hello everyone! thank you all for your comments, I hope you’ll write some more your impressions on the next fragment of my work.
The Journey Begins Challenge (2D) Entry: Andrew Shcherbak
elgrozni
#42
It’s looking very good and I like this painterly style but i hink the objects in her backpack are a bit too detailed compared to her face. They just draw too much attention and unless you are going to detail the face and hair further you should bring less sharpness and contrast there…
Nice work, keep going 
system
#44
thanks! i was wandering about the detail you have noticed too, maybe i was a bit too excited with the process of drawing those details. 
i’m still working!
Jakyll
#45
One of my favorites!!! Very good work, man!
I find the colour very successful.
The red on their cheeks
.very well.
system
#46
almost done!!! write me please what you think about it!
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE ON THE FINAL WEEK OF THE CHALLENGE!!!
walrus
#47
The coloring is looking nice. But hmm, I’m curious why you changed the layout. I thought the other layout was a lot stronger: The movement in the piece was left to right, with the girl’s glance left being a clearly backwards glance. Now she’s loking left, but she’s on the right but the movemet is also leftwards… it’s just not as clear a read.
Also, while I like the new expression on the wolf pup, sadder and matching the girl’s more, I liked the colors on post #33 more becuae there was a lot more values being player with, from whites to darks. Here, the pup has become more of a uniform grey, very similar hues to the rest of the background.
Hope you don’t mind my pointing these out, I’m not meaning to put it down as it’s a wonderful work… I just think that a lot of aspects of the earlier rev were a bit stronger. Good luck with it!
-mike
NinjaSuz
#50
I am fascinated with this painting! I think it looks great. I think it’s going to be a very strong candidate for this competition.
Good luck!
werepumpkin
#51
This is a beautiful piece. I’m sorry I’ve been too busy to have followed the progress from the biggining, or to work on my own entry for that mattter.
Maybe it’s because I DIDN’T see the early images before, but I like the tonal decisions, and the compositional changes. The colors and tones reflect a more gloomy mood appropriate to the scene. She smaller group of travellers makes the situation seem more dire. And I’m ususally a stickler on left to right movement, but the right to left movement just doesn’t seem to bother me in this instance. If anything it drives home the discomfort of the situation.
My 2 cents.
system
#52
very good! i like the expression in that kids face.keep up the good work men ur almost done:thumbsup:
werepumpkin
#54
I’va had a chance to think about why the flipped composition worked for me, so I thought I’d share it:
“Reading” an image from left to right is mostly a cultural thing, thought some argue there’s an intrinsic way in which our brain processes images that makes this more universal than that. I can’t argue the latter point, but I can argue for this composition within the cultual prescription of the left-to-right “read.”
Generally left to right movement in an image is considered FORWARD movement, be it in time or space. Aan artist can by the same token use this norm to convey BACKWARD movement. That is a character returning to a previous state or place. Anyone interested in thearing someone talk lightly about the application of this can see Peter Jackson’s commentaries on Lord of the Ring DVD special features.
To me, the tribe moving away form the viewer puts ME, the viewer, in the scene and makes me read the flipped scene as a group of beloved friends and relatives leaving ME and the safety of our camp (or whatever), as they get back on their way. Put another way, this angle feels to me like I am in the scene, as opposed to being an omnipresent observer that is looking onto someone elses life/scene, much in the way we see TV. We generally separate ourselves from the scene.
The left to right read composition at best places me with the tribe on the journey. Here the scene is made more personal because while I am going forward in time and space, this sad group is NOT. They are parting ways with the viewer.
I hope this makes sense to most of you.
Once again, I believe this piece is very well crafted, and the composition and contrast decisions support and enhance the mood. Great job!
system
#55
thank you all for your comments and critique. i appreciate your advise. according to the discussion caused by contradictive impressions from my new composition i’d like to explain some general points to make my idea more clear. on the first variant the movement in the composition goes on the almost straight line though the child’s hand and the tribe to the light over horizon (pic.A)- it helps to show the movement forward, but it is NOT the aim of my work. my target is to show the feelings of the child who abandones the homeplace. i’ve written about it in some my previous posts. so that the emphasis of the composition structure lays on the girl’s face and a wolf cub. to make the dramatic mood of the HARD journey (but it is still optimistic - the light under the clouds) i’ve decided to flip the composition. in this case movement line goes from right to left through the hand, than througt the head and weaves to hte horizon (pic.B). this change separates the girl from the general movement of the others (in the previous image she is a part of it)but she still depends on them. she hesitates to leave or not, newertheless she will follow them in any case.
ekah
#56
Hello, I apologize for chiming a bit late. The illustration is beautiful. The girl and the wolf are lovely.
Thank you for your explanation on your decision for the “flipped” layout. However, I respectfully disagree and prefer the layout A. It just flows better for me, and it has nothing to do with cultural thing about left-to-right or vice verse. The girl would look hesitant about leaving regardless because she is still looking back.
In any case, it’s just nitpicking. 
Good luck.
system
#57
…Ancient times. the place where this small girl’s born is frozen by the cold winds and poor for food. mammoths, the sourse of the thibes being, have left seeking for better lands. people have to abandone this place too. the girl has to follow the family and she is sorrow to leave her home going to unknown lands. embracing her only friend, a small wolf cub, she is almost ready to leave but she stopped for a moment to see the birthplace for the last time. she is sad and intrigued at the same time, because the journey is going to be hard, but extremely interesting - new life, new adventures… the wolf cub is cold and frightened a bit, this is his first time leaving home too to something he can’t even imagine.
adrianis
#58
Hi! I love your illustration!, the mood, the cute face and I like a lot the composition, I’m not an expert, but IMHO I feel it’s more dynamic. (b~_^)b
system
#59
thank you all for yuor replies! :bounce:comments and critique are still more than wellcome! good luck everyone with this challenge!
May-lea
#60
Oh that cub is so cute, I love that picture Now you’re asking for critics and comments, I’d just like to ask where the light is coming from exactly. On the cub’s eyes the light comes from the right, but the girl’s arm is dark, and in her eyes the light comes from the left. And from what I see the environment light comes from behind her anyway. But then I always have the same problems in my pictures, you never really know where the light comes from so feel free to ignore that comment ^^.
Good luck anyway!
(And once she’s done with the cub I wanna hug it too )