I was actually listening to Mass Effect 3 OST when I noticed the plug. Nice job, and good thing to take inspiration from.
From a framing and camera point of view I'd keep in mind a few tricks:
1) When going for POV scenes like the shot from the bridge the safe bet is to use a human perspective. Your camera seems fairly high up and oddly angled. If you were to lower it to eyesight height and lengthen the lens a little bit to a 35-50mm (closer to human) it'd take on a more dramatic note and become a lot warmer.
2) POV cameras like the above are best made to fit an observer pattern, it helps immersion and empathy with the shot.
If you have what is clearly a human POV camera on a busy bridge where only staff is admitted chances are everybody will be busy.
Unless you have a detail of a monitor or something like that in it, and play with a focus pull, have the viewer moving along as if he was walking somewhere but at a slow pace and with a slight pan as if he was purposefully slowing down to take the sight in.
When you want to transmit that something is worth stopping for and staring at you want to do so in a way that mimics how you would actually do that if you were there.
You'll get an excuse for an immersive and moving camera too, static shots should be used sparingly. Don't be afraid of cutting your framing, you don't need to keep the whole ship in view all the time and therefore force the camera perspective and position out of it, it only takes away from the sense of scale.
The way it is now you are clearly trying to show the whole ship through a fast move (judging by the scale of things the people pushing that dolly would be running like hell, or it'd have to be a wire cam) AND a very wide angle (too wide IMO).
Turntables are for that, shots should describe mood, scale, and the relationship between observer and observed.
3) When doing more design/architecture shot, like your first one, play with the framing. Don't be afraid of having a detail shortly too big in frame, and don't leave the camera static.
A very slow tilt with a dynamic presence in the frame will almost always establish scale and the perspective of architecture better than a static shot forecfully framed. Movement also means you have hundreds of beautiful frames to look at and a few can be daring composition wise, instead of having to nail a single one with a moving subject, which is almost impossible.
4) You already have two scale focused subjects with wide-ish lenses in the first and last.
The middle shot is unnecessary IMO. A nice static (as in no dolly or tilt) shot with all movment horizontal is good complimention to your opening and closing shots, but it doesn't need to be the whole ship (even if the whole height only) again.
You could have a detail visible and follow it with a pan. A person behind a window, a moving part in the ship, and don't be afraid to use a longer lens and closing in on that one, you want the variety IMO.
5) Variety in movment.
The above gives you a tilt, to a pan, to a pan and dolly, with three different lenses and level of details, moving from architectural, to a more intimade long lens, to a POV lens to hit that sense of wonder of seeing something like the Normandy approaching.
You also go from the cold and sterile of establishing architecture to the warmth of a human POV.
If you're after having fun with a sequence and some camera work, don't focus on showing all the love in the model and craftmanship first. Block the sequence out until you have stunning camera work, and then you can figure out what's in sight and distribute your work accordingly.
For details and showing off models you can always add turntables and detail shots later.
Edit: corrected a few silly mistakes and mis-ordering of the shots I was addressing.