[color=silver]Originally Posted by Claudio;
…I haven’t read the book yet… I’ve just found it on the net a few days ago… and… well… does any one want to give me a hand? Or do I have to spend a month reading it!? :)…
[color=silver]If you have ANY questions regarding the book, please feel free… I have read it a few times by now and especially since I based my “trailer” idea on the first half of it, I have seriously taken down a lot of notes.
As for “idea”'s about the “Inviting” and the voyage back; I think you are doing pretty fine to an efficient level. So these are not really crits[/color]… but “idea”'s as you asked for. Hoping it to inspire you to find some way of composing it all together.
For [color=white]Patricia; in this particular scene I would try to think of ALL the people and places that I love most … and the small details in beautiful things I admire… and then I would try to picture how I would be possibly feeling had I suddenly lost ALL of them in a couple of hours… and literally knew that they were all gone and “no more”.[/color]
You seem to have already rendered misery into [color=white]Patricia’s face… no doubts there. but I thikn such a drama IS what that voyage back is mostly about.[/color]
But since you have a mind of presenting the ghost and the talsit meditation, I guess the grief and glass-eyed’ness of [color=white]Patricia would also blend into curiosity.[/color]
As for the [color=white]Frant;[/color]
Apparently the [color=white]Frant by nature are bond to helping… and it is rooted to their difficult survival against their constant meteor showers.[/color]
So shall there be a problem or difficulty that the [color=white]Frant is not able to help upon, they literally suffer and feel pain. They are seemingly very open to channels of suffering, and have enormous empathy to others.[/color]
In the voyage the I would presume the [color=white]Frant to be in serious pain and confusion on not being able to do anything about Patricia’s suffering.[/color]
I think I could sort of criticize your [color=white]Frant on how he is at the moment… I would picture that he has very friendly eyes, but not cute like yours… a kind that simply pierces through, and has a very sad expression of literally being able to read through you.[/color]
Not to mention that it is prticukarily stated that they have BROWN eyes (OR at least this particular [color=white]Frant does):[/color]
[color=silver]The Frant peered down at her, its large brown eyes unblinking. It held out one hand, spread its four slender fingers and curled them again. “Please,” it said, its voice like a badly tuned calliope. “I cannot help.”
[/color]But well non the less… it is apparent that he is not final… Just hope you have some use to my series of rants above.
Good luck Claudio