I think you’ll find the Animation 2020 project will address those fears of yours. They intend to work on the deformation and caching performance as part of this project. The DepsGraph has been rewritten to be multithreaded and they’re beginning to roll out the Intel Threading Building Blocks library throughout the application to make as much of Blender multithreaded as possible.
If you try the latest Functions Branch build you’ll find it is using all your cores for moving particles around. I don’t expect Everything Nodes will have any problem with deformation when it’s finished.
Black Friday Sale:
While you’re waiting for Bodypaint to be refreshed there’s BPainter.