Grand Space Opera 2D Entry: Mark Okon


Hi Airborn,

about the smoke trails I would say that they draw to much attention. I think your own guess is right > the smoke shrouds to much of your environment which you´ve established very well.

I still would keep the idea of showing the flight path of the projectiles. But I think regarding the distance (which is very far) the smoke in the foreground have to be disintegrated allready. That means I would start painting the visible part of your smoke trails probably in the middle part of the picture. The flight path itself is maybe a bit to extreme. I would use that kind of path if the target is moving. If you soften this just a bit it will work fine.

I like very much that you brought back some parts of your big ship at the top (left side) of your image. That´s a very good idea. I would add some more of those parts like antenas or something like that.

Maybe it could be an idea to establish a fourth fighter at the left side > he could be shown trimed because he straightly coming from the backside into the scene.

I like watching this thread very much and look forward to your next development.



Not hear for crits or suggestions…just for the art,I think this is a wonderful piece,the layout the tension in the scene,the color tones the designs,the whole mood and style are excellent…I’ll be back for more,very well done in all regards Mark…:thumbsup: :thumbsup:


newcenturydsn: Thanks for the support :slight_smile:

cgkrusty: I also feel that the smoke is a little distracting, and the story needs to be a little defined. I feel that my story is changing with each update, so I feel that I need to revisit my original approach in terms of storyline, which was originally a civilian revolt.

montclaris: I was also thinking about having the missiles coming from space (from above) and this way it will leave more space under the riders. However, I feel that the missile attack will disconnect itself from the riders, or it will suggest the idea that the riders are late for battle since there is only three of them ( or what will be a select few).

Fahrija: A fourth rider I think will improve the distraction from the smoke trail. Based on everyone’s suggestions I should be able to fix it accordingly, and also this large ship is suppose to be buidlings but I didn’t establish that well enough so some people must getting different ideas. I only added the addition of what could be a giant ship, which will define the structures under the riders, to see how this might work. I think it works as people have mentioned, however I feel that I am stepping too far away from the idea that this is suppose to be a civilian revolt. Perhaps my story can change from my original approach and adjust to what is suggested with each update? Only time will decide, what do you think?

Virtuoso: Thanks for the support! :thumbsup:

Thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions. I really want to get started on the line art and worry about the details later. I have one question I want to lay out for everyone.

The structures under the riders originally were suppose to be buildings, and recently people are getting the impression that they are huge ships, (this is why I suggested this possibility by adding an additional ship in the top left corner of the comp). However, I feel that this huge ship idea is changing the original story of a civilian revolt to a invasion of what could be a alien race, or another nation. What I still see as a possibility with this composition is to have the strucutres stay as buidlings, and try to suggest the idea that the riders in the foreground are late for battle and are witnessing the pinical point in the revolt. This is what I would like to aim for, but I am willing to go either way as I feel they are both great opportunities to explore.

So what do you all think about that?


Both of these are fine ideas though i found the civil war one more original.
I like the “too late” concept, but you might want to make the war scene in the background more crowded and the peak more damaged if you go for it. Also, i would completely get rid of the rocket thing or chose another place for it because it doesn’t help understanding what’s going on : the rocket is shot from where the flyers come from, so it suggests it’s one of their rockets. Then i can’t see why it’s the momentum when they lost the battle ?
The buildings are fine by me. They help reading the scene and they’re what hooks the riders in it. Changing them may disconnect the characters from their environment ?
On the workflow side of thing, other posters seem to think that something should be fixed. I think it would be profitable to take a few more days to improve your sketch before going on to the line art. I know the deadline is coming closer, but i fear you would face more troubles later if you rush to the next step immediatly. Just a thought.
Whatever option you take, you have my full support anyway. Rock on ! :buttrock:


montclaris: I think I am going to go with the “too late” concept. Also, I think I figured out a way to tie the victory into the riders… Why not have one or two of them with their arms in the air cheering as they are rushing into a late battle? I think this may work, give or take a few slight adjustments here and there.

What you think?


It makes sense.:slight_smile:
You probably can go on, now… after you have fixed this rocket trail:D


I think I am going to take out the missile trail all together and place the air ships in the distance above the structures dropping bomblets, which are in this case the cause for the explosions. :slight_smile:


So after giving the layout some more work based on everyone’s opinions this is what I came up with. In the final I am thinking of making some of the airships on fire, to show some casualties loss in the revolt.

What does everyone think of the layout? Am I back on track? Any other details you guys/gals can pin point?

Thanks once again for all the comments and support!


Good job ! :applause:
It’s better without the smoke trail and your asteroid-field-like space ships and the nukes do wonders in the background. Just i liked better the position of the riders in the previous comps. Mainly because they weren’t at the same depth and the middle guy was less in the center than how it is now (asymetric positions are more interesting i think).
Overall, a very good move IMO. :bounce:


Composition is rockin’ dude, I think you could proceed with the details and have a really nice peice here when you’re done!:thumbsup:

Explosion looks great.


There is nothing that bugs me in your composition. The taller building at the right makes the job in keeping my attention inside and the shorter one to the right to let me enter in. I’ll wait to see your progress in the application of value before adding commet on that.:slight_smile:


love the sketching style, looking for more action in the distance. Keep up the rockin work…


wow! no crits just some fanboy drool! Love the colors and composition and I really love your character design the style is great!


Hi Airborn,

this will be a great image. You´ve established the important parts of your composition and the rest will develop during detailing process. Great work.



montclaris: I realized that after I submitted the image :slight_smile: I can assure you it will most likely be like the previous update.

newcenturydsn: Thanks! I like the explosion myself, and it is something that will get a fair amount of detail, and hopefuly a degree of physics.

Kraull: Thanks :slight_smile: Let me know what you think as I progress with the line art soon enough.

Cameron Gardner: More action is what I plan on doing. I feel comfident with the time that is left for us to do this challenge. :slight_smile:

zilla: I love the characters themselves, it is too bad though that I am not using most of them, that is why the riders are going to look amazing once I start the lineart. Almost a tribute to the characters I designed that aren’t going to be in the final. :slight_smile:

Fahrija: Thanks! It seems that I pretty much have everything layed out where it should be. Glad you agree. :slight_smile:

Thanks everyone for the support. I hope all your challanges are going well, we have just over a month left so nothing to stress about I hope. With that said, ON TO THE LINE ART at last!


hey AirbORn, i really like your image, the way you have the riders flying towards the perspective really draws viewers in. I was thinking if you toned down the smoke/smog in the distance it would allow viewers to really see and appreciate the city structure. Great depth with the building though! Looking forward to the line-art! peace.


this is going well, right now it is looking really really “heavy” on the bottom and “light” on the top, if that makes sense. maybe extend the architesture up teh sides or include some of teh things from your previous character/ concept sketches


Anime_J: Thanks for the comments :slight_smile: I plan to clarify the background a little more because the concepts were a little rough. But non the less it will be cleaned up!

Hillartsympho: I see what you mean, and believe me it will be a little more unified in terms of weight. :slight_smile:

I am currently working on the line are and it should be up and finished by tonight. There is a high degree of detail I wanted to incorporate into the line art, but whether I do this or not depends on the amount of time and how smoothly everything goes tonight.


My scanner is not hooked up and I need to sleep so I took a quick digi shot of my line art. You probably noticed that I kept the riders and the environment seperate, this just makes it easier for me to get the exact placement when I composite them in Photoshop.

The pages are a little skewed, again sorry for having to photograph it.

The sheets themselves are 14 x 17 inches so they are fairly large, but it is hard to tell in the photo.

Tomorrow night the line art will be complete. Enjoy! ^^



I always use digital photos for my work… it allows me to work in any format and not be limited by scanner size. I figure its just line art anyhow and you can rez it up without worrying too much.

I, like you, will be doing illustration layers… it just makes it easier to bring things in, you can draw in more detail for certail elements etc…

Good stuff!

Looking forward to seeing everything together!