Still Life: Revenge

#10

Mmmm… I think the cupid and the inlaid box will almost definitely go, not sure about the bottle, depends on whether it fits into the reworked composition… not sure about the rest. It’s going to look a lot different, though.

Edit: Image Removed

#11

Now the type writer is very well, maybe you should touch the voodoo doll a little bit too, it doesn’t seem like a voodoo doll, you need pieces of nails and some natural hair attached to a voodoo doll (eheehe behold the voodoooooo) and mostly they use wax to make a real horrorfull doll…

#12

Hi Redogre, thanks for your thoughts. I want to keep the doll cloth and the hair a little surreal for effect. I’m afraid a wax doll’s features would be obscured by the dust.

Anyway, here’s the latest rendition. I tried to implement as many ideas from the critiques as practical. Still a WIP, though, so additional thoughts are very welcome.

#13

Now that is something creepy…

You should think of moving to the gallery forum soon:)
Well not soon, now!

#14

nice, i like the effect it gives the viewer.

#15

Wohohohohoow, nice… That is intense.

Good texture on the doll too, I like it. You’re doing something right. When I look at it, I feel fear and exitement, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re waching a good horror film. That’s great.

#16

Thanks, I really appreciate everyone’s help with this… I like it better this way, too. Please let me know if you have further suggestions. :slight_smile:

#17

The only small crit is have is the balance of the composition, there’s a lot of detail near the doll/typewriter, then empty space and some bottles. Maybe it would be more balanced if you moved the paper/bottles a bit.

Other than that, i think this version will make an impact ^0^
It’s a good image as it is now, and the horror/revange are also very clear ^0^

#18

I think it’s all down to the lighting. I prefer your first render if it had more suspense created through pools of light. The new manic doll make the image more amusing than frightening…to me at least. I wonder if you ran light across the typewriter you’d get some sinister shadows? All the elements are there, great modelling, textures etc. Just needs the right lighting. Good work.

#19

Thanks, Jawine. I agree. That space was left open to accommodate the black widow spider I’m modeling… or trying to model… currently on attempt #10. Some things look deceptively simple. :slight_smile:

#20

Thanks for your comments, UK3D. I thought the light in the first render was pretty flat, so I really don’t want to go back to it. I do like your idea of making the shadows longer/more prominent, though. I’ll experiment with lowering the angle of the light to see if it improves the render.

I know, I think the hair on the voodoo doll is silly (clownish), too, but I kind of like it that way. I may try something a little more fitting to the scene. :slight_smile:

#21

Okay, here’s an update… fixed the doll’s hair, added a spider, and changed the lighting angle to creepify the shadows.

#22

The spider turned out good, and the darker lighting works better. Good job, make sure to put it in the Finished 3D Gallery.

#23

Thanks! :slight_smile:

#24

Hey,
The changes you made really impact the viewer. The subject was too cluttered in the original render; but the second ‘stab’ at it is so much better. Rock on :}

#25

Thanks, crashd. :slight_smile: I got some really great feedback here; too bad this forum isn’t more active. I like the new version better, too… the old one kind of makes me cringe now. <g>

#26

That’s a very elegant solution. You’re right, marcia. I’m certainly one of those folks who needs to get over here more often.

#27

Yep, much better now. Nice and creepy and the toned down hair stops me from giggling. Just one small suggestion, the pencil could be used to focus attention on the doll. Currently it points out of the image which leads you away from the subject. If you point it towards the dolls head? Good stuff

#28

Perhaps the “red” pencil should be made more red. It comes across as pink. The writing clearly is red and the lead color doesn’t match the writing. A few teeth marks might not hurt either.

The change to the lighting made ALL the difference! Very creepy picture.

#29

Wow! Thanks for all the great suggestions. You guys have really helped a lot.

I discovered that the pencil had an extra layer of dust on it at a lower level that was probably responsible for making it appear a bit pink. It’s actually pointed toward the key (can’t read it at this size, but the pencil says “Red Herring No. 2”), which leads to the bottles, which loops around to the spider, which leads back to the doll… so in a way, it is pointing at the doll. I hope some of these things are more noticeable when (if?) I ever get to the hi res render.

I seem to be causing myself more problems by continuing to tweak the image, so I think the next render will probably be the final version (like I thought I had twice before! LOL.). I should have one last update in a few days.

Thanks, everyone, for your help and support. It’s wonderful to hang out with such creative people. :slight_smile: