Hey man, your really going to have to cross that bridge if you want to be a strong modeler. Its not a matter of intelligence or learning style. Its just a fact of this kind of work. It might take you a few years to get to the point where your making great looking characters.
There are certain techniques and edge flow patterns that you can learn and apply to different types of projects, but your going to have to do a decent amount of problem solving. Obviously different objects and characters have different requirements, and you cant always look up a tutorial on how to model something. Clicking all the buttons on your own is a way to know what tools you've got at your disposal to solve a problem. It helps to spend many hours messing around with deformers, edge loop patterns, constraints, blend shapes, UV's, sims, booleans, NURBS, curves, extrusions, sculpting tools, and everything in between. You really don't need a book to learn how to use these things. You just need to experiment with them and figure out how to apply them to the particular thing that your modeling.
And obviously this is just on the technical side. It takes many more years to figure out the anatomy and art side of things… 