Here’s a part of what i’d like to do, i’m re-writing a bit of it now, and will upload that later. I’m hoping to shorten it a bit and keep it at 2 minutes or under. C&C most welcome. Thanks for having a look!
Is there someplace “official” where I should be uploading this stuff or will this do?
[right]Thursday, March 28, 2008
[/right]
Uplift Universe: Alien Relations
Draft 1
Uplifted Uprise
by Ryan Hagen
[left][b]Ext. SPACESHIP REPAIR SHOP - MORNING
[/b] [/left]
[left]Establishing shot. Logo (title of short revealed)
[/left]
[left]slow crane shot, tree covered hills in the background, the neon sign of the repair shop is flickering on and off. Possibly use the neon for the logo, maybe, not sure on that one.
[/left]
[right]FADE OUT
[/right]
[right]
[/right]
Act I
[right]
[/right]
[left]Int. Spaceship repair garage
(walla)
[/left]
[left]Camera moves through the garage and see a few ships in for repairs. The clanking of metal on metal can be heard. Camera comes slows into a fixed position, 3/4 view of a ship with Neo-Toadi [/i]underneath. Repair shop boss/owneri[/i] enters frame from screen left, he pauses, turns to Neo-Toad. DURING:
[/left]
Boss/Owneri[/i]
(Pissed)
I want all of these ships, out of MY garage,
(beat)
TONIGHT!
[left]Boss/Owner turns and exits frame to screen right.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON NEO-TOAD; MOVE IN
[/left]
[left]Hes rolled himself out from under the spaceship and is looking in the direction of the boss/owner, we hear a door slam, neo-toad rolls eyes, and slumps back down and pulls himself back under the ship. He starts back on his work, pounding away, mumbling to himself.
[/left]
[left]DISSOLVE TO: [i](Trying to come up with a better way to do this)
[/i] [/left]
[left]Dream sequence. Quick cuts to scenes of the boss/owner yelling at neo-toad. Beatings, other violent interactions. Things from his past. They transition to him dreaming about escaping his life at the repair shop and how it will go, peaceful, violent?
[/left]
[left][b]SNAP FADE:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Neo-toad blinks a few times and wipes one of his eyes. He zoned out, and hasnt been working. He quickly tries to get himself back together. He stumbles a bit and the begins to work again DURING:
[/left]
Boss/Owner (O.S.)
(Pissed)
GET BACK TO WORK!!!
[left]CUT TO:
[/left]
[left]ANGLE ON BOSS/OWNER CLOSE UP, MOVE OUT
[/left]
[left]Boss/Owner is raised up in his red leather chair after yelling at Neo-toad. Hes listening to see if he can hear noises again. Hearing them, he settles back into his chair and resumes his daily activities. Hes going over some bills and rummaging through some paper, when he comes across a piece of paper we cant see. He leans into his chair and throws his hands behind his head. Hes delighted in how well his business is doing.
DISSOLVE TO:
[/left]
[left]Dream Sequence. Quick cuts of him in a nice car, drinking champagne while looking down at Neo-Toad while hes working. Sinister laughs, dollar signs, all that good stuff.
[/left]
[left][b]SNAP FADE:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Boss/Owner comes back to, and adjusts himself in his chair. He gets back to going over his papers. He chuckles every now and again as the camera moves out.
[/left]
[right]FADE OUT
[/right]
[right]
[/right]
ACT II
[left][b]Ext. Behind garage - afternoon
[/b] [/left]
[left]Angle on rear of repair shop, Favor Neo-Toad
[/left]
[left]Enough time to establish.
[/left]
[left]Neo-toad is taking a break and flipping through a magazine. His foot kicking a tin can. Neo-toads mood suddenly brightens as hes looking at a page in the magazine.
[/left]
[left][b]QUICK CUT:
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON magazine page, MOVE IN
[/left]
[left][b]BACK TO Neo-toad
[/b] [/left]
[left]as he looks up and his eyes dart, thinking of his plan. He jumps up and heads for the back door of the garage, opens the door and walks in screen right.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON Neo-toad
[/left]
[left]We track with Neo-toad as he walks through the garage and gathers some things. MOVE OUT: We see the shadow of Neo-toad hammer on something.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON OFFICE DOOR, C.U.-FAVOR Boss/Owner
[/left]
[left]opening the door to check on his uplift, his eyes squinting.
[/left]
[left]QUICK CUT:
(shop walla)
[/left]
[left]Shadow of Neo-toad is seen doing something(looks like hes working).
[/left]
[left][b]BACK TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Boss/Owner nods in agreement and slowly creeps back into his office.
[/left]
[left]FADE TO BLACK:
(shop walla)
[/left]
[left]Flashes of robot being built on hammer beats. Wires being connected with electical shocks, plates being placed(screwed in). Eyes powering on(glow).
[/left]
[left]CUT TO:
[/left]
[left]ANGLE ON Neo-toad and robot
[/left]
[left]as he stares at his creation.
[/left]
[left][b] CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Robot Hero shot.
[/left]
[left][b]RAPID DISSOLVE TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Boss/Owner opens his office door violently. The sound of work has died down and hes upset. He walks towars camera.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON Boss/Owner as he walks towards where he saw Neo-toad working. DURING:
[/left]
Boss/Owner
(angry)
WHY ARENT YOU WORKING!?!
(beat)
THIS IS THE LAAAH
(interupted)
[left]we look towards Neo-toad as they appear from behind a ship.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]Boss/Owners reaction to seeing the robot for the first time.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO - W.S. Robot, Neo-toad, Boss/Owner
[/b] [/left]
[left]Neo-Toad smirks and points a finger at Boss/Owner and Robot starts toward him going around Neo-toad.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO:
[/b] [/left]
[left]C.U. - Boss/Owner
[/left]
[left]raises his arms up in fear and trembles while letting out a scream.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO W.S. Of repair shop MOVE OUT
[/b] [/left]
[left]Sounds of punching, groans and moans can be heard.
[/left]
[right]FADE OUT
[/right]
[b]ACT III
[/b]
[left][b]FADE IN:
[/b] [/left]
[left][b]Ext. Rear of repair shop
[/b] [/left]
[left]ANGLE ON Spaceship
[/left]
[left]We see Boss/Owner looking beaten up sitting in a spaceship whining. Neo-toad slams the door and slowly Boss/Owner takes off. Neo-toad, quite happy with himself walks into the rear door of the shop.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO Int. Shop
[/b] [/left]
[left]Neo-toad enters shop door, walks towars camera and stop at the office door. Pushes the door open and looks inside.
[/left]
[left][b]CUT TO Int. Office
[/b] [/left]
[left]Neo-toad walks up to chair and grabs the back of it, spins it around and sits in it. He spins so hes facing the desk and leans back into a relaxed position with his hands behind his head and sighs.
[/left]
[left][b]DISSOVE TO Ext. Space
[/b] [/left]
[left]Boss/Owner in ship enters screen right, crying to himself. He looks around and sobs even harder into his hands.
[/left]
[left][b]Radial Wipe In on Boss/Owner face(beat)
[/b] [/left]
[left]CUT
[/left]
[left]
[/left]
Roll Credits
THE END
I have a reserved thread, but nothing on there yet, so i’m a bit behind already, but i should have something to post soon. I’ll catch up with you later buddy.
