’t say in a standard office environment, such as describing himself as “the other white meat” or, upon the mention that two co-workers were away at a meeting, hinting that they might really be screwing each other.

#913

sounds like normal office banter where I come from…:shrug:

#914

Some dam good funny storys on here!

The other week i had a meeting with a bunch of clients for a website that our small business is making for them. anyways i clicked on the index html file and opened it to show them all on the screen what there website looks like. They all looked at it for a while and then

The principal goes i like it… except them bars and such on top will not be there though will they?

I turn… look at him and say That is the web browser that lets you view the website…

The principal goes Oh ok…

i start laughing in my head

#915

Love the stories Spiderpig. I think you should write a book. I love when you talk about “The King Of Lightwave” Do you have anymore stories about him, I could read that stuff all day. I love hearing about people that think they are the shit, but are unable to do the simplest tasks.

#916

Glad you can find the funny side, Although im finding it a releaf to talk about it.

As for the “King of Lightwave” LOL there is loads that he did/said but i cant remember the exsact wording so i dont think it fits in this thread, although i can paraphraze “i think thats the word”

After showing the “King of Lightwave” how to UVMap we started to working on an Arch Viz, i made him some tiling carpet textures with Bump and Spec maps. 3 carpets for a total of 9 maps, the next thing he said was:
“Dude some of these carpets are black and white, all the carpets are cream?”
He had never seen a Bump or Spec map before…
[color=RoyalBlue]“Thats youre Bump and Spec map, just applie them to the Bump and Spec channels in youre surface editor”
[color=Red]“What do you mean Channels? Il just use the coloured image we know THAT works!”
[/color][/color][b]"!"

[/b]In the same job we where doing a light setup for the inside of the house, and he was trying to get the light to shine from a lamp in a percific way to meet the job requirments what we needed was light from a lamp to light the room but the mogority to shine upwards like it does.[color=Red]
“Lightwave wont let me make a lamp, it wont work it just casts shadows”
[color=RoyalBlue]“you need two lights one to cast the shadows and shine upwards and one set to exsclude the lampshade and light the room”
[color=Red]“Two lights! do you have any idea how much longer that will take to render?”
[/color][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]He seemed to think that you should light a room as it is phisicaly lit ie if it was a sunny day outside and the lights where of then he would have no lights inside the room and only one light in the entire scean “for the sun”. to make things worst he wouldnt even use radiosity as it:
[color=Red]“Radiosity is a filter that makes stuff look like a photo but all it really does is put some noise over the top of the image”
[color=#fffffe]I evently got the chance to do the light setup properly adding area lights to fake a radiosity soloution and piont lights for the lightbulbs “although now i think lightwave has suface lights?” anyway it looked good and i got it to render in a decent time after turning of all the unwanted stuff that he had turned on like caustics even though we had no glass.

I used to call the shadows on his renders “Marker pen shadows” due to the fact that everything that was not in direct light was compleatly black and the shadows looked like they had been drawn with a marker pen. the worst thing was that he though this looked good.
[color=Red]“Its what a CG image looks like if you want a photorealistic image then you take a photo, its all about style this is what the client wants”
“Has the client seen anything better than that?”

I remember i quote now it was about the lamp shade :slight_smile:
“Try turning on translucancy that will get the effect your after”
“it prononced transparancy and i have tryed that and it didnt work :P”
“?..”

A later job involed us doing some particals stuff in lightwave we had to show heat traveling down some pipes, I said it would be best to use the hypervoxels and create a type of pulsating wave, he said"
“Ive tryed the particals in lightwave they just go nuts there unusable, i think we should animate some arrows traveling around instead”
Thinking that arrows might work just as well although not as cool i relented and stated that:
“Ok it shouldnt take to long il have it done tomorow”
“Dude thats going take take at least three days to do all thouse pipes”
“What, Why, you still have the paths that were used to model the pipes dont you”
“Yea So”
at this piont i realised that he was going to hand animate the intire maze of pipes rather than just animate along a path.

When i was strugling to animate the freak of a rig that the king of lightwave had made he said:
“I would use morphs to do the walking you only need the 4 basic posses and lightwave should do the rest”
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][color=RoyalBlue]
[/color][color=RoyalBlue]I did a render of a chrome object for a broucher that look 100 times better than what they where doing. I showed him the render and he was at first gobsmacked,
the thing that had him so gobsmacked was the fact the the crome looked like chrome.[/color][color=RoyalBlue]
[color=Red]“What setting are you using for it to render like that”
[/color][/color]showed him the settings plus the reflection map[color=RoyalBlue]
[/color][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]“Reflection map? all i do is set it to reflective and put some cubes in the scaen for it to reflect”
[/color][/color][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]in the end although they looked 100 times better than what had been done the boss said[/color][/color][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]
“just render them how they where rendered they all need to look the same, and if youre not here we still need to be able to do the job so stick to the way its allways been done”
[/color][/color][/color][/color]

#917

*** :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

#918

I think King of Lightwave should be turned into a movie, :smiley:

#919

Haha the king of lightwave ones are priceless!

#920

MORE “king of lightwave” PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE!

made my morning :slight_smile:

#921

2nd year, First 3D class in University of Lethbridge of New Media Program:

Prof: As a 3d artist you have to observe natural phenomenon.Im going to show you a couple of photographs… This is a frenesl effect, reflection increases as you get close to the side of it…this is an area light… soft shadows… these are a couple of things that are impossible in 3D…

Me: How do you animate an object switching links between objects?

Prof: You cant.

Next day,
Me: I found it, its a list constraint
Prof: O …( turns away to “help” another student)

Prof: How did you animate that glow.
Me: I wired it to my light multiplier
Prof: Wow

Me in an email to my University.

" Im not doing my internship for free. I got a job at Bioware, I’m going just fill the form out as it was an internship"

Instant Message session months later

Friend: Hey dude “Prof” hooked you up with an Internship at Bioware?
ME: **** no, I got hired.
Friend: Dude he’s telling students he hooked you up…

Prof: Dont model with edge loops.

Prof: This lamp has facets, no material, and no bulb…20/20…this guitar is solid…no strings… 20/20… Uh …this AUDI TT beautiful highlights, good camera, bounce lighting is great, good shadows. uhh theirs some…facets…16/20…(My audi was close to photoreal…it looked like the car add I used refrence)

Me: What the ****

Prof: Uh Andrew come and see me, I think that mark is wrong…
Me: K

I get the mark back and its 17/20 now.

This prof has tenure and wasn’t even close to qualified for his job. Lucky for gnomon.