That… is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. 
Worst Comments 2
alben
#622
I think i have a story to share. Well we’re a small studio and recently we’re doing an music video for a singer. My boss the “DIRECTOR” confirmed about 1 minute of CG (5 extra characters and 2 main characters) with the client without giving any brief or involved me or my other colleague that does 3d. So one night at around 7:30pm, he asked me to go to his office and tell me that, “tomorrow at 9:00am we want you to come along to setup tracker points for a shot for the MV. Oh and rememeber to bring whatever that you need.”
I was standing there amazed and thought to myself, you tell me at 7:30pm at night that i need to be on set to track at 9:00am tomorrow? And bring necessary supplies? hmm… where should i get them? most of the places are closed already.
switchblade327
#623
On the dangers of communal work space:
I must’ve pissed SOMEONE off because I wound up with the worst cubicle in the office for a while. Every person who walked in the studio’s front doors went right past me and my screen (at the time, most of us were in 2-4 person offices, which is how I still prefer to work). I protested the seat, insisting I wouldn’t get anything done with a steady flow of critics pouring by all the time, especially people walking in on works in progress. I lost.
So one day I’m blocking out a walk cycle. I’m MAYBE five minutes into it and I’m checking the rhythm of the pelvis moving up and down. Beyond the pelvis translation, this animation is pure skate-a-mation; nothing is moving; it’s a bouncing bind pose.
A designer returns from lunch and swings by when he sees my screen.
HIM: That’s cool but… it looks a little stiff.
ME: You’re kidding, right?
HIM: (confused) Ummm… no.
ME: Get out.
system
#624
an old boss of mine used to prank call pixar on a regular basis and leave messages with soundboards he found online.
somehow i dont think mr rogers asking them if they found his lost cat was as hilarious as he thougth it was…
enygma
#625
Here is a new soundboard for him to play with…
I don’t know if he will find it funny since those are clips taken from one of our local radio personalities doing voice caricatures of CBC’s Steve Armitage.
castroman
#626
These are all true stories, I kid you not.
Working as a designer for a web company some time ago I had to fight everyday with our programmer, he was a class act geek. computer geek to the bone. we would have hours of arguments about how a website should look(he worshipped jakob nielsen as his god).
One day my supervisor called me into her office and wanted to have a meeting. I said sure, when I came in they were both sitting there ready to go to battle. the geek with his notebook with pages filled of notes listed alphabetically. by the way the geek and my supervisor had been working together at a computer building company.
My supervisor tells me that I am being difficult and that we need to do things differently from now on. thereby giving the word to the geek. He then opens up a few websites(programmer websites that all pretty have the same layout.)
Listen, from now on we want your designs to be like this, logo always to the left and top, no bigger than this many pixels. I said ok. to the right you must leave space for a potential banner. I said hmmm. Directly under the logo you will set the menu in this many pixels, with only text allowed, no gif buttons. Also no menus horizontal menus. I said hmmm again a little annoyed.
Under the menu you will give room for more banners or the posibility to use info boxes. The content area will be this many pixels and must always be white and be situated to the right of the menu. At this point I didn’t say anything just sitting there and taking it all in.
Next to the content area you mest leave this much room for banners or other info boxes. They will be in this many pixels. Then he finishes it off saying:
Other than that you are totally free to do design what you want. After that he gave me a drawn layout showing me how all the layouts should be from now on(with pixel sizes drawn in)
Needless to say the company went out of business after a while. And I left the country shortly after so hopefully I will never see that guy again.
another funny moment, my supervisor calls me in saying that there something wrong with her memory stick, angry as hell. she has been trying to get it to work for at least 20 minutes, restarting the machine and so on. I looked at it for a while, then I discovered she put it in the ethernet port.
Same place, we have a very sophisticated copy/printer/scan/god knows what at work. damn thing is bigger than a truck(almost). Me being a designer with some hardware experience, basically just learning stuff cause everybody just calls me up to fix things. Anyhow my boss walks over to me after the copy machine has crashed. You know computers right? Yes I said, somewhat. Well why don’t you go in there and fix the copy machine so we don’t have to spend money on support. I tried to explain but he didn’t get it. Finally I just said, what if I break it? Yea your right he said, better call support.
Had a client who came in and wanted a retouch of an old picture. So we sat down and were about to scan it after which he said, well now what. Do I just hold the picture up to your monitor? Client or not, I laughed my ass off.
This happened some time ago, we were doing this animation for this new stadium that was going to hopefully get built. We were called in to do animation, sweeping around the stadium and close up shots of the public areas and the field itself.
The only info we had was a rough sketch made by an architect from perspective.
I was not involved in the client meeting, that was done at another office just involving a sales rep from our company and the client.
Anyhow after getting the job from my supervisor, I right away sat down browsing for images on how stadiums look like, some example images from diffrent areas, say like chairs and such. 2 hours later I had just finished my research and started my modeling on the chairs when my supervisor came in and asked me if I was finished. I just stared at him with a blank stare, thinking he was kidding. Yea didn’t I tell you, this is a rush job. We are not really getting very much paid for this job, our salesrep and the client are buddies so we need to hurry up and try finish this up today. I just leaned back still thinking he was kidding.
In my supervisors defence it must be said that we were a web development company that rarely did any 3d work.
In the end we just traced the architecture image with flash and faded it in while having a slight zoom into the picture. Client was happy.
system
#627
ok heres a recent one, happening to my friend
so a buddy of mine finds out theres a studio opening up about an hour away from him, since the one he was just working at let everyone go it sounds like a sweet deal. so he goes and checks it out, the guy has a studio space and 20 machines paid for and a straight to dvd gig ready to start. sounds good so far, heres the kicker.
turns out the guy doesn’t have any money to pay anyone and everyone is gonna work on commission, AND the commission is dependent on how good the dvd is gonna do.
the worst part is he’s actually considering it, he says to me “im gonna go and check it out if it seems flaky i’ll get out” i said “dude the guy ALREADY told you he isnt’ gonna pay you unless the dvd does well it’s ALREADY FLAKY” i guess after dealing with one flaky guy he still wants to get abused a bit more.
sad thing is theres prolly enough desperate artists out there willing to take the offer just to get a start
DDMan
#628
Not really CG related, or maybe it just that I’ve been spoiled by all the work I see on these forums, but it seems the college I currently attend hasn’t really picked up the idea of CG production, let alone teaching students something usefull.
I walked through the corridor of one of the many hallways the other day, and noticed some new posters of crappy 3D stuff on the wall. When I told the head of the CG departement that I was surprised that he decided to put some student work up there, he told me it was actually stuff some of the teachers made.
Think of really crappy, low budget, low poly, unoriginal images consisting mainly of spaceships orbiting planets while being accompanied by lensflares, and you can imagine the face I pulled…
JeroenDStout
#629
For school I did this project where in the last few days I had barely any sleep - so on the day of the presentation I was so tired I was in this waking sleep mood. Everybody really liked the project, but I really just wanted to get to bed and tried as best to thank for compliments. Everybody kept asking hard questions, but I anwered them whilst remembering how much I had to do the weekend oncoming. Which kind-of freaked me out, so I escaped to the bathroom to get some water in my face and decided to drink lots and lots of coke just to make sense for the rest of the day.
So some-one, whilst I was washing my hands, asked “Do you still notice compliments or do you, you know, just brush them off?”
I swear, as far as weeks after that I still felt bad about myself, even though I was so tired I could barely hold up a discussion.
Scheles
#630
“Too green? That’s impossible. All my scene has are a couple of yellow and blue lights.”
Carina
#632
I’m doing research in global illumination techniques and was sat at home working late one night, trying to fix some problems with a radiosity engine. So, fixed it, and for the first time in weeks had something concrete to look at (all you programmers out there will understand why I was happily punching my fist in the air and jigging on my chair). My fiance comes in, peeks at my screen over my shoulder, spots my very simply cornell box render, and goes “that’s all it does?”
You can literally hear his brain trying to make sense of how I’m two and a half years into my PhD and all I have to show for it is a box with a red and green wall.
–
As a side note, when I started my PhD my best friend asked me what I was going to research. Trying to think what level to put the explanation on (she sometimes uses a computer to check her email, that’s it), I eventually go “oh… computer graphics”. Her response? “Isn’t that a really small field to do a PhD in?”
tryl
#634
haha these are great
While working at a webdesign company I was given the task of copy and pasting a newspaper article into word so that a .doc file could be downloaded from the site by our new receptionist who was promoted to project manager when ours quit. I do it, upload it, move on. She comes at me fuming and says “ALISON! YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THIS, YOU CANT HAVE ALL OF THESE GREEN SQUIGGLY LINES EVERYWHERE ALL OVER THE PAGE!”
i got to explain to her that the green lines were words way of saying theres a grammatical mistake, and that removing the visibility on my computer, wouldnt work on anyone elses, and that I certainly wasnt about to misquote a newspaper review so that word didnt give me squiggly lines
…
During storms, the power goes out occasionally, powerlines get blown down etc, people actually have shown up to my boyfriends office, at the local power company, with guns demanding that the button be turned back on
Jolacap
#636
Just remembered another:
I was going down to pick up my Mom from her work because her car was in the shop.
So I’m waiting in the lobby for someone to get her and one of her co-workers
says to me - “Oh I remember you, your Emma’s son.”
“Yeah, I’m just here to pick her up”
“Are you going to college now?” she asks
“Yeah, I’m studying 3d animation”
She then gives me the -are you serious look- and says to me “what do you mean?..cartoons?”
I am not about to go into one of those explanations of what exactly 3d animation is (It’s hard
enough trying to explain it to my own parents) so I just agree with her and say “Yeah, sure.”
d_jnaneswar
#637
I was working freelance for a software company. The project was to deliver a fully rendered animation of a missile launching, travelling and then hitting the target.
In the first two weeks I submit models of airplane, ship and a missile launcher vehicle. The client checked it with blue prints and ordered detailed work which I did the next week. Then the next review was finished animation. So I did all the particles and rendered it and showed it to the head of the company (who was planning to create a PC game and wants to use these as intros to get some funding) and he says “Wow!! I though you only knew graphics. You know how to fly an airplane and drive a ship??”
I was puzzled…
He went on " You must be familiar with flying fighter aircraft. Your airplane is moving wonderfully. Can I learn flying airplanes in 3d?"
It took me 1 hour to explain that its animation and it doesnt have an actual engine and so on and had to show him some quick and dirty animation to prove it. It was hilarious. My freelance partner was laughing his belly out while the whole thing was happening.
This same fellow asked me to do another animation like this in 6 hours after I told him that its just animation. I told him that doing another missile, another aircraft and another ship and getting it finished will take another three weeks. He said, “why three weeks? You finished flying one. Just copy paste and change colours and shapes… Its not real flying right?”
Didnt know what to say.
DJ
MikeRhone
#638
I would love to add some here but I have many colleagues in these forums, and I don’t exactly have a tricky username. Risking all this I do have to add that I know of someone who purchased 50 licenses of Less usable Renderer B out of spite for Renderer A. Thats a hefty, scary chunk of cash just for spite.
siouxfire
#639
Did Renderer A kill his dog or something?
(And Mike, it cracks me up when you post - I hear Mentok’s voice everytime)