Mini Movie - C&C please

#1

Here’s an animation I’ve been working on, half minute long. C&C appreciated!

http://www.pixelmech.com/movies/rr34.mov

Thanks

Tom

#2

Looking really good so far . What’s the plot ?

#3

Thanks :slight_smile: Plot…well, what you see is the plot - that’s pretty much the whole movie. It’s a mini movie for the A:M mini-movie contest (Unless I decide to enter a different one, not sure yet). You can read about the contest at:

http://www.hash.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=49&t=13576&st=0#entry97031

Tom

#4

I like it so far! Great concept. I love the modeling.

Even though it was a robot, I didn’t find the red guy’s walk very convincing. In particular, I didn’t buy his weight. I guess I’d like to see the forward leg straighter on the contact, an Up key, a straight leg on the passing position – it looks like your down looks good. Maybe even a little more hip movement, offset with shoulder (sort of the shoulder movement you did for the white robot).

Also, the robots seem to do a lot of twining in their poses, you might want check that out.

#5

Thanks Paul - that version is pretty old, you can compare it to the one below which is not the latest but pretty close. I’m getting close to being finished with it.

http://www.pixelmech.com/movies/testrender1.mov

#6

Thanks for posting the revision.

It’s looking great. I really had fun watching it! Here are a few of my suggestions.

Personally, I’d still like the walk tweaked more – more me, at least, it’s not completely selling the weight. I’m not getting a feel for the robot sinking into his legs in his steps. For instance, at the contact point (309.03), I’d like to see the front leg extended more, so that I get a better sense of that leg bending when he rests his full weight on it. Even the passing (321.03), the down leg could be more straight, to show contrast when he does go down.

Particularly, between 512 and 588 I’m still feeling you’re letting the computer do too many inbetweens for you – the motion still feels too spliney.

The pose when he’s pointing (starting around 644) for me doesn’t read as good as it should in silhouette. I think that since it’s a major point in your story, it should really be displayed dynamically and with more personality. Actually, at that same frame, the other robot’s silhouette could be worked on as well.

I’m still seeing twining in a lot of your poses. You might check those out.

In reference to poses, there are a lot of parallel lines, particularly with the legs. I think if you adjusted even the feet and hips, the standing poses would look a little more dynamic. In particular with the sleeping robot: with the twining, parallel lines, and such a static/stable stance, I’m not feeling a whole lot of appeal for that sleeping guy’s poses.

Just my opinion. It’s already a really fun piece to watch. I really enjoyed your concept.

#7

Thanks for taking the time to comment Paul. You make some really good points I am going to go back and look at. I had kind of been lost on what to do next since I’ve been looking at this thing so long. The twinning is something I had not been thinking about enough, obviously, and making those silhouettes strong, especially the important ones. And thanks for the compliment! Back to work…

#8

Heya Pixel -
If this is your entry into the mini contest I haven’t a chance! :slight_smile:

I like it alot. My first impression is that it takes too long for the second character to enter the scene. The robot is sleeping and we get that, now move on to the next action (just so we don’t lose interest). Perhaps it would make more sense if he were leaning on something as he slept. Maybe robots sleep that way but it looks odd to me.

Great job and I wait for updates.

#9

Bah, be serious Doug! I’ve seen some of the stuff you’ve done too. Anyway, I’ve seen what Xtaz is doing, and I have no chance! :smiley: Thanks for the compliment.

I kind of agree with you on the entrance of red. That might change with music attached - I’m not sure. At this point I’m not sure I know how to remove the time at the beginning hehe. That’s on my list of things to look at though, and thanks for the tip.

#10

Here’s an update, I tried to work on some of the suggestions made. The walk in the beginning… I’ve struggled with that and struggled with it. I’m not sure if I can do it any better without tearing it down and redoing it…and…I’m not sure I’m up for that! (at this point, I’m not!)

The time at the beginning… let’s just say I don’t think it’s too long. We’re so used to action action action - but something is happening there - he is sleeping. I changed some things, but sometimes time leads to tension, or other things.

Worked on some other poses and etc.

http://www.pixelmech.com/movies/rr54.mov

SORRY posted the wrong link!

#11

I agree with Doug about the beginning. I’m thinking this scene would be tighter if you started later, around 300. If it started at that point, we still have enough time to register that he’s up there sleeping by himself and that he’s approached by a red robot.

What happened to the end?!! I hope you didn’t cut it! I really liked the lightening and the twitching foot. It was very zippy. A nice punch-line.

#12

Sorry guys, I posted the WRONG link - doh. The beginning has some different action in it so let me know what you think. There’s also the question of what is that thing (the cloud) moving toward you as well. Link is correct now in the post above.

#13

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