The Journey Begins Challenge (2D) Entry: David Freeman


#81

The colors are great, but it looks somewhat dis-balanced (after the addition of the background). The background doesn’t look bad–and a suggestion doesn’t immediately spring to mind–but something will definitely have to balance out the composition on the right hand side.

Loved the robot in the previous update…I personally think you should keep it. :slight_smile:

Best of luck!

:buttrock:


#82

:slight_smile: Thanks MDN67 …hope to post an update within a few days - once I’ve sorted all otstanding elements in the composition.

:slight_smile: Thanks OliveBeard… great advice…

I agree about the composition, but love the space and opportunity to tell a story of the journey about to commence. I still need to sort out midspace, etc. and I hope to have some immense gothic / religious ruins to the right.

As far as the robot, I really liked him, but worry that he is too cartoon like…mmmmm

I hope to have a chance to focus on this for a day or so and really sort out the loose ends.

:slight_smile: Smilees still not working except for smiley face…sorry :frowning: (and sad face)


#83

hey man, havent had a chance to stop by here, but thank you for checking mine out! first off, awesome job on the kid in the middle (green shirt) really well rendered. i think all you need to worry about is the kids and that backdrop (the city) those are your two strongest images because; character and destination.

so it looks good to me man, just keep working!


#84

:slight_smile: Thanks adonihs… Good to see your entry and hope I was constructive!!

I’ve just changed the perspective so that the vanishing point is located to the right of the composition leading towards the city rather than behind the boy. Changing the angle of map / table / stone and architectural ruins at last links all elements together.

Busy day today, but I’ll definitely squeeze in a lot of time on this tonight…


#85

I have say that I like this image, but the more I look at it and the more there is a small criticism who comes to me to the idea, the blue light on characters, comes it of the right? If it is the case, she is too strong, because she does not correspond to the right par of the composition.


#86

Thanks for the advice MDN67…

The blue light was actually radiating from an object on the table / area directly in front of the children, so once the source is visible, this should make more sense (I hope)…

The update I am currently working on makes such a difference and I’ll post soon

:slight_smile: :slight_smile:


#87

OK, I understood but if the light comes from the table, the characters with the red jacket is bad expose the left part( should reflect the light, it is for it that I thought that the light came from right-hand side, OK, I suppose that in fact, you have not worked it yet, I look forward to the next update


#88

looks realy good, the architecture is also wonderful. i think of one the kids should point out to the horizon. it will tell the story a little better.


#89

You’re such a master of colors, man! Love the skintones and the soft way they are rendered. Just one crit on the background in the last version - I think that on the very right these architecture should be getting higher - just to balance the composition a bit, by now it’s unpleasant for the eye.

Great painting :applause:


#90

Hi David, great job you’re doing here, man. I really like your style. Your machineflesh entry was great! I wish you the best of the lucks with this one.


#91

doh! silly me - sorry MDN67 you are right and I somehow overlooked that. Something else to add to the list of things to do… thanks again :slight_smile:

Cheers warpy good idea and something I did start to do at one point - and then I sort of got lost and everything started going weird and I returned to my original composition…

I agree that I need some sort of device like someone pointing and I hope the update I’m working on solves this…Thanks for the advice…

Thanks elgrozni… you’re too kind… as far as the architecture - the version I’m working on does exactly this (and I wasn’t sure if this was right to do, so you’ve given me more confidence in how the image is progressing…

Thanks Nigio… if you’ve seen my Machineflesh entry then you probably have noticed that the boy in both images is the same. This is one of the benefits of having children and being able to sketch them all the time, though getting them to stay still is a bit tricky!!

More soon… :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


#92

So u decided to go with the original, I trust ur judgement, I will be waiting for the next update David, good luck with it!:beer:


#93

:slight_smile: Cheers Bryce… and there I was saying how I wouldn’t keep changing my mind like the last challenge…mmmm

Still I feel happier about this image and am pleased with the update I’m working on.

I think tonight could be a busy one… :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


#94

Having had such great feedback, I decided to put up this wip to see how people reacted to the changes I’ve made.

I’ve added a second line of perspective leading to the city to help lead the eye across from the children to the area in to which they are heading.

Changes to the table and archway behind help to add space and direction.

I also intend to add more architectural details to help with space, but that’s for the next update

I’ll hopefully add remaining elements over the next day or so, so I can then concentrate on detail…


#95

Good improves :thumbsup: . Robot is definitely a must for this painting! Just one suggestion: What do you say about separating the place they are in from the hole in front of the city. I suggest putting there a wall or something coz like now it seems like the girl in red is flying in that blackness you have there or like she’s going to fall inthere. IMHO a little courved wall in the bottom-right corner would make it a lot more logical and improve the composition too. Not neccesary a wall, just something…
Keep going


#96

Thanks elgrozni

I’m trying to sort out the mid space at the moment plus some key issues relating to the idea behind the journey…

More very soon…

Thanks again for your advice and support :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


#97

I’ve changed the perspective so that it isn’t so extreme as the archway behind the boy was too wide angled and started to look a little silly (and I like the way it frames him).

I’m still working on the background and have been trying to get the depth and space working first.

I’ve also started to develop the characters and make them look like they are embarking on an adventure (addition of goggles, etc.)

I’m now adding the details that will help explain the concept behind the painting…


#98

awesome! you added the robot back, and wow this is really turning out to be a winner bud. you have some lovely colors as always in this, and I love how its still a bit loose, but solid at the same time…and maybe thats just because its a WIP…but still, its really a beautiful painting :slight_smile: good work!


#99

Really starting to love it, ahhh the beauty of painting! Keep it up dude, u will find something that ur comfortable with, I have that problem as well changing stuff around hehe!:thumbsup:


#100

Now that the composition is fairly much there, I’ve started to improve the characters, especially the girl on the right who I felt was the weakest.

I’m trying to make the figures look more like they are about to embark on an amazing journey, rather than just out playing.