It is very difficult to crit something like this because I am unsure if it is your personal style, or beginning drawing. But assuming that you have not done a lot of portrait drawing I will suggest that you work on your shading style. Personally I have never liked the look that you get from a pencil shader, and I don’t believe in using one I think they make the picture turn out dirty, and you can get every level of darkness with a little control over the pencil. Unless you are a big fan of the outlining technique, I suggest you try and create all the shadows without the outline, they flatten out the work and this face does not have much depth to it yet.
Something that I, and many others, have delt with in the beginning is learning to draw what you see, not what you think you see. Look at the difference between the shading of the chest in the photo versus the drawing. Try basing your drawing by finding the darkest dark and the lightest light in the photo and work from there. Notice how you drew the clevage versus the photo and pay attention to how the light is hitting her shape. And don’t worry about drawing too much, the eraser should be used as a tool as well to show highlights. The picture in all has a great start, you will just need to rework it, and rework it, and so on until you get to a point that you feel it is finished, or Christmas comes up.
I think you are off to a good start, and I can definately see her in the drawing. By all means, where ever you get in the drawing, give it to her, she will be amazed by it.