Jim,
I agree with everything Carl has said, ‘pose to pose’ is just one method of getting to where you are now. What you have is very promising and just needs further refinement. Don’t worry too much about snappier movement just yet. Concentrate on the acting and physical observation of the character. This is the phase where you clown about in front of the mirror (or video yourself).
Here are some observations (caveat, I’m no expert)
Before you go any further, give Schlitzy some shoulder bones, which are the parents of your arm bones. You won’t be able to hunch his shoulders without them. Lots of people overlook the importance of shoulder movement with the arms, they are very expressive.
Think about offsetting some of the actions. For example, when he clears his throat. At the moment, it’s a straight forward A-B operation, essentially your first pass. His hand and head start their movement towards each other and meet at virtually the same time. Try delaying the start of the arm movement, as it is, it’s too slow and mechanical. Arms, hands and legs tend to move faster than the torso). Exaggerate the pose more, hunch his shoulders for the cough. Try leaving the right arm roughly where it is after the cough, it doesn’t have to go back to a default position. Also, this will give more impact to him throwing his arms back as he starts to sing.
Floatiness. Yes there’s quite a bit of this, but I think it’s because poses are blending into one another. Back to the same example as before, hold that cough pose a little more statically. The floatiness in this area, is because the cough pose slowly blends into the ‘oh’ pose of him starting to sing. Although you have the head thrown back at the end to emphasize his launch into song, it probably needs the whole body arched to give it real impact.
Of course, I’ve also been studying drunk behaviour. They do move more slowly but not always. They tend to stand off kilter, always gradually keeling over until they quickly catch themselves to prevent losing balance completely. I guess on the whole their movements are sleepy and deliberate, but sometimes they have moments of lucidity.
Okay, I’ve whittled on long enough, I hope this has made some sense.