This is my -very- first attempt for giving CC´s so I might not be very good at it. I like the scene so I make a try. OK?.
1- The basic idea is that she is “into” herself. The fact that she is the only character in the scene makes for a relationship between her and the viewer(us). So then she is not really alone. I am, as a viewer, there as well. I suggest putting a man sitting on the bench looking the other way (back in the scene) as well as someone pretty close behind her on the right side. Then she would be “alone” by herself and we are not “staring” at her.
2- The background on the second render (“Straight out of cinema)” looks darn good. My points would be: Have -some- sort of light, maybe the sun, shine at a part of the tree in the background from left, casting shadows on the busshouse as well(from something on the other side of the street).
That will bring in depth and a feeling of life away from her, I think. The only material looking strange is the glass of the busshouse and the clean upper part of the wall(no green dirt as it has in the lower part).
3- The “camera” seems very strange. I would suggest using the “Tiltcamera” so there is no fisheye distorsion. I think that would make the background more “calm” and “common” and add natural depth…
The “fisheye” might be the reason why her head looks to big, as well.
4- Put the trash as close as you can to the camera as a foreground object (To be slightly blurred). Put some trash in it.
5- The girl need to have some sort of light comming from the right to “cut her out” in the scene and have her own right side(our left) darkened to make contrast.
Cheers and sorry if I don´t make sense…