Story Solutions.

#261

Thanks Thinkstory for helping me. I was stuck in this phase and it was a kayos for me. Got your point, will build a story more precise. thanks again for the help.

#262

Hi ThinkStory,

Yeah, I was also working on Fossil Fuel. It’s a series of 3 commercials: Fossil Fuel, Chunky Monkey and Phish Food. This particular one is the flavor for Phish Food.
Like the Sweet 'n Low commercials with Pink Panther ends with “Think Pink” or JackLinks Beefjerkys has " Feed your wildside". I want to come up with one slogan for all the 3 commercials. But now I can’t think of a catchy slogan.

The main idea for the commercials is that the main character gets into danger/ has an adventure when eating the ice cream. Because Ben & Jerry’s is about nature and environment protection, I included animals in the commercials.

#263

Hi ThinkStory,

I am a 15 yr old student, currently working on story ideas for a 3d animation project for next year. My animation would at most be around 5 mins. My animation would have a simple plot, as i am still a beginner in animation :slight_smile: i already have an idea in mind, but would like some improvements to it.]

Here is it:
[font=Verdana]In the middle of the night, two electric fans engage in a “soccer match” in a room, playing using a ping pong ball. They set up “goalposts” from common items in the room. To play, they use their generated wind to direct the ball past the “goalposts”. Hence, each of them tried to score against the other, but to no avail. [action-packed scenes of how the tried to score] Both “players” got closer and closer to getting the goal and just as one is about to score, the plug of both electric fans suddenly came out of the electric socket. Therefore, without electricity to power them, both were unable to move. then, a small pocket fan (powered by batteries) came hopping by and slowly blew the ball into the goal…[/font]
[font=Verdana][/font]
[font=Verdana]So… there’s a little twist at the end of the story. I was also hoping for a small moral/message at the end… Hope that u can provide some inspiration for improvements to my storyline. Thanks in advance :)[/font]
[font=Verdana][/font]
[font=Verdana]jerroldchong[/font]

#264

I will appreciate your help very much.!!..

#265

Hi BooBetty,

If I may add my voice in here. It sounds like you have the basics of a nice, short film. I think that 2 minutes max can cover the basics. If you want to play off the “people are not always what they look like” you could perhaps make the girl blind. Her tapping along the street, dark glasses on. As the boys see her coming, they snicker and nudge each other. As they taunt her, they get a few gags in (putting something in her path, like a board to make her move side to side to go arund it and they keep moving it or make dog barking noises or something). She reacts by turning around and “accidentally” thwacking one of the boys in the face with her cane. Another noise and she spins and gets in a shot to the groin. Perhaps more noise (like moaning or something) and she moves forward and sricks her cane up a boys nose (who is curled up on the ground from being hit) and pushes him along for a bit. Then perhaps she tucks her cane under her arm (with the end sticking out the back) and bends over to listen more closely to the noses on the ground and pow pokes the last boy who was coming up behind her.

Overall a very Charlie Chaplain slapstick feel.

Then as the camera follows her as she walks away, she get a little knowing smile across her lips.

Another variation you could go with is that as she walks away, she tilts her head down and looks over the top of her glasses into the camera and gives a little wink. She’s isn’t really blind.

If you are up to a little bit of aditional animation, perhaps have one or two people pass in front of the boys and act timidly as the boys give the people a hard time. This sets up the premise that thse boys hang out here all the time and harass anyone who passes by. Thereby giving the little girl a motive for pretending to be blind (if you go that route) and giving the boys some well deserved payback.

Hope this helps.

#266

Hi Totoro,

I’m not too familiar with your stories, but I had mulled over some slogans based on the premise of the adventurer and ice cream angle.

These are what I came up with:

Taste the Adventure
Adventure in a Waffle Cone
Stay Cool
Chill!
Two Scoops of Fun (or Two Scoops of Cool)
Double Dip Adventures

Hmmmm. I’ll leave out all the variations, but the basics are fun, adventure, and ice cream.

Hope this helps.

#267

Wow, gone for a week and I see there’s been
quite a bit of activity on this thread.

Angel Jotiko - I’d really like to help but
“how much help” would depend on the scope
of the project. If you’d like, you can send over
some materials. Let me take a look and see
where we can go!

BarrySmith - Hi! Welcome, and thanks for the help!!
boobetty - BarrySmith’s advice is certainly a
good and sufficient method to take out the violence and
provide humor and moral to the story. It should take
your concept to another level, let us know if you want
more direction!

Totoro - OK, gotcha. For an overall slogan, BarrySmith
provided some ideas, I’ll just add a few other keywords
and phrases that comes to mind:
Dangerous Instincts/Animal Instincts/Predatory Instincts
Beastly Cravings
Cream to the Extreme
Excite with every Bite

This category is more towards the wild, outdoor side.
The idea is “survival of the fittest,” eat or be eaten kinda thing,
depending on whether that’ll work with your commercials.

jerroldchong - If you want to add a moral to it, how about
using an electric fan in the end of the story instead?
Two battery fans, agile, quick, and mobile are engaged in a game.
The bulky, old fashioned, table electric fan tries to join in, jumping
forward but gets pulled back, almost as though on a leash.
The two agile fans move away from the clumsy-looking one and
continue their match teasingly. Eventually, their batteries run out
and the old reliable, electric fan scores the goal.

OK, I think I covered everything, let me know if this helps.

ThinkStory

#268

BarrySmith, ThinkStory
Thanks alot! These are just the slogans I’m looking for. I think I can work something out with “Taste the Adventure” or the survival of the fittest idea.

#269

Thanks a lot to both of you. I think that idea is great and it’s gonna work pretty good.
Hope you gonna be here to help us for a long time : )

Thanks again

#270

My story is supposed to involve 2 characters and a box. The focus is on performance animation. The box could really be anything. A treasure chest, an outhouse, a cereal box, an air conditioner, a lunchbox. Ive had about 10 ideas or so but none have really had a good story, or ending.

It has to be 30 seconds long, and no camera cuts.
It should have a setting, problem, solution and end, and should be funny. Ive realized when you have a lot of bad stuff going on all your funny stories are really kind of, not. Any ideas are welcome.
One of my lame ideas, was a character seeing a box, inspecting it, trying to move it or lift it. When he can’t a character inside the box pops out and scares the other guy. It was rejected.
So I welcome any suggestions. Thank you.

#271

Hi ThinkStoy!

I have a problem with a moral or an ending for my short animation story!
To make the the story short. Here is the idea!

Its about a skater that its trying to bust a trick down some stairs.
He fail everytime and hurt himself more and more…
(And heres were the problem comes in)
Finally he landed the trick, but then he is getting hit by a buss.

Another way to make this is:
First time he try to bust the trick he break his leg (or something) then the ambulance is picking him up!
Second time the samething happend…
But the theird time he actually bust the trick, but when he reach the road the ambulance hits him.

This is it… I have no inspiration for the rest or the end… And it doesnt have any moral…
It sucks… But i like the idea and want to make it about and skater who tries to bust this trick. And I woud be really happy if u coud give me some tips or anything that can make my brain functionell again hehe…

The animation cant be shorter than 2min or longer then 10min… This is a project that I will spend rest of the school year on… It have to be finnished around Juny 2007. So I have the time. But really want everything ready for animation and rendring until new year.

Thank you for this incredible threed.

Regards Daniel

#272

Although I haven’t post a question here before, I’m a regular subscriber to it and hey, I don’t mean to offend anybody but is it me or are some recent posters starting to take advantage of this thread?

Looking at some of the new stuff, people are asking ThinkStory for like story stuff that has like little-to-no basis whatsoever. I think ThinkStory is a incredibly nice guy who came to offer a lot of help to those who’s stuck on story problems and to help with storytelling but NOT to help you come up with your stories FOR YOU. I think he deserves to be paid for that, man. You guys/girls should hire the guy if you’re like asking him to do your work.

Sorry, I don’t mean to buttin but it just this doesn’t seem right, man.

ThinkStory, I don’t know how you see it but, I’m just a bystander and that’s what I’m seeing. The people who’s posting should really give some more thoughts to their projects before asking somebody who’s just doing this because they’re nice enough to make the offer.

#273

Hi, I’m back. Sorry, it’s been like a month and a half.

SHMW, thanks. I appreciate your comments, there is truth
to it in that I really would like for posters to provide more
contents on what their stories are. I don’t want to discourage
anybody to post. Even if the question sounds stupid, don’t
be intimidated. I don’t mind at all. It’s not a problem.
Just that do put some thought to it first and really work on it.

Story developing is most interesting and effective when you
make it a personal thing. Stories relates and comes from the heart.
There are no recopies, no cookie-cutter, they should be individualistic
and stylized with the storyteller. The thing is, I understand if you’re
not a “story person” but if you are to tell a story, own it. I want to
help you tell your stories but not to, as SHMW said, make it “for you.”
I have my own stories too and if you’d like me to present you one
that I’ve done, I’m more than happy to but, yeah, it’s a personal
thing and I’d like to ask for credit for doing it.

Holis00 and dboydesign, I do have some advice for you though.
I’ve gotten quite a few of these questions before and it kind of
comes down to the same problem. And it’s that what you
have are more like “scenarios” as opposed to “stories”, there
are constraints and opportunities but no theme, purpose, or
resolution.

It’s something that’s often encountered when developing a story
out of scratch. The trouble is you’re chasing for an idea that does
not yet exist in your head, and eventually you get tired of searching
because IT’S NOT THERE. If a room is empty, there’s nothing to
be found. And it’s hard to just “put something there” and make it
work cause, hey, if you had something handy, you would’ve done
that a long time ago. The trick is don’t go looking for it, let it come
to you. When I taught, I used to spend an entire session on how to
get over this so I don’t know how much I can cover here but here’s
a quickie version of what you can do.
Try this (you really have to put in an earnest effort for this to work):
Set aside some time, any place, anywhere. And just sit back.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath. And breathe out SLOWLY.
Clear your mind, clear out EVERYTHING. Make it blank.
Like you have no preconceptions or memory.
Don’t let your knowledge, feelings, or personality get in the way–
it will though at an unconscious level but that’s a good thing and that’s
what we want.

Once you’re completely relaxed and comfortable, open your eyes
and just look at the things around you like you’ve never seen them
before. Like if you see a chair, ignore that it’s a chair, its use,
its shape, its color. And just let yourself IMAGINE.
Anything. Imagine anything. Don’t think about your story or the
need to create one. Just imagine like a kid and have fun. And an
idea will come to you. It might not be 100% story material the
first time around but ideas like ones you would’ve never thought
of before will come and it’ll help, and it’ll work somehow with
your story.

Really, try it. It’s kind of weird but many find it amazingly successful.
If you are to create a story starting from scratch, and no amount of
thinking or reasoning seems to work, try starting from scratch.

As always, let me know if it works for you.

#274

Hi again!

Thank you very much for your help! I am totally agreed with you! It really help a lot!
I feel kind of bad to ask so much from you! This is my problem but not yours!

When I post my last reply, I was so confused! And so scared, because I coudnt think and I coudnt work! Usually I allways get a lot great ideas. But this time I was really stuck and this was my last chance to get some help! Actually my story have changed a lot! We had this course for scripts, when I was sitting there. She talk about things that is very important when your making a script! Like “make the audience to think something, then surprise them with another twist.” Or use colors for feelings. Like American Beauty! One of the best movies ever. It haves everything… Everything in that movie is amazing.

Sorry fall off the track there… When I was sitting there and the teacher talk about all this things… Then suddenly my inspiration just started to flow, It was so much things that happend. I started to look in a another direction, and saw things in a new perspective.

From that day I changed my script! I have decided to make a short film with lot of feelings mix up with comedy! My goal is to make the audience have the same feeling for this character that I have… Love him like I do! “THE CHARACTER”…

And everything you wrote back help me even more… Thank you very much! If you sometime need help for something with 3d or story, please let me know. And I will try my best to help you out!

BR Daniel

#275

Hi dboydesign,

you’re very welcome!! Glad it was helpful!

I also like your new direction much better.
Story and character depth is GOOD.

“If you sometime need help for something with 3d or story,
please let me know. And I will try my best to help you out!”

Hey, you bet! I will, and excited to have made a new friend!

ThinkStory

#276

[i]hi thinkstory :wink: i have read some of your story solutions and im really impressed. which also made me to post my initial storyline here which ill be doing for a school project (a 3d short) hoping that you could somehow share your personal thoughts regarding the plot of my story or the production design ill be using for this one. I’ll GREATLY appreciate any comments from you and also to those who wish to share their ideas, pls. do so. be greatly appreciated as well.

Im not really a good storywriter so pls. pardon me if my story pitch sucks. pls ask questions if you don’t understand whatever i posted here :wink: im excited to hear responses. BTW, ill be doing a 3dshort about the end time events (based on the book of revelation) from the Bible/ the part where the antichrist holds power (666). i want the story fictional because i want it to take place in a sci-fi environment which will run approx. about 8-10 mins. so really short.[/i]

so here goes:

Rapture is a pre-tribulation experience where Christians or believers of Christ disappear and be caught up in the air to meet the Savior. Those who will be left behind will suffer the rule of the Anti-Christ. There will be a high tech civilization where buildings are extremely high and means of transportation are all in the air.

The Antichrist will turn the whole world into a cashless control system. No one can buy nor sell without the mark of the beast, the 666. Everything will be under his control. There will be no food, no house, no jobs, no water, nothing can be availed if one has no mark on their foreheads or right hand. Anybody that doesn’t go along with global new world order tyranny will be watched, will be controlled, will be tracked.

The story revolves around a young girl who grew up in a Christian family but she delays her acceptance of salvation because there are many things that she’s not yet ready to give up. One night when she woke up she realized that her mom was missing which also gave her an idea that rapture has taken place which caused millions of people missing. It’s a sign for the rise of the new world order, The reign of the Antichrist has come and is starting to dominate the nation and the world. Every people shall receive the 666 mark for there will be no food, no house, no jobs, no water, nothing can be availed if one has no mark on their foreheads or right hand. As she left the house trying to seek refuge from her grandpa (the closest kin) and her closest friends, she was being chased by the “666soldiers”. Later, She was terrified to know that her loved ones including her grandpa and close friends already received the mark on their foreheads and right hands. She remembered what her mother told her when she was still young about its consequences and she did not want it to happen to her. At the end, after being chased by the soldiers, she was caught and brought to their headquarters. She was given an option to accept the mark or be killed if she didn’t. She was able to witness how people who refused to accept the mark wearing white gowns and tortured to death. It is a test of faith for her whether to accept the mark or refuse it. Accept and live with the new order rule but suffer the everlasting fire of hell or refuse and suffer the punishment of the beast but assured of a life eternal in heaven when she dies./end

it’s not yet clear in my head how they’re gonna get persecuted…like in what way?
btw, the girl in the story decided NOT to recieve the mark and die instead. Do u have any suggestions on how to handle this scene? a good dialogue maybe? i wanted to put more drama at the end like flashbacks, etc. I need suggestions on how will i end the story before the ending credits :frowning: hope you guys can help me out.[i]

i hope you get what i’m trying to convey here. THANKS A LOT![/i]

#277

i’ve been developing a story for an animated short for the past few months… i “finished” the script a bit ago, and am looking for feedback from anyone willing to read it (only 5.5 pages!). i don’t want to influence anyone’s interpretation by giving a “tell-all” summary, so i’ll preface the link by saying that the piano plays a big part in the film, and that i’d like the visual style to resemble a moving painting.

“prelude script”

in addition, i’ve been maintaining a blog, which features concept drawings of the two main characters as well as a YouTube clip testing out my painterly style on some DV footage.

i appreciate any feedback ThinkStory or anyone else would like to provide. thank you in advance!

jim

#278

Hi Thinkstory.
I’m having some trouble developing a story for my master thesis. I have a general concept, but that’s about it. My strength lies in modeling/lighting and rendering, so I’d like to show off those atrributes. I’ve been reading Sherry Tuckles’s books on the creation of a Second Self through an individual’s interaction with the computer. In my story the main character is interacting with her second ‘identity’ through a mirror. The main character becomes envious of her second self, and which ultimately lends to her own undoing. In the end the audience realizes that the “mirror” was actually a computer screen.
I’d like to keep the action minimum due to my not great animation skills. I’d like the story to show the passing of time. The main character’s health slowly deteriorates from envy. But as far as the action/interaction between the characters… I 'm really stumped. I could really use some feedback on how to get ideas, to just give up and start over, etc. I really like this premise, and would like the story to have a psychological undercurrent. Thanks so much for creating this thread and helping out the writing challenged.

#279

Hi theanimeister,

a way to end a story like that will be to frame a theme around it.
It’s philosophical, so wrap it up that way. Think about what’s been
holding your character back, tying her to her world, her values.
You mentioned that “there are many things that’s she’s not yet
ready to give up.” Do you know what those things are?

Make them explicit and bring that up again when she makes
her DECISION, and have the character’s conflict revolve around
whether to give in to temptation or sacrifice but find what
she’s been looking for or has been running away from.

Does that help, does it make sense?

ThinkStory

#280

Hi jipe,

I read your script, interesting concept!

The main thing I would recommend to focus on is the presentation.
(Though usually easier said than done.) It’s particularly important
for your story because it’s more driven by emotions of the characters
than the events around them.

The music will play a huge part in your story. I’m imagining
that there’ll be a mix of confusing, messy sounds and some
bold, crisp ones, keep those two distinguished very clearly for
the audience.

Also wondering what are your plans for color and whether or
not it will work into your story.

Another thing is when I read it, the images that first appeared
in my mind were kind of fresh and metro, matching with the
new era of jazz but, I checked out your blog, and found it
resembling more of the older, traditional, classical kind.
Which is pretty interesting.

Really up to you on which way you go but if you have more
concepts posted up, let me know, I’d be interested to check it out.

If there’s anything specific you would like more feedback on,
just ask.

ThinkStory