Eon (Trailer) Entry: Wade White


#41

PANEL 13: These next four panels follow the same sequence as before, but I’ve changed the shots. In the book this dialogue exchange comes while he’s escorting her to the lock access corridor, but I decided to have him still seated and Patricia in the background for a couple of reasons. One, I find this shot a lot more dynamic in terms of composition. Two, it establishes visually that she’s talking to the pilot (and not just the flight attendant or some anonymous person, though that’s not a knock against flight attendants
or anonymous people), something which wasn’t necessarily obvious in the rough boards. I’m not sure it’s all that important who she’s talking to, but I rather like the idea of making it clear who this guy is because again it maintains a certain continuity from the previous shots (i.e. we’ve just seen this guy flying the shuttle, and now we see him). Also, it’s entirely possible people wouldn’t have known she was still on the shuttle at this point, but showing the pilot still in his seat makes that more readily apparent.

PANEL 14: Now that the previous panel has established the scene and character placement, I throw to focus to Patricia by bringing the camera closer to her.

PANEL 15: Same for the pilot. I move the camera in for a close-up. I’ve also framed them on opposites sides (i.e. Patricia on the left, the pilot on the right) to make the conversation read correctly on screen.


#42

PANEL 16: Here I bring the camera even closer focusing on the eyes to emphasize her reaction to what the pilot has just said. I changed the wording from the book at this point just slightly. For one, I don’t think a script can be slave to a book anyway, simply because they’re two different mediums with two different sets of demands (although, having said that, I dislike scripts that mess around with story and dialogue for the sole purpose of making it “different”). But the book has, “Don’t you know? You’re here to save their collective hides?” which felt a little too wordy on the one hand for spoken dialogue, and isn’t nearly as ominous sounding as I wanted it to be for the purposes of the trailer. This is perhaps the one place where I’ll fully acknowledge I changed something solely for the purposes of the trailer, because in a script I’m not entirely sure I would have done so. But I wanted some verbal reinforcement–picking up on the text about her being able to unlock the secrets of the Stone–that Patricia is the key to this whole thing.

PANEL 17: The same as with the rough version, this is the point at which the tempo really picks up and changes direction.

PANEL 18: I added a shot here of Lanier and Patricia looking at the book. It puts faces to the dialogue and I was beginning to get concerned that there were too many “floating” lines in the trailer (i.e. lines of dialogue spoken over other images). I also reversed the side of the screen that Patricia is on from the sequence of her and the pilot. I can’t entirely explain why, but somehow it felt like it balanced things out (as opposed to always having her on the left).


#43

PANEL 19: A shot of the title page of the book with the date prominently displayed, and perhaps even a slight zoom in on the printed date. I toyed with the idea of removing this sequence of visuals in the library entirely, being unsure as to whether or not it would read correctly (i.e. the idea of the date of the book conveying all the correct information in the time allotted in the trailer). The irony of having the one sequence in the trailer that didn’t look at all futuristic running against the one bit of dialogue that mentions the future was not lost on me, and so I considered simply going with shots of the chambers and cities and anything that simply looked futuristic. But after giving it some thought I’m satisfied that the dialogue reinforces the pictures well enough, and with the added shot of Lanier and Patricia I’m hoping it works better.

In terms of the overall flow of the trailer, I chose this bit of dialogue because it gives the viewer a taste of what Patricia is going to be dealing with without spilling the whole plot. Mention of the future comes very early in the story and so I don’t feel it’s giving away too much by mentioning that aspect in the trailer. It also ties in with the direction already established of concentrating on Patricia. Although the quote here in the book is really Lanier showing her this, in terms of the flow of the trailer it could be taken as her being the one to discover it (and thus is in keeping with the idea of her unlocking the secrets of the Stone). So on one level it perhaps slightly distorts what actually happens, but I don’t feel it misrepresents the main thrust of the actual story (because it actually is something she discovers, she’s just not the first one is all). I’m conscious of using the various parts of the movie to one end in the trailer without misrepresenting the story itself. This same sort of thing happens in a few more sequences later on as well.

PANEL 20: Same as the rough boards. Although the board doesn’t really convey it, I picture a fairly dynamic angle here that shows both the flaw and the “ceiling” overhead, hopefully with some indication that the city is literally wrapped around the inside of this chamber. Possibly a pan upwards to reveal that.

PANEL 21: Instead of having two static landscape type shots, I replaced the sixth chamber shot that was originally here and in its place put in two shots of Patricia at the flaw, one wider shot to establish the setting and then a close-up showing her face barely perceptible and all distorted in reflection. These shots come right after Lanier’s line about the Stone being from a future. I think the distortion in Patricia’s reflection in some ways stands as a visual metaphor for possible distorted or alternate time-lines (see, now I’m getting all literary-like). In any case, it shows a little bit more action than simply another still of scenery.


#44

PANEL 22: See discussion for Panel 21.

PANEL 23: Identical to the rough boards. I liked this shot from the moment I first conceived of it. The two heavy lifters in the mid and background will already be under way when it flashes on screen, and then the lifter on the extreme left in the foreground comes blasting into the frame at a blur just as the music steps up another notch (the music does this every eight seconds through the second half until just about the end). In terms of the dialogue, it builds on the previous comments by revealing that they possibly have access to information about the future.

PANEL 24: I nearly cut these next two shots, and they may in fact have to go in the final edit. But I think they add to the underlying tone of catastrophe and possible war. And they’re only on screen for fractions of a second really (the timing I’m posting for these and a number of others are estimates, since I haven’t timed out all of the minutiae yet). The dialogue here, chosen from a different scene in the book, again builds on what came previous and further defines just what kind of catastrophe we’re talking about, namely, war.


EDIT – I just realized I uploaded this one under the Scratch Voice Track milestone by mistake. I’ll be submitting the voice track soon enough anyway, but just to keep it legal could one of the admins switch this to Edited Storyboards if possible? Thanks.


#45

PANEL 25: Previously I had simply conceived of a line of soldiers running past, but I like the idea of creating some depth with soldiers in the fore, middle, and background, although in some ways that feels like a bit of a repeat of the heavy lifters just two shots back. Again, this one flashes on screen for only fractions of a second. It may be that I’m trying to squeeze too much in here. If that proves to be the case, I may drop on of these shots of the soldiers, or alternatively re-bump the next sequence back further in the trailer (for details of that see the discussion in Panel 26).

PANEL 26: In the rough boards, I had a shot of Mirsky holding his gun on Vielgorsky and it came later in the line-up than this. I decided to bump it up for now, but due to the overall timing and everything I’m trying to cram in it may not stay here. Anyway, I broke down that one static shot into four more dynamic shots. The first one here shows Vielgorsky on the train, and the three figures approach in the extreme foreground (Mirsky flanked by two soldiers).

PANEL 27: A shot of just the rifle muzzles coming into view. This will flash by pretty quick.


#46

PANEL 28: Close-up here on Vielgorsky to catch his reaction to the rifles being pointed at him with a turn of the head (either that or he’s a two-headed hydra). I think it makes for a much more personal and exciting portrayal of this moment. It also gave me a neat way to shove a few more visuals into the trailer. At this point things are really moving along, and I don’t think up-beat music works with static shots. In my thinking, the two (i.e. music and visuals) should complement one another.

PANEL 29: And a medium shot of Mirsky revealing his identity to finish off the sequence. The dialogue here is Patricia’s question to Lanier outside the library about what’s being done to prevent a war. Now the visuals here don’t line up with that dialogue in terms of the actual story, but these are nevertheless shots of someone obviously taking care of business and in fact going to extreme measures to get the job done. I think that visually expresses the message in Lanier’s words, “All that they can.” Granted, their efforts in the novel are somewhat more diplomatic than this. But again, my own feeling is that as long as the visual aspect complements the dialogue, and as long as it doesn’t distort the overall story (and by that I mean somehow misrepresent what the movie is more or less about), than I’m not bothered too much by the fact that I’ve extracted dialogue from one scene and meshed it together with the visual elements of another.

PANEL 30: Same as the rough boards. It’s one of the longest held frames just to get all the dialogue in. I considered popping in another visual or even just a different angle about halfway through, but for now I’m going to leave it as is. To some extent this reiterates the war theme yet again, but it takes it further in that now we see Patricia is becoming more active in doing something about it. In some ways in the previous snippets she was more or less passive, but now she’s taking an active role and seems primed to do more than just stand around. Hopefully that makes for a more compelling movie (and trailer).


#47

PANEL 31: This is where the shot of Mirsky kidnapping Vielgorsky used to be. Instead, I’m inserting a couple of frames of the subway and Patricia on the platform. There’s no dialogue (although the dialogue from the previous shot is long and may leak over into it a bit), but the impression created (I hope) is that she’s not in fact just going to wait around, but she’s actually going to do something about it (because even though she can’t stop the war, she doesn’t give up hope of finding an alternative to getting back home and thus it remains true to the sentiment of the story, I think). Again, it portrays her as an active character, someone worth watching who makes her own decisions and is capable of taking matters into her own hands.

PANEL 32: Continued from previous. Narrows the focus to Patricia’s look of determination. The actual shot would come from either her attempt to get to the library when the invasion begins, or from her initial introduction to the subway.

PANEL 33: I think I mentioned this before, but this was pretty much the first image that came into my head as a shot that would definitely be included in the trailer, no questions asked. I’m still not sure I’m going to be able to get the angle I want on it, so I’ll probably have to play around a bit more and see what works best. But this conveys the overall feeling of what I’m going for. The dialogue here reveals something of what she intends to attempt. This possible gives away a little too much. It’s the one piece of text that I’ve had any concern about in editing the boards. The concept of alternate universes comes early when they discuss the origins of the Stone, but Patricia’s idea about opening her own gate is considerably later. I’m leaving it in for now because I think it has the flow for the trailer, but I’ll definitely be coming back to it again before the final edit.


#48

PANEL 34: I decided to insert a shot of the Frant here to emphasize visually the idea of an alternate universe as spoken in the dialogue (from the previous shot), though I think I need to come up with something more visually interesting.

PANEL 35: Same as rough storyboards. I like the idea of this shot, but I haven’t decided on the angle yet. It’s fairly low key in terms of action, so a dynamic angle might be nice. I’m hoping that the dialogue and visual combine to portray the idea that Patricia is seeking help in her search.

PANEL 36: Same as rough boards, except that I clipped one second off as it was running a bit on the long side. This is another shot where I decided to make sure I had the visual actually match with the dialogue that’s spoken. I chose this particular bit of dialogue because I think it follows up well on the previous bits about an alternate universe and finding home. Where those suggest she’s headed off to find a solution to her problems, this indicates that perhaps she encounter some trouble and not all is yet well. Just to keep the tension up there.


#49

PANEL 37: From here on out (actually, from a couple of panels back to be quite accurate) I haven’t changed anything really. This one is another shot that came to me fairly early on when I was brainstorming ideas for the trailer. It takes off from what Lanier has just hinted at, i.e. that Patricia might still be in some sort of trouble, and shows her in a situation that looks pretty crazy.

PANEL 38: Narrows the focus directly on Patricia and really magnifies the difficulty she’s having. This is just about at the end, and I want the circumstances to look pretty dire.

PANEL 39: Good old Mirsky. I really like this way of ending it. His dialogue here, while having nothing to do with Patricia in terms of the actual novel, really helps seal the deal. And I’m satisfied that it remains faithful to the overall storyline in tone because they do in fact go looking for Patricia after she disappears. Coming at this point in the trailer, with the build up to her running off on her own and having some apparent difficulties, I think it does a nice job of pulling everything together and suggesting that there’s some real struggle going on in this story, that emotions are running high and that the tension is thick. Not a bad note to end a trailer on, I think.


#50

PANEL 40: The logo I came up with. I’ve been thinking of different ways to animate it, should I ever get that far in the process. Figured I might as well stick it in here now, though, and get some mileage out of it.

PANEL 41: And, of course, no trailer would be complete without the tantalizing suggestion that this action packed flick is nearly in theatres.


#51

Whew, well that was a job and a half getting all those uploaded. :slight_smile:

I wish I’d had a little more time to work on the edited boards (and make them prettier) but I set myself the deadline of finishing them by the end of this month, and that would be today. I could probably spend the whole challenge just trying to make the boards look better, but I really do want to get to at least some of the animation part, so I’m sticking to my deadlines.

I’m happier with some panels then others, naturally. Mirsky looks a little bit like a screaming school girl in that third to last panel. :shrug: On the other hand, though, I redid Panels 13-16 just this morning and they came out much better than I’d originally done. But there’s definitely a heavy cubism influence going on in many of the other panels. Oh well.

Anyway, on to the scratch track and animatic!


#52

Jeez mate I thought I was mad. 41 panels is insane! Even in 2D thats a hell of a lot of work. I don’t know how I managed to miss your thread, must have been on the first page when I’m usually in bed. (which should be now it’s 4:28 am here). Do you plan on editiong some of the panels out or are you going to go for the big finish? Well good luck with it.


#53

Tenacious – well, insanity should never be entirely ruled out. :smiley:

My plan is to finish as much as I can. Since they’re accepting storyboard animatics, I’ll simply start plugging in finished stuff as I get it done and submit it for the final in whatever state it’s in. I threw it all together in a rough animatic this morning, and I can already see that one or two panels may have to go in certain places just to make it work. We’ll see.

But yeah, it’s going to be a ton of work. All part of the fun, right?


#54

ooh ooh can we see the animatic? :bounce:


#55

Yeah, let us see the animatic :applause:


#56

Software: Photoshop

When I first read the book, I had the sense of this real epic sort of film, with full orchestra and huge, scenic shots. I could very much see it alongside flicks such as 2001. Having acknowledged that first impression, however, it will become obvious that I went in a slightly different direction, at least in terms of the music. I just came up with something that I really liked for the score, and so I’m taking the “no guts, no glory” route and going with my instinct.

So here then is the rough cut. I’m sticking it still under the edited storyboards milestone since I haven’t done the scratch track or the SFX quite yet. I can see already that a few adjustments will have to be made in terms of time and perhaps a few shots cut or otherwise rearranged. But it’s still a good idea of my overall vision.

I used the Board-O-Matic plugin in Mirage to actually draw the storyboards. And I actually put the animatic together using Windows Movie Maker (real high tech, eh?). I’m waiting to get my hands on Adobe Premiere. Music was done in ACID.

Play Video >>


EDIT – hmmm. I see that the playback seems kind of choppy. I have the demo version of Adobe Preimiere. Anyone have suggestions for better settings and compression for smooth playback?


#57

Not bad at all, considering this early stadium. Maybe the music mood should become darker to the end? Just a thought…


#58

impressive planing work! wow. cant wait to see ya realizing this all :slight_smile: keep on rockig! best of luck!


#59

Galaktor - Yeah, I agree that moody, darker music would probably give it that more epic feel. There’s still time to tweak things a bit, so I’ll keep it in mind.

TheFirstAngel - Thanks! It’s definitely going to be a challenge. November’s going to be a slower month in terms of production for me, but it’ll be all out once December hits until the end.


#60

Software: Photoshop

So here’s my scratch voice track. The audio is definitely uneven at this point, and several pieces of dialogue are difficult to hear. But it’s better than it was (believe it or not), and I was even able to eliminate some of the background noise/static from the original recordings. For the final recordings I plan on using better equipment and a much quieter room (and different voices for each separate part).

I also think I’ve mostly solved my compression issues. A day with Adobe Premiere and a few tutorials helped a lot. Also in Tomasz Jedruszek’s trailer thread his description of how he put together his animatic (e.g. uncompressed, anticipated size, etc) gave me some ideas to try (thanks Tomasz!). His thread/comments can be found here.

Software used: Mirage for the storyboards, Windows Sound Recorder for the voice overs (better software is on order), Adobe Premiere for the animatic.

The image file posted here (done in Phtotshop) is just a little concept art I worked on this afternoon of the shuttle approach from the first part of the trailer. The concept is based somewhat (mostly general shape) from some photos of an experimental craft the USA is apparently considering for their next generation shuttles.

Once I get some sound effects going, I’ll post the music and SFX milestone (hopefully with some actual animation with it for at least one or two scenes).

Play Video >>