Worst Comments 2


#1

Hey hey, everybody!
Due to popular demand, the worst comments thread is back!

I can’t remember who started it originally, but it got killed during December last year, and it doesn’t look as if anybody else is going to restart it soon, so I thought I’ll have a stab at it.

For those who can’t remember the original thread, the idea is to post all the really silly and stupid stuff regarding CG you’ve heard.

Example: We were doing a job last year. The clients came in and changed some stuff, and asked how long we needed to make the changes. Upon hearing our answer (one day to do and two to render, I think) they went: “But it’s already rendered! Can’t you just tweak the render?”

My dad was once given a pic taken of the rear of a car, and got asked if he could flip the pic around so the clients could see the front.:surprised

And my favourate: clients asking us to make changes, we don’t change a single thing, they come back and go: “That’s a hundred times better!”

Come on! Help rebuild the funniest thread of al time!


#2

When working on a PC game, the lead programmer told the producer we couldn’t include all the video the producer wanted in the game because there wasn’t enough room on the CD. The producer asked the programmer if he could just install the video to the player’s hard drive instead.
The programmer said… “so you want to add a second CD?”
The producer said “No, the game will only be one CD, just install the video to the hardrive.”
The prgrammer then said “So what should I do? Just put the loose video files in the box? They won’t fit on a single CD.”


#3

lol !!

Ok my uncle needs a graphic made. Its 1x1200 and has a gradient from white to grey on it. It takes me less then 10 seconds to make it and email it to him. (he hasnt the 1st clue about graphics)

My friend comes in and says “who was that”
I said “My uncle just needed a graphic made”
My friend says “What was it?”
I said “just a gradient for the background of his website”
And my friend said “Dude, imagine how much money you could make doing that”
I just stared at him blankly for atleast 10 seconds…


#4

About 4 years ago, I did my student work experience placement at an architects, producing 3D models and walkthroughs of proposed building designs.

There was one particularly hot headed company director, and my very first introduction to him went something like this: (the guy had no experience of 3D whatsoever)

Him: “Hi Dave, you’ve been working on this thing for 4 days now, can I have a look at what you’ve done?”

Me: “Sure” (Very pleased with myself, have worked late and busted a gut to produce as much as possible. I start by showing him the wireframe plan view in the enlarged ‘top’ viewport)

Him: “IS THAT ALL YOU’VE DONE?! FOUR F**KING DAYS AND ALL YOU DONE IS DRAW A PLAN??”

Me: " … No … look … its a 3d model … you can rotate it around … look, heres a rendering I did 5 minutes ago …"

Him: (Walks off in a huff and doesn’t speak to me for a week)

I also very nearly had to slap one of my non-CG orientated friends recently for the following comment:

Friend: “Y’know, putting lens flares on photographs really just adds the finishing touch … lens flares just look so … professional.”


#5

Originally posted by DJ-Wood
Friend: “Y’know, putting lens flares on photographs really just adds the finishing touch … lens flares just look so … professional.”

lol, yea photographers must have been so thrilled when Photoshop debuted. Imagine spending years trying to capture that elusive lens flare “naturally!” :surprised


#6

A friend once asked me what I did in my spare time. I told him I modelled. He just stared at me for a moment and said “but your not even that good looking”.

I had to explain to him what CG, wireframes and texturing were. Eventually, I just told him I work on my computer a lot. His face brighten and he said “oh, your a hacker”. I just nodded and agreed at that point.


#7

Somone needs to write a book: “The Succint Guide to Explaining 3D at Social Occasions”


#8

Another story from the architect place I worked at when I was a student:

When I had my initial interview there, I took my folio of work produced using 3DS MAX. I told them that I was still learning the software, and that it was the only 3D programme I knew at the time.

Interviewer: “Fine, fine … thats no problem” (practically drooling, as I’m a student and so will only be earning £140 a week in this job, whilst he can sell my stuff to the client for full price)

So I start work there, and quickly realise I’m expected to produce MAX and Lightscape quality renders using a copy of Microstation '95 on a Power mac with 32 mb of RAM (they neglected to point this out in the interview, probably because they were all computer illiterate)

Furthermore, I realised that the previous employee had been producing all of his renders using what I suspected to be an illegal copy of ‘Strata’ (which he had removed from the system at the time of his departure - only small portions of the programme files remained)

So, I go to the hot-headed company director to try and explain the situation:

Me: “Hey look … this might be pirated software … you could get in a lot of trouble for this”

Him: “I’M SICK AND TIRED OF EXCUSES! YOU TOLD ME YOU COULD DO THIS JOB! I BET THAT WASN’T EVEN YOUR WORK IN YOUR FOLIO!!!”


#9

Ouch… How many a*hole-bosses are out there? Brrr… makes me shiver… :insane:


#10

i hate it when people say oh “he works with computers” personally i dont like computers to much and i see them as a tool only, they dont see that i am a designer .

thats like saying leonardo da vinci oh yeah that guy… he works with pencils…

kinda lowers your worth dont it…/?


#11

Originally posted by Akuma
[B]lol !!

Ok my uncle needs a graphic made. Its 1x1200 and has a gradient from white to grey on it. It takes me less then 10 seconds to make it and email it to him. (he hasnt the 1st clue about graphics)

My friend comes in and says “who was that”
I said “My uncle just needed a graphic made”
My friend says “What was it?”
I said “just a gradient for the background of his website”
And my friend said “Dude, imagine how much money you could make doing that”
I just stared at him blankly for atleast 10 seconds… [/B]

loool, heheheheh, huhuhuhu
funny! :bounce:


#12

Originally posted by DJ-Wood
Power mac with 32 mb of RAM

i got the same just Intel Pentium
sucks!

Well, i kinda got a story to… :shrug:
My friend and me are both interested into 3D Design, so I invite him over to show him the program, i learned it for about a week already. So i let ihm on, i tell him how to use a the commands and he makes a awesome alien head…
like nice details and stuff in about 1 hour, i was kinda shcoked because it took me 3 days to make my alien head and its got graficks cutting over each other, and his was like almost flawless. :shrug:

Ohwell, probly just because he didny have to find out how to use eachn comand…


#13

Ed “Oh you design websites?”

ME “Yes”

Ed “Nice! I really need a website done for my upcoming business…so can you cut me a deal?”

Me blinks


#14

I was working an a commercial and for the job i had to create the backdrops in 3d. So we’re filming against blue screen and the budget is $2000 for the ENTIRE commercial lol. Anyway We were already 15 days behind our due date. At the shoot one of the actresses/model didn’t show up so one of the agents of one of the actors turns to me and says ‘Can’t you just make a human in 3d?’

I laugh to myself thinking of the amount of time it would take pushing way beyond our due date. I said to him “No.”

He replies “Oh…I thought you do computer animation?”

Some people think you just push a button on a computer and 3d models come out… anyway i guess the good side of it was they asked my girlfriend who was there to fill in for the model/actress that didn’t show up :buttrock: :buttrock:


#15

lol, well i did think it was simpler too,
well, everytime someone asks me what its like to make 3D stuff, i say its like playing with clay witht he program i use, just you need to bump and diffrent commands to shape somehting out of a ball or square.


#16

hmmmmm nice I’m gonna try that next time :wink:


#17

ok, here it goes…

i was working for a client who wanted me to make an intro for a show they were going to air the next friday. I throw something together and they look at it and say, “um, where are all the line thingies.” I looked at him blankly for a second until i realized he was talking about a wireframe. I explained to him that it was rendered, so you didnt see those. He looked back and said “oh, well i thought 3d meant it was a wireframe, can you do one of those?”

12 days of texturing, lighting, and rendering- and he didnt even want it rendered!!!
if that doesnt make you mad, i dont know what does :thumbsdow


#18

hehe where to start :slight_smile:

Been a couple of memorable ones…I worked at a company with a really gung-ho account exec. He’d always be juiced on Red Bull and making the most ridiculous promises to clients. His fave throwaway line used to be “Ah just CHOP some pictures (peekshures) in there and it’ll look awesome!!”

One day a particularly annoying client popped into the studio for a meeting. By this stage I’d redesigned the interface (for a cd rom) about 3 times…each time being told to ditch a particularly cool idea (well I thought so anyway :smiley: ) and progressively dumb it down. I’d rendered elements, painted out some characters…really gone the extra mile. Client wanted something “original” and not just photomanipulation.

Client walks up to my desk, takes a look says…

“yeah I’ve been thinking, that’s rather bland”

Me: “…”

Client: “you haven’t put much effort in have you?”

Me: “…”

Client: slaps a sample disc from Photodisc on my desk with watermarked images at 180x180 “I think you should juice it up, use images on this disc”

Annoying account exec: “yeah dude, just chop some of those images in there and it’ll rock!!”

Me: “…”

By now other staff members are making a mad dash to my desk to restrain me for the inevitable explosion…suffice to say I chopped in some stock images (not the photodisc samples) and the client was happy…shrug.

Another crowd pleasing moment, this time from my Creative Director who really should know better…we’re working on concepts for our own website and I’ve modelled/rendered some objects in 3D. We all sit down and discuss, and my CD says "yeah ok those are good, lets have about 5 or 6 different ones and meet again tomorrow.

Me: “erm it takes 6-7 hours to model/texture one of these and you want 6 more tomorrow?”

CD: “what’s the problem, don’t you just SCAN it in and MAKE it 3D?”

Bear in mind this is a director of artists without the foggiest clue of the 3D process. If he cant get it right how can I expect clients to know Jack :slight_smile:


#19

Originally posted by Nightwing
CD: “what’s the problem, don’t you just SCAN it in and MAKE it 3D?”

OMFG, he should be shot.


#20

I helped design the website for our advertising company’s parent corporation. The owners and sales people were very pleased with themselves because in the few days that the site was up, it had a (relatively) high number of hits. They felt that my recommendations to put their URL on business cards, faxes, email sigs, letterhead, envelopes, and to advertise it on the voicemail, radio, and TV were all a potential waste of time and money because, hey, the website was really taking off without anything more than word of mouth.

After bragging to me about the stupendous (not really all that high but they were happy) number of hits, I asked them how many of the eyeballs were from outside the company.

The sales person looked at me with a blank stare.

I said, “Every salesperson here checks their email 5-25 times a day, right?”

“Yes, about 15 times a day on average.”

“And every time they log onto the net, the company website is set to their home page and comes up, right?”

“Yes.”

<long pause while I wait for it to sink in.>

<frustrating pause while I realize it won’t.>

“Sir, your own salespeople are hitting your website about 5,000 times a day. Only what’s beyond that is actually customers.”

“Right, we’re getting a little over 5,000 hits a day. Isn’t that good?”

<long pause while I reflect on my career choices that led me to that point.>

You know… I’m single again and I emphatically tell anyone interested in hooking me up that it better not be with a salesperson.