[Schlitzy Screentest contest] Cosmonaut's WIP

#1

Well, I guess I have to enter now since Obnomauk created the official announcement. Golden Schlitzy here I come :thumbsup:

The premise of my animation is that schlitzy walks into the screen test drunk (of course) dressed sort of like a pirate (eye patch perhaps) dragging a beer bottle in one hand and a wooden sword in the other. Schlitzy really wants to be in a pirate movie. Before he turns to face the camera he throws his bottle offscreen and we hear a crash and a woman screen. Schlitzy doesn’t notice. While the narrator explains the story (extremely short synopsis since we only have 30 secs) schlitzy practices his drunken sword play. The narrator then asks schlitzy to pick up the pick-axe behind him and show off his skills by removing a diamond from a fake rock sitting on the floor. Schlitzy blows him off and tries to use his toy sword to remove the diamond. The diamond comes flying out and whacks him in the head, knocking him out.

May need to cut some stuff out to keep it under 30 seconds. Most of the props I plan to use are already available or easy enough to model quickly. I plan on working on the storyboard tonight and the animation this weekend.

#2

Cool! Glad to have you aboard. I have been busy doing "real"work, but hope to get back to Schlitzy soon.

Your story sounds like a lot of fun. And it sounds even longer than mine!:slight_smile:

Looking forward to your posts.

Jim

#3

Thanks Jim. I’d really like to see some more work on your entry. It was shaping up nicely. I’m maybe half done with the set/props/lighting after about an hour of work last night. Once that’s finished I’m going to go with the 3d storyboard approach to save myself some time (I’m ok at drawing but it takes me a while). I should have something ready to post this weekend.

Kevin

#4

So I finished up my set and storyboard this weekend. This is what I have so far …

Storyboard

What do you guys think? My next step is to record the dialog and work out the initial blocking/animation in stepped mode (I screwed up doing the storyboard).

#5

cosmonaut,

It looks very good! Nice set you have there. An d ireally like the B&W look.

I would like to see Schlitzy’s eye patch earlier than you show in the 5th frame, to help tell the story that he wants to be a pirate instead.

Can’t wait to see your bocking in phase.

Jim

#6

Hello!

I love the final gag where he knocks himself out with the diamond! :smiley: Simple yet effective!

Concerning the rock the diamond is stuck in, you might want to examine Stephen Millingen’s big round boulder (used in his Mosey II short). You can download the model here:


This big round rock model comes with an excellent procedural material. You might want to “borrow” just the material, and apply it onto your own model.

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,

Carl Raillard

#7

I really like the tossing the bottle idea with the accompanying off stage yelp and his willful desire to play the pirate. The eye patch is a nice touch too.
I look forward to the next stage.
:thumbsup:

#8

Thanks for the replies.

Jim, you’re right about the eye patch, maybe I’ll put it on the other eye. Or maybe I’ll have him look at the camera as he’s walking in (flash a big goofy/drunk grin).

Carl, thanks for the texture link, I’ll try it out tonight (I was using something off the AM cd but I don’t like it very much). That boulder looks pretty nice. I also grabbed the lights and barrel off the cd.

Pequod, thanks. I’d like to see more work on your entry. It was looking really good :thumbsup:

I’m going to work out the dialog tonight (gotta stop by Best Buy after work and buy a microphone for my pc) and try to get the major poses blocked and timed. I might even go so far as to film some reference. I plan to have a first pass to post by the end of the week.

Kevin

#9

Haha, that is hilarious. I also love the part where he throws the bottle off screen.

#10

Ok, finally finished the first pass. Here’s what I’ve got so far (Rendered during the super bowl). Let me know what you think…still needs a whole lotta work. I’m not sure Schlitz is the only thing in his system now :wink:

Schlitzy First Pass

Kevin

#11

Looks good so far Kevin.
Since I’ve managed to turn myself into the resident critic here, I don’t see why you should escape my pearls of wisdom.:cry:

I think he should throw the bottle over his shoulder rather than forward. It looks less vicious that way and more absent minded.
And … maybe you should have a little more pretend swordplay from him as this is by far the cutest part of the piece … in my humble opinion.

BTW, the swig of the bottle is spot on
:thumbsup:

#12

Kevin,

Looks real good for a first pass! My favorite part right now is his drinking pose. He’s really chugging it down!

At first I didn’t understand what he was doing with the bottle, but the I remembered that he throws it off stage. But since it never left his hand I was confused. I’m sure that will be taken care of.

The part that I would like to see improved would be where he tries to pop out the diamond with his sword. It seems to happen too quickly to understand. Maybe add a little bend to the sword and more effort on Schlitzy’s part to prepare us for him getting knocked in the head.

Nice job. You work quickly!

Jim

#13

Thanks for the replies.

Jim: I had to work quick, I started late :wink: . I actually did most of it last week after work, I didn’t have much free time over the weekend. It’ll probably work out that way this week too. Oh well, I must say animating can be a lot of fun. I used to have the bottle release in there but I got tired of moving the bottle keys around. I just figured I’d put it back in on a later pass. And I did the least amount of work on the end and it really shows. Overall I need to add more contrast to the whole animation, I’m just not sure how to do that yet. Guess it just comes with practice.

Pequod: Please, please critique my work as much as you want. Thanks for the tip on the bottle throw, it definately looks too malicious right now. I’ll try and throw it over his shoulder like you suggest. I really want to convey his absent-mindedness.

I think I’m going to cut out the whole nodding off bit in the middle. It reads really poorly and was just me being lazy. With that gone I can extend the sword play and also the bit at the end with the diamond and also simplify things. Right now it feels like I have too many things happening too fast to try and keep it under 30 secs.

And thanks both of you for the compliment on the swig, I guess I have a lot of practice at that
:beer:

Kevin

#14

Hey Kevin,
It looks good. Good gags, good job bringing the idea of him being a willfull pirate.

You know what they say about mimicry being the sincerist form of flattery. Well I just realized that I’ve pretty much lifted your set directly for my entry (jeez I’m a dork). So I’ll be changing that right quick. Sorry 'bout that, didn’t mean to be riding on your coat tails, I wasn’t thinking.

Anyway can’t wait to see your finished product. Good luck!
-Alonso

#15

Hate to do this but I’m gonna have to bow out as well. I simply ran out of time. Work started kicking my butt in the last two weeks and left me with no time to properly finish pirate schlitzy. What little work I did left me with little improvement over the existing animation I put up and no ending. Guess this’ll teach me to enter these things too late. Congrats to both Steve and Jim for finishing 2 really fine entries. :beer:

Kevin

#16

Don’t worry about the deadline Kevin.:slight_smile: I’d like to see how yours turns out. (no pressure)

#17

Thanks for your interest Stephen, I still plan on finishing at some point (especially since I already put in a lot of work). Things are slowing down a bit at work so I should have more free time. I really should spend some time learning the fundamentals before jumping into something as elaborate as this :shrug:

Kevin

#18

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