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Old 12-16-2002, 01:29 AM   #1
imamog
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Justin Bartholomew
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Animation Critique x2

Hi everyone. I have been checking out this forum for quite some time now and I know there are some good critical eyes out there. Please check out my website and critique "Fry Cook" and "Dancing Dipuc." One of my goals over the holidays is to tighten these up as much as possible. Here's the link:

http://www.community3d.com/justinb/


Thanks,

Justin Bartholomew
 
Old 12-16-2002, 04:21 AM   #2
Stephen Vyas
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Steve
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G'day
Welcome to the forums ....
For the fry cook, it looks good overall but it looks like the begining needs a bit of work. As he walks towards the camera, his head and body move as if they aren't offset at all. They hit different momentums at the same key, which makes him look a bit stiff and lifeless. Other than that I found myself watching it a couple of times.

And the only thing that caught my eye right away for the dancer was his tail seems to have no bend or overlapping action. Try adding some snap to that tail when he hits some poses, that in it's self would strength the piece quite a bit...

Hope this helps...

Cheers
Steve
 
Old 12-16-2002, 04:41 AM   #3
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Patrik Puhala
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the Dancing Dipuc is great! i agree that the tail needs to be loosened up with more secondary motion. but the movements of the rest of the clip are really good. i also agree with Stephen Vyas
that the chef needs to have its movements offest too, but also with his hand gestures. great work!
 
Old 12-16-2002, 06:53 PM   #4
imamog
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Justin Bartholomew
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Stephen Vyas:

Thanks for the critique. It helps a lot. Sometimes it's hard for me to see problems like these after I've watched an animation 100+ times.

Tubby:

Thanks for the kind words. I'll check on those hand gestures.


Justin Bartholomew
 
Old 12-16-2002, 07:23 PM   #5
Rogue
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Looks good.

Some crits on the Fry Cook. I thought his eye brows moved too much with the lip sync. I'd reduce the number of changes the brows make. Also, make one brow higher than the other to break symmetry. Lastly, I'd have him change his focus a bit during the last part. He stares at the viewer for an extended time. I know that is his point of focus, but it'll add some realism and some thought process if you have him look away for a moment, then remake eye contact. Most people don't make constant eye contact and when they do, it feels strange...

As for Dancing Dicup, it's very cool. Aside form the aforementioned tale comments, the only thing I might add is that he show a little more anticipation before he flips. That's about all I can add.
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Old 12-31-2002, 08:23 PM   #6
imamog
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Justin Bartholomew
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2nd Pass

I was finally able to get down and dirty with these animations (Dancing Dipuc and Fry Cook) and have posted new versions of both of them:

http://www.community3d.com/justinb/

Rogue -- I agree with you about the eyebrows in the "Fry Cook" animation and am still fixing them. Right now I'm trying to decide which words I want to emphasize most, and eventually moving the brows most heavily to those words. Thanks for the heads-up.

"Dancing Dipuc" has been updated, as well. I added a lot more motion in the tail, and I think it looks a lot better. My next task is to get the wings to look better. I think they look too stiff right now and need to look more cartillagenous and weight-burdened.

I will post another version of both of these later on in the week.

Thanks again to all who have made comments!

Justin Bartholomew
 
Old 01-14-2006, 01:00 AM   #7
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