I think this is some really wonderful stuff, you’ve got a real gift!
Both versions are very interesting. I would almost want a mixture of both renderings as a final. I love the “ghostly” feeling of the secong one, and I love the electrifying feel of the first. If you combine them into ghostly electrifying then I think you will have a winner.
Also, I think the audience would like to see more of the ship in the second draft. That scene would work great in a film because it would slowly move in, but in a still shot you might want to see atleaset 75% of the ship.
These are just thoughts of course, not necessities. I am sure your work will be remarkable nonetheless.
Keep it up!
-Dean


