An old friend

#1

I´m trying to give a bucolic look when the young guy meet his franciscan friend. Critiques are mostly welcome!

#2

Can you provide some background for the premise of this narrative?

Is it okay to now show the young man’s facial expression? (I don’t know what the narrative is about, so I need to know from you.)

Is the location important to the narrative? Should we see more of it in the image?

#3

Hi Lunatique! Thx for stopping by!
Well, this is a scene of a book I’m illustrating. In this particular scene, the lad comment about how he shows his friendship with gestures and not with words because the monk is deaf. I decided to focus on the monk reaction, and the viewer sharing the lad’s point of view. The location is not so important, It just needs to show a medieval village, not any place in particular.

#4

blocking colors, got a little ahead to the shadows

#5

a little update, decided to go with a small beard to show better his smile. The only thing I would change so far is the old man´s nose (too square?) and fatten a little his right cheek I´m still deciding the color for the guy at the fg.

#6

I still think you need to convey the young man’s body language/expression better, so he seems receptive to the monk’s friendly enthusiasm. It’s always a bad idea to just show the back of a characters’ head without much else to inform the audience of the narrative. Visual storytelling needs all the clues you can give the audience so they can form a cohesive narrative in their mind, without having to guess too much (unless you want them to guess, which is not the intent of this narrative). Also, by zooming in so tight in the composition, there is no sense of premise/location, and the composition is claustrophobic, without room to breathe.

#7

This looks more like a comic book panel more than an illustration. Like Lunatique said it needs more of the story indicated.
Even as a comic panel the guy with his back to us needs more work. I would give him straighter posture, raise his hand into sight.giving him a more open felling to his friend. Tilt the head just slightly to give a sense of movement and catch the tip of the nose and lip maybe.
He just needs more indication of emotion. I find if you can really be clear what emotion a character has you can catch it even from the back. It is not a formula any more than a drawing from the front. Think about the whole posture of the character. Ham it up.

#8

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