Short Film: Storyboard

#21

An excellent crit of the story. This is what I was waiting for!!

I agree on much of what you say. A few simple adjustments could be made to easily bring more depth to the short. For instance inserting a quick view of the tail of the plane. Which has a sign “Pro Skydivers Club” on it. Or the character’s shirt could have a pro skydivers club badge of some sort. And at the end the badge could have been torn off his shirt and will gently float down into his lap.

We are looking at the first storyboard draft and first animatic draft. I expect revisions to take place.

#22

Glad to help. You don’t have to take too much time on it, but having some idea of the greater world around the character can help.

From the excellent book, Acting for Animators, the idea is that whenever an actor appears on scene, they must have just come from somewhere and their entrance reflects that: they arrive in costume in a particular frame of mind. When they exit the scene, it is because they are going somewhere and going to do something. We see a slice of their life and each edge of the slice is flavoured by what is on the other side of the cut.

So this can be shown in action, in setting/set dressing, costume and even as subtle as scene colour choices and camera angles. Once you know where the guy came from and where he is going, the little details to add should be pretty obvious.

I’m looking forward to the storyboard.

Peter

#23

i agree with first-last scene notation…

i have started working some ideas into a rough SB
and i am a bit behind because of stupid ppms for a commercial work
so i was away from the studio most of the day…
but here are the first 6 pages i finished …

this is not anything final because we must make it final with revisions and corrections :slight_smile:
as soon as i get some rest today i will finish and scan the other panels (for scenes3,5,6)
scene 4 need more thinking and i sugest we start gathering our ideas and choosing the best or at least the most certain ideas for that scene… (diver obstacles)…

i though for the last scene which is 6 after seeing him that we pan north so we see the sky…but with the smoke out of the hero…

this way we have first scene (quiet relaxing sky) last scene (quiets sky with smoke<–fire)

so in a mathematical form the film has an input of order and

film(order)=chaos
not so dramatic tho…

J…
so lets dissect these ideas for the sb…

#24

blah
blah
blah
blah

#25

Great stuff!! I’m going to print them out and look at them more closely. I’m seeing a few possible questionable spots around when he jumps out of the plane. Its a bit hard to grasp what is going on.

I’ll wait on a full crit until they are all posted, but excellent work.

#26

i will put descriptions and audio info but i want to finish all of them to add …

#27

Update from John.

after all it is a first preview …

but it is 25 pages :slight_smile:
which means it has alot of info for reuse and rearrangement…

as i told u i used

bird1,flies(insects),ufo,electricity from cables (in that order)
the damages that our hero gets…

#28

I think this would be funny to add 2 more birds to your original bird idea with the poop.

This would allow us the proper support for the main character.

Anyhow, just let me know if thats too much or if any other ideas come about with this input.

Thanks.

#29

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