Still Life: Revenge

#8

Hi Jawine,

(Don’t I know you from gfx?). Thanks for your input. :slight_smile:

I think I understand what you’re saying, because that was what I was trying to do but didn’t quite succeed at. The novel chapter, letters, and envelopes all give clues to what’s going on, but that doesn’t help if you can’t read them.

I agree that the voodoo doll needs to make a stronger statement; the pins are a little weak. How about this: In addition to the pins, maybe I could stab the letter opener through the doll’s heart (probably a different letter opener, the current one’s design is too busy for that, imo)? That might draw the viewer’s attention more quickly. The cupid was supposed to be counterpoint to the voodoo doll, but I don’t think it works well in the composition and so far, no one has picked up on the symbolism–maybe because they can’t read the stuff on desk. I thought maybe I’d replace it with a dead black widow spider, which may be more symbolic. Also, the colors of the spider would echo the black and red in the typewriter, but the size wouldn’t overwhelm the image. Since the spider is small, I could give it enough negative space that it doesn’t get lost, maybe also putting it on an envelope, or something, so it doesn’t blend in with the dust on the desk.

Any thoughts?

#9

Yeah i’m jawine from gfxartist ^0^ I wondered if you were the marcia from gfxartist but i couldn’t really find out by reading the information in your profile ^0^

The letteropener stabbed through the doll is already much better :slight_smile: Maybe it should stab right through a valentines card that’s been ripped in pieces as well?

I’m not sure yet what else you want to do with the picture, there are too much objects in the original render, so which ones will stay and which ones will go?

#10

Mmmm… I think the cupid and the inlaid box will almost definitely go, not sure about the bottle, depends on whether it fits into the reworked composition… not sure about the rest. It’s going to look a lot different, though.

Edit: Image Removed

#11

Now the type writer is very well, maybe you should touch the voodoo doll a little bit too, it doesn’t seem like a voodoo doll, you need pieces of nails and some natural hair attached to a voodoo doll (eheehe behold the voodoooooo) and mostly they use wax to make a real horrorfull doll…

#12

Hi Redogre, thanks for your thoughts. I want to keep the doll cloth and the hair a little surreal for effect. I’m afraid a wax doll’s features would be obscured by the dust.

Anyway, here’s the latest rendition. I tried to implement as many ideas from the critiques as practical. Still a WIP, though, so additional thoughts are very welcome.

#13

Now that is something creepy…

You should think of moving to the gallery forum soon:)
Well not soon, now!

#14

nice, i like the effect it gives the viewer.

#15

Wohohohohoow, nice… That is intense.

Good texture on the doll too, I like it. You’re doing something right. When I look at it, I feel fear and exitement, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re waching a good horror film. That’s great.

#16

Thanks, I really appreciate everyone’s help with this… I like it better this way, too. Please let me know if you have further suggestions. :slight_smile:

#17

The only small crit is have is the balance of the composition, there’s a lot of detail near the doll/typewriter, then empty space and some bottles. Maybe it would be more balanced if you moved the paper/bottles a bit.

Other than that, i think this version will make an impact ^0^
It’s a good image as it is now, and the horror/revange are also very clear ^0^

#18

I think it’s all down to the lighting. I prefer your first render if it had more suspense created through pools of light. The new manic doll make the image more amusing than frightening…to me at least. I wonder if you ran light across the typewriter you’d get some sinister shadows? All the elements are there, great modelling, textures etc. Just needs the right lighting. Good work.

#19

Thanks, Jawine. I agree. That space was left open to accommodate the black widow spider I’m modeling… or trying to model… currently on attempt #10. Some things look deceptively simple. :slight_smile:

#20

Thanks for your comments, UK3D. I thought the light in the first render was pretty flat, so I really don’t want to go back to it. I do like your idea of making the shadows longer/more prominent, though. I’ll experiment with lowering the angle of the light to see if it improves the render.

I know, I think the hair on the voodoo doll is silly (clownish), too, but I kind of like it that way. I may try something a little more fitting to the scene. :slight_smile:

#21

Okay, here’s an update… fixed the doll’s hair, added a spider, and changed the lighting angle to creepify the shadows.

#22

The spider turned out good, and the darker lighting works better. Good job, make sure to put it in the Finished 3D Gallery.

#23

Thanks! :slight_smile:

#24

Hey,
The changes you made really impact the viewer. The subject was too cluttered in the original render; but the second ‘stab’ at it is so much better. Rock on :}

#25

Thanks, crashd. :slight_smile: I got some really great feedback here; too bad this forum isn’t more active. I like the new version better, too… the old one kind of makes me cringe now. <g>

#26

That’s a very elegant solution. You’re right, marcia. I’m certainly one of those folks who needs to get over here more often.

#27

Yep, much better now. Nice and creepy and the toned down hair stops me from giggling. Just one small suggestion, the pencil could be used to focus attention on the doll. Currently it points out of the image which leads you away from the subject. If you point it towards the dolls head? Good stuff