10Second Club My first strike

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  12 December 2005
10Second Club My first strike

Hello all it's my first animation for 10S.C.
i would want a your judgment and if it appeals to also a ballot to you

I know is an error unfortunately which had to the haste in rendering

the animation is not perfect is not content but I have had time little in order to realize it

well I want your opinions


My video:
Entry #37

in order to see it to greater definition

Last edited by AlexV : 12 December 2005 at 02:20 PM.
  12 December 2005
Hi Alex,

You seem to have too much going on here. I mean the actions and the story all seem to distract from each other. The lasers on the floor should either be static or moving very slowly because they distract the eye too much from your characters motions. To be honest I would not have made the characters wearing black suits, its kinda difficult to see whats going on or where they are in the scene. The main thing i thought that didnt work was the whole `my luggage` thing written on the note... its like youre trying to cram in too much story into a short time, you should really be concentrating on getting the animation really tight... i always think that these animations that have the little extra bit after the audio has finished seem a bit strange - it always feels `bolted on` just to try and complete some kind of story... also because the first character has to act a certain way to show its his luggage combination, he moves too much and distracts from the second character when its him we should be concentrating on at that point in the dialogue.

I like the idea you made for the setting, and your characters are pretty funny looking. I thought it was a nice idea how the door drops down when the wrong combination is typed in... but you dont give the characters enough time to react to it, they dont seem to make it clear to the audience that they have noticed they're now trapped in there..

i like the way the first guy looks at the guy in the right after he has said the combination.. the timing feels right and you can see how he is expecting a response form him,
  12 December 2005
Tnx I have appreciated your critics and the observations

I love yours avatar the Goonies is my preferred film
  12 December 2005
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