WIP "Sargasso" - need some advice pls

#1

Hi,

That’s my first posting here. I’ve been lurking for some time and decided it’s time to try to paint some picture . Here is a pic that started as free doodle, and somehowe developed into current stage.

I need some advice how to develope it further.
The story is simple: Sargasso Seas are inhabited by some sea monsters, lurking for ships to sunk them.

I’d like to draw viewers eye from the sailng ship through the shipwreck to the hidden monsters, or maybe vice versa from monster to incoming ship (im not sure which is better).

Secondly I cannot decide which part should i develop further, i feel like the part between monster and the wreck should have more detail… Maybe the monster… i don’t know, please give me some comments…

here are some optional versions:

Thank you for your time

#2

I really love your concept, the lighting and the colors are really developing beautifully. I think you should go with the one on the bottom left, and maybe the focus should be on putting more detail in the monster and the ship as you continue. Me eye goes from the monster to the ship because of the lighting and if there is detail where the visual pathway is, either from the ship to the monster or vice versa, will bring out more in the finalized picture. Again, lovely concept, lighting, and composition.

I hope that helps *

#3

Thanks for your comment, I think I understand what do you mean. I’ve already experimented with some texture brushes for the water reflections, but i’ll develop some more the main parts (ships, monster) then will post again. Once again thanks for your time.

#4

I agree with Audessy. I think the composition works better on the first optional version (u know, the “flipped” one… haha)
I really like what you got so far. I wish I had something else to say to help you… But I can’t think of anything… So I’m just looking forward to see the final piece (and/or your progress, of course) :thumbsup:

#5

Could not make me work on this piece, got stuck. Here is something I did when i tried to develop the monster :slight_smile: as u see i changed many things but not the monster :slight_smile: i suppose now the picture is bit more dynamic.
C&C most welcome.

#6

beautiful concept…love the mood and the colors. i have no tips (i also happen to suck at concept art) so i’ll just watch! :smiley:

#7

Here is what happend after some more tweeking…

#8

[size=2]I’m already pretty happy with the compositon, started some refining.
C&C most welcome.
Thanks for viewing, and posting. :slight_smile:

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#9

With the most recent revision, one thing I’m noticing is that my focus is getting stuck on the monster’s tail. It contrasts so much with the surroundings that it’s drawing my attention away from everything else in the painting - especially the creature’s head, which is lost between the bright tail and bright area around the ship.

One thing that makes it stand out so much is the green light... which calls to question the light source.  Unless the tail itself is glowing, the only thing that would produce that light is the creature's "antennae" up front... but the tail is facing away from them.

A suggestion would be to remove the green from the tail, leaving enough detail to allow the viewer's eye to follow the creature's contour to the ship.  Of course, it could just be me... :p

Hope this makes sense, and hope it helps, at least a little.  Keep at it! :thumbsup:
#10

Good point Imagus, I understand what you mean. To be honest, I was not sure which light i will choose the anteana, or a glow from below of the monsters body. I’ve made some more refining, and tried couple of ways to make a path for the viewers eye from the tail to the ships. Here are some thumbs…

Coments are most welcome...

[img]http://www.struk.neostrada.pl/pics/morski-pochor3_005a.jpg[/img][img]http://www.struk.neostrada.pl/pics/morski-pochor3_005b.jpg[/img][img]http://www.struk.neostrada.pl/pics/morski-pochor3_005c.jpg[/img]
#11

Hey, struk.

             The top two are both good, with the top right one creating more of the visual path you're trying for.  Also, unless you're truly attached to the lit antennae, they really aren't that necessary.  In general, marine life that uses phosphorescent appendages are usually deep-sea dwellers, and this one is prowling about near the surface, sinking ships.  Granted, this is a fantasy-based creature, but logistically it makes sense.  Plus, the lack of glowing appendages would make it that much harder for unsuspecting ships to see the creature(s) coming.
           
    Upon re-reading the story behind the picture, I'd have to say that the one element that isn't really reading well is the ship on the water.  The monster and the already-sunken ship are very clear, but the floating ship is so far back in the composition and obfuscated by the underwater perspective that it really isn't coming across very well.  As such, is the floating ship even necessary?  You've got a leviathan-esque creature, supposedly in its lair, and a sunken ship already.  By adding a few more elements of destruction to the underwater area of the scene, you should be able to portray the scenario

without having a ship waiting to be sunk. Instead of something about to happen, it’s something that’s already happened. Kind of like a warrior standing on a pile of bodies, weapon raised over his head. You don’t see the warrior fighting, he isn’t preparing to charge, but it’s very clear who the warrior is, what the warrior does, and what has happened.

           Also, if this is the path you choose, then the scene could be easily set deeper in the sea, making the composition darker and creating a great opportunity to use more eerie and subtle lighting, including the green phosphorescence, to create a more other-worldly feeling.
             
           Anyhow, sorry to ramble... just a few suggestions.  Make of them what you will.  :)
#12

Very constructive coments![size=2] Thank you Imagus.

Unfortunately, I have read it just before posting next version :frowning:
I agree that the ship on the surface does not read at all, one must guess what is that strange blob at the top!
It has to be refined or deleted. Its very good idea to leave the surface an go deeper, then all these eerie light on the beast would make sense.

I feel, i am stuck once again, I suppose, I check this deeeeper way…

However here is what i did today, removed all additional lightnig and refined some parts. Added more monster starting the chase after incoming ship (which still is a blob :slight_smile: )… Im not sure if there is to much elements in the picture now…
I think the monster needs some interesting feature to have added… now its a bit boring, not having lights, and the tail is not realy exposed…

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#13

Interesting thought on adding more creatures… I’d thought of it, but didn’t suggest it because the simplicity of a single creature representing the overall threat seemed effective. Perhaps one other creature in the background would help convey the sense of a group, rather than a single creature. Overall, I like what you’ve done with the scene though, as you mentioned, the boat on the water still isn’t really reading that well, even with the two other creatures heading toward it.

 As to the creature designs, I'd say you still might want to consider getting rid of the suckers on the tail.  They're still a little bit distracting (though not nearly as much as before) on the one in the foreground, and I'm not sure what their function would be in relation to sinking ships.  Of course, if you are really attached to them, keep them in, but removing them might help the composition, even if you change the location as mentioned above.
 
 As to making the creature more threatening in appearance, the reason it may be reading as "bland" or "boring" right now is the fact that every line of the creature is smooth and rounded.  In general, these shapes tend to give things a softer, gentler feel.  For contrast, consider the [angler fish](http://www.dribl.com.au/pics/Nemo%20Fish.JPG) from Finding Nemo.  There are a lot of jagged, uneven shapes (teeth, etc) that add to its menacing impression.  For your creature, perhaps  the tail could have a more ragged shape (minus the  suckers), the top fin could be thinner and spikier, emulating a fish and adding a shark-like feel... basically, break up the countoured, rounded form with irregular, sharp ones.  Play around with it a bit, and see what you come up with.

Hope this helps, and keep at it! :thumbsup:

P.S. - You mentioned that you’d removed all additional lighting, but there’s still a bit of green phosphorescent light on the tail… not sure if this was intentional or not. If the light is from the background elements, it would be more white/blue in color.

#14

Thanks Imagus for suggestions. Did not have time to paint yesterday so I will post next updates probably after the weekend.

As for the monster design, I did some google research before painting. I’ve seen the angler fish, that is why my monster had this funny glowing anteane :slight_smile: My idea is to make a believable sea creature, so I went the more obvious way… Sea creatures are smooth, and curvy in order to swim well. I made a mixture of morena leech and octopus… I try to go for a more muscle oriented monster…

I thought about more spiky fin, and jaaaaws mayby some kind of thingie “tails” medusa have…
I like sucktions :slight_smile: I have never thought what are they for :slight_smile: I suppose they simply look scary and people assosiate them with octopus which is a stereotype scary character. When I thought over their usage I think they are not used for sinking ships, but for attacking other sea creatures, whales, sharks etc…

I come up with a way the monster fight! It is gonna attack like serpent, enatngling prey in its tail, possible shocking with some electricity or poison while simulatenosly it can bite.

The green something is the natural color of this part of monster, I made the crature green/blue but the water colorization changed it to blue mostly.

#15

Here is small update.
Did not have much time really…but tried to change couple of things…

#16

Here is another small update…
I feel, I got definetly stuck :frowning:
There is still something wrong with this painting, I suppose i try to ask Stahlberg for some help

#17

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