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Old 10-06-2005, 08:31 PM   #1
Julez4001
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Animation Critique:DIALTONE

http://www.flarenova.com/DialToneApril2_Huge.movh


I really, really appreicate some serious critique on the animation of this character.


Thanks in advance
Julian

PS

I also hope more people submit their work, it just seems that the forum has become a tech support/request instead of software specific renders and animation.
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Last edited by Julez4001 : 10-06-2005 at 08:36 PM.
 
Old 10-06-2005, 09:41 PM   #2
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Hmm.

It looks like a lot of work went into it. Thats for sure.

The little phone dancing dudes in the background kind of look like they are going to fall over. And the guy playing the piano looks like he is punching the keys instead of playing them. The animation at this point looks kind of roughed in.

Its a fun idea though.
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Old 10-06-2005, 09:54 PM   #3
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umm the girl main character .. thats what I need to get some critique on.


The other guys are just place holders to capture the mood.
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Last edited by Julez4001 : 10-06-2005 at 09:57 PM.
 
Old 10-06-2005, 09:58 PM   #4
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Definately a first-pass rough-in. My suggestions:

Exaggerate the lip-sync on the girl, maybe add squash-and-stretch to the head
Losen up the background dancers
Tone down the colors, at least at this stage until you're happy with the animation and are ready to render.

Otherwise it's an impressive undertaking!
 
Old 10-06-2005, 11:42 PM   #5
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Looking good, but it's hard to see some of the nicer animation you've done because a bit too subtle. I would try to make her key poses clearer and more obvious. (except for the head banging at the start!)

Much of the movement of the left arm is being lost because most of the getsures are taking place in front of her body, so we lose the silhouette.

I think the hand on the microphone stand needs to be kept in one place, repositioning the hand on the stand is usually very deliberate, and not so...um, suggestive. ;-)

Hope this helps!?
 
Old 10-07-2005, 02:18 PM   #6
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Hi Julez!

Take away all temporary animation on the background characters, now it just look strange and un proffesional. You can really enhance this animation by stronger poses and better stageing.
If you don't know about stageing and thinking of poses in siluettes, then now is the time to read all about it! I really recommend you to buy "The animators survival kit" or "The illusion of light".
Here is some tips from me:


Don't hide her face!






Hope it helped!
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Old 10-07-2005, 02:56 PM   #7
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the limbs of all characters are a bit stiff too. Kind of robotic if you get my drift. Try offsetting the movements of the limbs from the rest of the body. sometimes the body follows the limbs and sometimes the limbs follow the body. also her right arm is extended and elbow locked the entire time, thats a bit unnatural and gives it a stiff feeling.


also it needs some secondary animation, like the dress for example.
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Last edited by stooch : 10-07-2005 at 02:58 PM.
 
Old 10-07-2005, 03:52 PM   #8
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Here are the things that stood out to me:
  1. The hand sliding up and down the mic stand should be eliminated. The singer's arm stays unbent the entire time which is pretty unnatural.
  2. The singer's eyes are as wide open as saucers almost the entire time. The eyelids should open and close and her brow should change shape along with her singing to convey emotion. Her last, close-eyed expression is really excellent and her face should be just as expressive during the rest of her singing as well.
  3. The singer's movement is pretty stiff right now. It would be nice to see a bit more sway in her spine and hips as she moves to the music. Plus, the little side-to-side her head does at the end is great, but it looks unnatural at the moment because the rest of her body is completely still. At least her shoulders should move a little bit.
Looking good and I can't wait to see what you come up with after all of our suggestions.
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Old 10-07-2005, 04:36 PM   #9
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Thanks Guys....
Defintiely the feedback I needed.

( svintaj great picture breakdown. a pictur eis truly a 1000 words.)


I had people (professional animators) telling the animation was a little off but would't explain more than their bad impression of it.


The feedback you guys just gave is a real inspiration boost to get back in and fix those problem areas. Yes I have both books and I am going back over those sections/chapters.
I definitely need to have them prop open for personal review.


Just like with the situp animation, I am having a heck of the problem with IK arms.
I can't seem to get the hand to lock down when I pull the body away without some unattentional reaction.
Do anyone use 'moveto" cocnstraints in their Arm IK. The arm going up and down are almost automatic. I am going to have to hand animate the mike to counter balance her to it.


THANKS AGAIN and "Feel Free" to poor more into guys.....
I also implore any other messiah animators to post your animations. this is what this group is about.
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Last edited by Julez4001 : 10-07-2005 at 04:41 PM.
 
Old 10-07-2005, 04:42 PM   #10
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i use moveto to snap the arm effectors to control nulls. i also use align to control the rotation but sometimes turn that off. If i were to animate the scene, i would parent the control null to the mike.

OR you can use IK to aim the mike at the hand. whatever is more natural for you.
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Old 10-07-2005, 04:50 PM   #11
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Is the lipsync off. I was thinking that her morphs were trailing the audio and was going to move them 2 frames earlier. What do you guys think?


Stooch, yeah I got the Ik handle parented to a placement null that is constrain to the mike.

I think that it may be pushing the microphone ........
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Old 10-07-2005, 06:07 PM   #12
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Leave the lipsync for now, and just focus on the overall animation.

/ Svante
 
Old 10-10-2005, 02:59 AM   #13
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Okay. Update.

I dropped the saturation of the background to seperate her.

Note: Working on another Microphone rig, when I started to bend her right arm, the mike starts to fly away so disregard that.


What I did is add in two more poses with bending forward and also she has a strong pull on "when they turn off your phone". I just tried to give a lttle bit mor energy through out. Working her shoulders a little at the end. I want your thoughts on the energy factor, if it works for you or not let em know and I'll continue in that direction.


http://www.flarenova.com/DialTone_05_Huge.mov
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Old 10-10-2005, 03:59 PM   #14
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There are some definite improvements to this update. I really like the step forward she takes as she begins to sing, it's very effective. Most of the new facial expressions and arm movements work as well. Here are the things I notice:
  • In the beginning when she is moving with the beat her timing gets off (speed up) right before she steps forward and starts singing.
  • The swing she makes during the "and they turn off your phone" line isn't quite right. It's hard to tell exactly what she's trying to do...like it's an ambiguous movement. Does that make sense?
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Old 10-10-2005, 06:53 PM   #15
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i really like the head movement when she starts mmmming at the end, although i could see more oscillations to sync up better with each mmm. the mike arm needs som bendage and rock that ass side to side a bit too.
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