Rob, in order to convey the importance of the events in your scene I think you need to pull your shot in close, right in amongst the astro-archaeologists (or whatever they’re called), and focus on a key moment of discovery – something that perhaps has indicated “this is a trap,” so you can feature the horrified look of dawning recognition on the faces of the scientists. In film script terms, this would be “plot point one” – a moment that changes the direction of the film. I haven’t read the particular work you’re referencing, so I’m not sure how closely you plan to stick to the novel in what you portray, but let’s presume there’s something about the artifacts (or the arrangement of key items in the scene) that gives a strong sense of “there’s something not quite right about this” – the precursor to that “OH … MY … GOD” moment.
The visuals that popped into my head when I read your synopsis about the planet being essentially a “lure” for other species was of this vast dig that has turned up skeleton after skeleton … and all of these skeletons turn out to be arranged radially … pointing in towards this weird alien artifact that the scientists have just uncovered … and, in uncovering it, activated it, sending off some visible signal to the older Borg-like species. And the dawning look of horror on the faces of the scientists is that the alien skeletons they’ve uncovered are actually evidence of an assault on this signal device, trying to turn it off!
Anyway, the point of this bit of “imaginative apocrypha” being: I think the key to excavating an iconic image from the storyline you’re working from is to key in on that image – a “reaction shot,” or whatever – that best represents a plot-point in the novel. What you seem to have at the moment are a lot of nice sketches for some promising “space art,” but your source material begs to have a dramatic moment brought to life … and, in doing so, I think you’ll stand apart from all the bits of eye candy the rest of us are feverishly working on.
However you decide to approach it, I can’t wait to see how you manage some of the fx in XSI. Should be a real treat!