Worst Comments 2

#882

Sorry for the Silly Name “SpiderPig” i didnt want to us my real name as i have friends who are from the studio i mentention above.

Remembering i was a student at the time, my first few days at the studio where dire to say the least, i am a 3dMax user, and they used lightwave. I mention this at the interview and they siad that they would show me lightwave.

anyways one of the guys who was a self proclaimed “king of lightwave”, was ment to show me the ropes the first thing i said was “King of lightwave, dont you mean Lightwave Legend” he just looked at me as if i had two heads. This so called king was able to distill me with loads of usfull information about lightwave like.
[color=Red]“if something in lightwave is textured you cant animate it!, unless its procedural”.
this was due to the fact that they textered images using the projection maping so that when it moved :), youknow what happened.
I said that [color=RoyalBlue]“Why dont you just UVMap them on, thats what i would do in Max?”.
[color=Red][color=#fffffe]He then got annoyed and said that “lightwave only costs £600 unlike max and you cant exspect it to do everything max can do”
[color=RoyalBlue]“Im pretty sure lightwave has UVMapping its not exsactly a small player”
[color=Red]“I think it does but its brocken or needs a plugin or somthing”
“Whys That?”
“It wont work!, just do it like this.”
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=#fffffe]Not knowing lightwave i just bit my toung and waited as he just started talking sh1t.
[color=Red]“Lightwave is not very good with texteres i cant even find a good brick texture or anything like that,”
[color=RoyalBlue]“What do you meen, why dont you make some tiling textures in photoshop”
[color=Red]“What are you talking about this IS 3D not 2D”
[color=RoyalBlue]"…?"
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=#fffffe][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=#fffffe][color=Red]“When you want to render make sure you set it to a quicktime file or it will render each frame of the animation out sepratly and its then unusable as it fills youre desktop”.
[color=#fffffe]at this piont i stopped taking notes and started correcting him.
[color=RoyalBlue]“what i do in max is render out every frame, it allows you to avoid chrashes and render on multple computers, you can also output Each Render pass and Render layer ,and composit in AE to gain more controle over the finnished animation”.
[color=Red]“What do you mean Composite?, so in max you have to stick all the passes together before you can even see the animation LOL”
[color=#fffffe]i just gave up then and ignored him.
I spent a few days learning lightwave in my spare time when everyone had gone home “the boss liked me for that”.
Evently i was up to scratch on lightwave enough so that i could help this guy out, only for him to shuv it in my face, he was threatend by what i was showing him and was adament that the way he knew was the best way to work. He realized that i knew what I was talking about when I uvmapped an object and animated it.
[color=Red]“How did you get the texture to destort when it bends?”
[color=#fffffe]Evently the boss got involed after i mentioned that we should render to frames after a render crashed two nights on the trot leaving us with nothing.
[color=Red]“So what do you mean render to frames wont that just give us a slide show?”
[color=#fffffe]The “king of Lightwave” said that “its a bad idea, i cant gareuntee that its gona work anyways and how can we be sure the computer puts them back in the same order?”
At this point i had given up trying to argue with them as it was going nowhere fast so i said [b]“trust me for gods sake it will work!”

[/b][color=#fffffe]Needles to say it did and from then on we rendered to frames, They did evently get to grips with uv mapping although when i took a week off they all went back to there old ways only for it all to go to sh1t, and they blamed it on the fact that [color=Red]“Lightwave cant UVMap”[color=#fffffe] GOD DAMMIT![/color][/color]
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color]
I could go on for ever…
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color]

#883

WOW! Is this for real?!

I cannot consider myself as good as the “king of Lightwave”, but I use Lightwave for over 14 years and I knew all that by then! So those things worked in version 3.5 just as they do today (OK, no UV Maps then, but that’s the only thing!)

PS: The one when he has doubts that the computer would put the frames back in the same order is awesome!

#884

…this was due to the fact that they textered images using the projection maping so that when it moved , youknow what happened.

LOL… classic :wink:

#885

SpiderPig, i’m surprised you managed to work there for that long without imploding. :smiley: Dear god, the line about putting the frames back together was crazy, as well as rendering to the desktop. It’s almost like you were in a sitcom!

#886

Thanks for sharing SpiderPig. That was awesome funny to read! Sorry you had such a hard time but sounds like you’ll land on your feet again.

#887

LOL glad you found the funny side of my troubles.

After righting all that i was still remembering other stuff that got said before i left.
got a bit of course while righting this one might come back and clean it up later sry.

The boss comes in one day with a proper cheshire smile on his face, saying that he had got some really good work for us to do, he explained that it was for a grey water bathroom system that used waste bath water to flush the loo. We were all ears and happy for so “interesting/different” work. When he came around to telling me what i was to do it all went pair shaped:
Cant remember exactly his words but along these lines:
“We need to see the bath fill with water, splashes like you get and then empty with a vortex, we also want a toilet to flush and then see it fill up in the system with grey water.”
“Umm…”
“Oh and a person in the bath in a swimsuit to get out and flush the loo”
“We do not have a water simulation plug-in for LW and i have not animated a character before”
“Water Simulation? i thought lightwave could render water. And as for the character animation, we have a few weeks so you have plenty of time to learn, we only need her to stand up walk a bit and flush the loo”
“We need a Water Simulation program as lightwave will need something to render, I think real-flow or one of the other similar apps will do the job.”
“How much will that cost”
“Lots £3, £4 K, but i am not sure about the Mac compatibility”
“LOL that is not happening, We do not want film quality stuff just a realistic representation of water, see what you can get lightwave to do.”
“OK… What about the character we have not even got any models or rigs”
“Il get someone else to do that you just concentrate on the water and on the animation”
After experimenting with lightwaves hypervoxels for a few days i was unable to get anything that i was happy with let alone the boss, But luckily i went on spin-quad and found a tut on how to use the new fluids found in blender in lightwave. A few days later we had the start of a good water animation complete with flushing loo.

Trouble started when i told him i downloaded a new program to do it.
“WHAT I THOUGHT?, YOU CANT!, This is a commercial job you cant use illegal software for it” he then started parading up and down the office talking about shopping me in to the police for piracy?
“I said use lightwave for the water, I did didn’t I. If we get caught its all on you i had no idea.”
He was genuinely terrified that any moment some gunned police would raid the office and drag us all to Guantanmo Bay.
I explained Open-source to him and after some weird comments like:
“I thought that all ownloaded programes where illegal,exsept updates?”
“I bet someone will buy it then you will have to start to pay” and,
“How come some of there artwork is better than ours?”
We started talking about the character animation.
He sent me the model that some one had allegedly made and at first i thought it was a joke:
“I sent you the model what do you think”
“LOL that is just a Poser model, very funny”
Having seen one of the guys in the office spend a week in lightwave faffing around with something i assumed he was actually doing something.
"No that is it, What is wrong with that?
“…?”
Loading the model up in lightwave it was clear that all that had been done was to take a poser 4 model and import it into lightwave and place bones where anatomical bones are ie, it had rib bones to stop the chest from following the arm when they where lifted. and the legs effected each other when they moved. Worst still was the fact that none of the bones where parented properly and there was no IK or anything else for that matter.
“I cant animate with this its totally rubbish”
“Let me go find ******* “King of Lightwave””
the king of Lightwave was called into the office and i could tell that he had formulated a plan.
“Lightwave isn’t meant for character animation, modelling you cant expect me to model a human its impossible”
The reason that he thought it would be impossible to model a human in lightwave was that the only way he knew how to model in lightwave was to spline-patch, I had shown him how to sub surface model using Tab in modeller but he just wouldn’t listen.
“That character you sent me is unusable there is not a chance i can animate that, you just need to read a few tuts online and follow instructions”
“You have only used lightwave for a few months i have used lightwave for 5 years i know what it can and it cant do, I have read the whole manual how much did you read?”.
In the end it came down to a stand-off between me and king of lightwave, that ended in him remodelling the character and rigging it properly only for him to send me a few days later a model that had a Michelin-Man with boobs body and the head and hands of the poser gal stuck on it.

In the end the boss said.
“All i want is a simple realistic human get out the bath towel off and flush the loo, Why is this so difficult”
to this i replayed in a panic and unable to look at the funny side, at the time.
“Towel off, OMG we need cloth dynamics too, who is doing this?.”
LOL i can laugh now but at the time i got so stressed, trying to do things that i had no chance in doing, with a boss that had no idea his demands where so harsh.

To be honest it did get done in the end, but we had to sack off the girl in the tub and the water looked poo due to the guy who rendered it did not turn on refractions.
“Refractions, there just reflections that take longer to render right?”

So at least i can laugh now. LOL

#888

Awesome again, thanks for sharing SpiderPig :slight_smile:

#889

That says it all right there.

Everyone wants to ride in a rolls but will only pay for a scateboard,… second hand one,… older model because it doesnt have to go fast, just 250 mph :D.

eek
Chris

#890

omg SpiderPig my face turned red while reading your posts, i don’t now how you survived, if something like that had hapenned to me i would be in a mental institution or in prison.
i wanna know who the infamous “king of lightwave” is

**stab stab stab :twisted:

#891

I had one when i was on work placement at a nuclear plants graphics department :).

I was working on some safety posters for around the reactor and surrounding complex that warned about the risk of loud noise.

I had been told by the head of health and safety of the sight to create posters demoing what a load noise was and showing how loud that noise was i.e. i had a nematic drill with a 10 by it, with a scale of 0 to 10. it all looked good and was due to go to print until she came running in.

“I have just been on the net and on an American web-sight its amazing, when you click on the different objects like a car or fog horn, it plays the sound at the right level for that object, do you think we could do something like that with the poster?”

Remember this is the person in-charge of health and safety at a nuclear test facility.

#892

These stories are a goldmine.:buttrock:

#893

Spiderpig>I really feel for you. I have no idea how you survived, and like others have said, if that were me…well…I’d likely lose my temper (I hardly have any in the first place :D). You are a testament to all those who have worked in CG and have had to put up with absolute crap from people.

MCHammond>You weren’t a guest star in the Simpsons, by any chance, were you? Health and safety…sounds rather familiar. Just don’t reach for the electric cables like Grimey did!

#894

a favourite of mine, happens quite often:

[i]“can you make it whiter, but add more black. or just more of a darker colour, but lighter overall. at the moment it’s just too dark but it has too much white.”.

[/i]- me, long coffee break

less common but equally amusing:

“can you make it slightly taller?”

  • me, scale up 5%

“a bit less tall?”

  • me, scale down 5%

[i]“that’s perfect!”

[/i]- me, :rolleyes:

and one that i’ve had a couple of times in the past:

[i]“we need to make sure the jpeg image filesize is 8mb for the printers - the one you sent is only 6mb so not high enough quality”

[/i]- me, “well, it’s uncompressed but still only comes to 6mb - rest assured the quality is maximum and the resolution is set for printing at A3 as agreed…”

[i]“well it’s not high enough quality if it’s only 6mb. send it over at higher quality please”.

[/i]- me, upscale jpeg until 8mb and resend.

[i]“that’s much better quality! thanks.”

[/i]- me, :hmm:

#895

I really shouldn’t keep commenting on all the stories, but that jpeg one made me laugh.

#896

alexy, i’m sad to say this happens to me on almost a daily basis :banghead:

#897

So, let’s see here… You start at 100 %. Then you scale it up by 5 %, bringing it to 105 %. Then you scale it down by 5 %, bringing it to 105 * 0.95 = 99.75 %, which is actually slightly shorter.

:wink:

[/i]- me, upscale jpeg until 8mb and resend.

[i]“that’s much better quality! thanks.”

That just makes me depressed :frowning:

#898

Or… the more likely scenario is he typed in 105%, then typed in 100%. :rolleyes:

#899

Sry I really could go on for ever.

I was working on some box artwork for some Footballs it was all looking good and the nets where all drawn up ready to be emailed to china. I sent the PDF to the boss who said he would check them before he sent them, all was well till he walked in and tossed me a small paper box that had my artwork on but was no bigger than a tennis ball.
“Good job i checked that, we might have had to start selling mini footballs. You have got the scale wrong look its tiny”.
The second i saw it i knew what he had done, he printed the net to A4 with “scale to fit media” turned on. God Dam it.

I was doing some print work so was working in CMYK with print safe colours turned on.
the boss sent me some artwork that he wanted me to add to the file, I converted it to CMYK as it was in RGB only for him to say.
“We don’t use CMYK, it looks bland and you loose some colour plus it increases file size.”

The boss got hammered by a client for the colours being out on a brochure we did for them so he bought a set of Pan-tone charts, He wanted to make an example of someone so he got the first piece of printout that came out of the crappy colour laser and started exsaming it.
“This is all wrong that’s meant to be Pan-tone *** and thats meant to be Pan-tone ***, You need to get this right its basic stuff.”
needles to say he was very annoyed when i told him that our printer was unable to print out pan-tone colours that would match his chart.

We got some vector artwork in that they wanted editing, I wasnt doing it but the person who was edited it in photoshop and sent them back a jpeg. Obviosly confusion ensued and it came clear to me that this guy had no idea what the difrence between vector artwork and raster artwork was, when questioned he told me this:
"Vector artwork is made of block colours and sharp edges like computer graphics but raster artwork is soft and has gradients like airbush work.
At least he didnt say raster artwork is about weed.

I got asked to do a quote for time for a Arch viz of a housing estate that was to done to the same standared as the one in my portfilio but it had to have pacific trees from the site in it. to get planning permission they could not kill some of the trees so they wanted to show that they where all still going to be there. Anyways i did the quote itemised for everything from modeling, texturing through to photoshoping and rendering. I gave him the list with the time it would take for the whole project in man hours with and without the trees moddeled.
“Thats wrong it wont take you that long, It should only take you 5 days”
[color=RoyalBlue]“Umm 5 days thats ridiculase when does it need to be finnished”
[color=Red]“Well i told the guy i could have it by friday so this time next week”
“Even if it only takes 5 days we still cant do it by then, mondays a bank holiday”
[/color][/color][color=RoyalBlue]at this piont he just looked at my sheet, going down the list till he found somthing he could pull me on.[/color][color=RoyalBlue]
[color=Red]“Whats this for, why is it going to take you two minutes per tree they have already got clipping parths, you cant waste time like this”
“Each tree in the sceane will have to be scaled, colour corrected positioned and shadowed in photoshop, it says in the brief that it backs onto a forest and that they want to see it.”
“Look it needs to be done by friday so you will have to work faster than this”
[color=RoyalBlue]“We could get it done by reducing the level of quality”
“No, the client wants the same as in youre portfilo”
“Well we could do fewer houses that would allow use to finnish sooner”
[color=Red]“What, No you cant do half a job it dosent work like that!”
“well I dont know what we can do to get it done in time,Therse not a chance we can finnish it by friday”
“You cant just not do a job, So you would just not do it?”
[color=RoyalBlue]“No i would do it but i would have to comprimse on somthing”
[color=Red]“You cant compromise like that you need to do it properly Dont take shortcuts.”
[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]In the end it took two weeks about an hour more than i quoted.[/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][/color][b][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red][color=RoyalBlue][color=Red]

[/color][/color]
[/color][/color]

[/color][/b][/color]

#900

SpiderPig, I completely feel for you. I’ve had to deal with people like that, bosses that don’t understand the process, coworkers that think they’re the King of Maya/Max/Lightwave etc when they really don’t know anything so I know how frustrating that must have been!

#901

SpiderPig, I just wanted to tell you how much respect I have for you for not totally freaking out at these guys.

It’s one thing for someone to not understand the process, I’d be able to cope with that. I’m pretty sure I could also be cool with people thinking they need to tell me how to use certain pieces of software, even when they’re totally wrong and ignorant, but telling me that I can’t do my job right and without “shortcuts” is just wrong…

If I were you, I’d have kicked the person in the groin so hard his children’s children would have felt it…

Just had to get that off my chest, cheers!