Butterfly- CRITIQUE PLEASE!


#3

Are you using proper references for this? The pants area needs a lot of work in terms of having credible fabric wrinkle/folds, and his right leg also seems way too short. The shirt can use some work as well.

Fabric folds/wrinkles have three main properties–stress points (anything that sticks out like elbows, knees, breasts, shoulders), compression points (inner elbow when bent, behind the knees when bent, at the waist when bent, armpit, etc) and loose flabs (folds/wrinkles that stretch from compression to stress points, or drapes on stress points. When you use references, make sure you analyze the three properties and get them right.


#4

Thanks :slight_smile:

I did look for references, but it was hard to find ones that were similar, esp. for the pants. I’ll try to fix the issues with the pants and legs. As for the shirt, I’m not entirely sure what parts of it you are talking about, whether it is the argyle or white part or both (I did have a lot of issues with the sweater vest thingy though).


#5

Here is the updated drawing:


#6

Currently the legs look like there’s no volume inside the pants–as if the legs don’t have adequate thickness. The folds/wrinkles must conform to the girth of the legs.

The shoes are misshapen proportionally and don’t conform to the proper anatomy of human feet. The heel/back is too large while the front/toe area is way too small.

The collar looks too thick behind the neck and does not crease correclty.

There’s no connection between the compression and stress point from inner bend of elbow to the protruding point of the elbow.

His left knee needs to be a stress point, but we don’t see it in that pant leg.

The compression point is at the bend of the waist, but you have the wrinkles/folds below that point instead.

His lower torso is either too long, or his pants are too loose and pulled down.

If you can’t find adequate references, then you must shoot your own references. Use family and friends or even yourself (tripod, camera, mirror), and get exactly the angle, pose, fabric material, lighting, etc right. If you try to fake things on your own, you’re going to make glaring mistakes. Only advanced artists who have extensive experience can fake things convincingly, and even they often need to consult proper references.

Beyond all that technical stuff, you need to also think about the artistic aspect.

What is the point of this image? What are you trying to convey? A narrative? an emotion? A statement? What is the premise? Will this be a complete scene or will the boy float in a flat, gray background?


#7

I tried to fix all of the technical stuff.

In response to what you said about artistic stuff etc. this was really supposed to be more of a practice in terms of technical stuff. I’ve tried to make drawings with detailed backgrounds and complicated compositions etc. before and they have invariably taken ridiculous amounts of time and turned out horribly. As a result, I’ve decided that for now I am going to practice basics and not try to put it all together yet.

Having said that, I’ve been thinking, and I might do something to draw a little more attention the butterfly, to make the drawing seem a little more emotional.

Here is the drawing so far:

EDIT:
My attempt to make the drawing a little more interesting. The shading is really sloppy right now- I just want to know if you think I should work on this version or the original version.


#8

Whichever version you go with, you really do need some indication of a background–at least an immediate background–so he’s not just floating in space.

More interesting lighting is usually better, but it all depends on the overall narrative/mood you want to depict.


#9

Okay, I added a little bit of a background. I also refined some of the shading, although I still need to fix the shoes and shirt.

EDIT: Worked on it a little bit more


#10

taking Robert’s suggestions into consideration …

you must try and invite the viewer .. make them curious about the butterfly .... 
also, show where the kid is sitting,  it adds to the story ... for this, many questions will be pop up ...
> is he sitting at a garden during night time? .. during sunset? ...choosing the time of day is important as well, in fact, assume he's sitting at the garden bench, why is he sitting there all alone ... ? 
> was he on his way home from evening class?, then suddenly, from nowhere, the glowing butterfly caught his attention and led him to the garden
you can add some curious little animals too ... 
also, try and experiment with the camera angle .. use the environment and animals to draw attention to the boy and the butterfly .... 

i did a quick scribble .. hope you'll get something out of it coz it's quite messy :P .. 
but few elements are noticeable though :P

[[img]http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e265/nwiz24/others/th_sktch.jpg[/img]](http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e265/nwiz24/others/?action=view&current=sktch.jpg)


i really hope you work on this, coz reading your comment :
[i]In response to what you said about artistic stuff etc. this was really  supposed to be more of a practice in terms of technical stuff. I've  tried to make drawings with detailed backgrounds and complicated  compositions etc. before and they have invariably taken ridiculous  amounts of time and turned out horribly. As a result, I've decided that  for now I am going to practice basics and not try to put it all together  yet.[/i]

i feel you're restricting yourself to just practice ...
when a concept has so much potential .. work on it .. don't rush .. gather as much references as possible and build the scene slowly ... you'll see for yourself how the story unfolds ..... 
sometimes overly detailed art can be unacceptable too .. if there's no story ... ( to be brutally honest, i'm struggling with that even now ... ) there are artworks that hardly have any details at all .. but they resonate powerful emotion .... through color .. mood ... simplicity ... style .... 

i feel your concept will turn out to be something really magical …

push yourself …


#11

Well here’s the story. I feel like he lives in the middle of a city and doesn’t see very much greenery. One day he is walking home from his job, late at night under a full moon, and he sees this glowing butterfly, which leads him into a mysterious garden in the middle of the city (the garden part wasn’t there until your suggestion)

I really like your idea of putting him in a garden… I’ll work on it ^^

Thanks :slight_smile:


#12

Okay, I tried to add a little scenery. Not everything is shaded in. I’m not sure whether I should expand the canvas or change the composition, so any comments would be appreciated ^^


#13

I like this new one much better…Seems like you have evolved a good bit from the first version. One thing I know sounds silly but is true beyond words is to stay 'loose"…I grew up drawing cartoons and line art ruled my everyday…Then I started letting go of that tendency…( its a tough thing to do if you drew with this sense of ultimate control like I did) and have found a much easier and quicker way to “sculpt” shades and tones to get to where i want to go…I think its important to know that all the fine detailing we achieve with line art is still useful in these paintings…Just ends up being something that we get to use after some massing of shapes and composition happens.

Dont let my suggestions alter how you approach your art…just throwing how I started seeing this whole world of painting as someone who really had no formal training…I drew lines then started slowly realizing I could essentially “sculpt” with colors…and i watch masters that seem to be great at gradually approaching a painting from much more thoughtful angles…Im impressed how much we can think about our artwork rather than simply going from that place where we just like how things look…I think ultimately its about playing with emotions.
Keep it up! :slight_smile:


#14

I’m not entirely sure what you are suggesting- are you suggesting that I get rid of the lines? Because that is something I’ve been wondering about. I usually don’t like to use lines; it takes a long time to make them precise, and it takes forever to color them in. But this time I wanted to experiment with a slightly cartoonish style. The issue with this is that I’m now adding a background. I’m not sure whether I should add lines to the background, keep it the way it is, or get rid of the lines altogether…


#15

Still not totally finished shading yet, but I can’t figure out how to shade in the hedges. I’m not sure whether its an error in my shading, or something wrong with the colors that I chose, but they look really out of place.

Also, I’m not sure whether the lines on the dude look out of place, and whether I should get rid of lines entirely, line the whole painting, or leave as is.


#16

I’m sure there’s still a lot to improve, but unless anyone has any critiques to add I’m gonna call it done.


#17

Good progress!

There are still a few issues, but you can work on them in your next picture if they are repeated.

Perhaps you already have some study resource about drawing clothing, but if not, I find the information in Barbara Bradley’s “Drawing the Clothed Figure” to be presented in a very comprehensible way.
There may be better books out there, but I have only read this one and I liked it. :slight_smile:

You may want to check it out if you are going to keep studying clothes drawing.


#18

Thanks :slight_smile:
I was just going to call this piece done because no one was responding anymore… if you have anything at all to say, even if it’s just nitpicking, feel free; I would really appreciate it.

And as of now, the only drawing book I have is on vehicles XD. I’ll certainly look into that book :slight_smile:


#19

Ok. To me it looks kind of weird to have the trousers tucked into the shoes. Ok if he was wearing boots, but not with sneakers.

Compare the angle of the leg to the angle of the foot on the ground. I guess you could sit like that, but it would probably be more comfortable to have the foot at the same angle as the leg. (and only having the edge of the foot resting on the ground)

You could use a bit of highlight to indicate his knee beneath the pants.

Is he wearing sweatpants together with a shirt and sleeveless sweater? If not, a zipper and pockets would take away that impression.

The pelvis area seems a bit long to me.


#20

Okay I added a little strapish thingy to the pants so they weren’t tucked into the shoes anymore.

I changed, the angle on the shoes, but I might need to change it more.

I tried to fix the knee thingy.

He actually is wearing a sweater vest and shirt.

The crotch of his pants are low, and that is probably what makes his pelvis look too long, but I need to make it more clear that it is just his pants and not everything else (I’ll do that in a bit).

Here’s the updated version:


#21

Thanks, I didn’t know what that kind of clothing was called. :slight_smile:
It looked like he was dressed rather formally on the top and had very informal pants.

Here’s what I meant about the shoe. It’s not something you absolutely have to change, but I think it would make his pose seem more relaxed.

http://sta.sh/021jexeiwd86


#22

I see what you mean… but I am feeling kind of lazy. I’ll try and get it right next time.

Thanks anyway :slight_smile: