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Old 11-13-2007, 06:04 AM   #1
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Drewe Clarke
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Final University Project

I'm not sure if this is the best place for it, as it's a bit of an odd project.
But i'd love some feedback on my final piece for uni. The sound needed more work, but it's not my expertise...

www.tomymindstory.com

I'd love some constructive crit if anyone has time.

Cheers,
 
Old 11-16-2007, 11:31 AM   #2
thoughtcriminal
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David Gidali
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Cool man!

I'd like the atmosphere through the whole piece and the way it's made interactive and comic-style!

The graphics was great, the sound worked very well, it loaded fast and the UI was easy and fun to handle.

Story wise, I felt like I didn't understand it fully... I guess the story line was a bit vague, and the fact that gets uncovered near the end didn't connect to anything in particular and didn't make anything clearer except if you think about it as some sort of deus ex machina that explains why everything is unclear. -In which case I find it very unfulfilling as an awaiting audience.

I also think there was a problem with the main character. Casting wise, he doesn't look like what he's supposed to represent (I don't want to spoil for others). He's not too believable in his acting either.

Finally - the script is very rough, like what you'd expect in a comic book, only in your piece, played by real humens it sounds a bit like the "starwars" scripts - on the nose speaking = the character says exactly what it thinks, and the subtext is shouting "I'm here! listen to me!"

I just have to quote a line from "Attack of the clones":
The elevator stoppes with Anacin and obi wan trapped inside, they are looking around them in anxiety...
-Obi wan: "The elevator stopped! Did you press the stop button?"
-Anacin: "No, did you?"
-Obi wan: "No!"

Well, as I said I really liked it, the way it's done and the atmosphere.
Good job!
 
Old 11-16-2007, 11:31 AM   #3
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