Lighted - animated short - the story


#1

This is the story of an animated short film called “Lighted”.

if you have any suggestion or idea you are free to comment.

http://www.anibar.com/Lighted.pdf


#2

I like the story idea a lot. I can see great potential in the story. Have you started developing any storyboards yet? Are you doing this yourself or with other people?

About the story:
Very nice and simple. It seems you are keeping the characters and scene simple. Which is usually good when developing a short. Good luck with it. Are you going to post up the storyboards at all?

Junior


#3

Hi Juniordebo

Thanks for the comment.

For the storyboard I am currently working to design the characters " you can check out the cleaner artwork on my blog www.anibar.com/blog/.

Don’t by afraid to make suggestions.


#4

Heh! I like it. Nice twist in the end.
Personally, I don’t like monologues. It just looks like a bad way of telling the characters emotions. I think you could easily tell the Cleaners emotions, just by his bodylanguage and his actions.

I really like the idea of the lighing-guy controling the light, but I think it’ll be hard for you to sell the idea of him, not knowing the show ended. After all, that would be pretty evident.
Another way of ending it, but with the same idea, could be if he sat with his back against the lights on a chair and tilted back and forth, while reading a book or something, still with music in his ears. Then the director could come up to him and ask why he hadn’t shut it off and cleaned his place… or something like that.

Just a suggestion :slight_smile:

But anyways, I really like the story as it is, so good luck with it :slight_smile:

EDit.
I just browsed through your blog and saw your character sketch of the Cleaner.
One thing I’d like to say is, I think you should characterize him a little bit more, for instance look at the humans in Ratatouille and also the people in the street for the UP trailer.
If you come to close to realism, while still being miles away, it tends to end up looking like a failed try to make realism, so instead I’d suggest to make a concious characterize decision, and make him enough “toony” to push the look aways from the “bad realism” boarder.

Hope it makes sence :slight_smile:


#5

Thanks Christoffer, I have now some new ideas for this short thanks you helped my a lot :slight_smile:

And about the character I have the same idea to make the character more realistic but to stay in the cartoony world I just have to change the eyes.

Keep in touch

Rron :arteest:


#6

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