|06 June 2005||#1|
Join Date: Sep 2004
critiques for demo reel game world builder
I'd appreciate all the feedback i can get for my reel. I'd like to apply for the position of world builder in a game studio.
Please (right-click/save target-as) (11mb)
-note some of the text in the reel didn't show up so well after i compressed it down, but the version I'd like to send out after I get some feedback, the text shows up fine.
|06 June 2005||#2|
Redwood City, USA
Join Date: Jun 2004
First of I want to see the second level because I dig some of the architecture in it. So if you can put a link that would great.
As a whole the cam speed is toooo hurried up.
What I would suggest is to slow down the cam. Have the cam follow objects interest. Do wide side panning scenes that are slow showing depth to the level. Making sure the cam goes behind some stuff. Like on that pillar area. I would try to stick the attention to the middle and gradually glance at other areas. You have loads of pillars that you can make one whole wide shot of the whole middle area with the pillars that move right in front of camera when panning. The second level should go first IMO. It was much more interesting overall. In a reel you want to catch the attention quickly.
I am not really fond of the curtains. I think it looks a bit cheesy. If you want to keep them at least make them more of a design you would do instead of traditional ones you see everywhere.
Sound is a huge factor here, if you do not have sound at least have some music. I prefer music that has no lyrics as well.
I am not too sure on the texture scrolling thing. Looks nice etc but you have tons of them and this is like over whelming information. Honestly level textures are pretty dull to see anyhow. I would put examples on a website. A reel is mostly to get the attention.
Also the dancing and funny moments really kill the mood and since those models are not yours so it kind of seems weird putting them in. I am pretty sure this might take the attention off from people in the industry.
Also not sure if you constructed your reel using matinee in UnrealED. I would recommend doing that. You can lower the cam speed and do some nice tricks also. To trigger it you just got to connect the scene manger event to a trigger you touch and go on it while recording.
I think the levels look interesting just that the presentation could be a lot nicer. I think the presentation is not = to your work you have in the reel. Set a mood with cam movement. Perhaps on the tech level you want more action but on the other whiteish level you want slower cam movements. Set the mood.
The model placement scenes are pretty cool I would keep that. It really shows how much modeles go into making a level and that is a huge plus!
|06 June 2005||#3|
Lord of the postsportfolio
Join Date: May 2004
your levels look very nice ingame!
the REEL was a bit long on some parts of the maps, and a bit to fast/short on the other parts. By that i mean the textures were way to fast, and there was to much going on the background, bringing down the focus of what really matters, the textures. I would make the interface a lot simpeler (lose the rotating parts/slides). And add a nice ambuant sound or song to the reel would also be cool, something that fits the design. And the text is to long on some parts and also confusing.
It's also 3am, i could just be tired and to slow myself and all my crits are idiotique. =)
|06 June 2005||#4|
Join Date: Aug 2004
i actually love the curtain idea and i do agree a design of ur own would be even better.
also make a smoother transition between the curtain and ur turn arounds. as for the maps themselves they are well built some of the camera work looks rushed and i would have loved to see either more levels or more of the levels from a fps player view. you know really imerse the viewer into the environment.
visit my game art comp thread:
|06 June 2005||#5|
As an accomplished UT player (tournaments and such, I'll spare you), I'll go ahead and comment on art and gameplay thoughts.
I really like the look and feel of both of the levels, I don't immeadiately identify anything that looks wrong, most of the lighting feels good, but darker than I'd like in the first level. The actual art you're using looks really good, and I'd definitely commend you on that, along with your design and placement of all of the assets inside the levels.
Your cameras could use a lot of work, but listen to what the first poster said and you'll be able to show it off much better. You put a lot of time into making it, make sure we get to see everything you made and put time into. This is especially true for the texturing part. That either needs to be slowed down and showing your really good textures, or removed altogether. It doesn't show me anything, I can't locate any details on any of the individual textures, and I can't associate which textures are going where. Just showing the level gives me a good view of the textures, anyways. I'd personally scrap that part, and slow down your camera / show more of the levels. I'd much rather see more of the levels than a rapidfire texture viewing session.
Also, the introduction time is pretty long. It's hard to discern a lot of details from your Maya segments, I would recommend taking out the animated dropping of pieces, and just show an overview of the level. Either that or make more pieces fall in unison, to artificially speed it up, without having to drop the pieces at the speed of light to do so.
On the other hand, I don't feel that I would want to actually PLAY the levels. The first seems very small, and restricted to one open area. Even for a 1v1 it seems rather small, and not well thought-out for gameplay. It has a lot of room for improvment, and looks like you could add some interesting Z-axis improvements rather easily, I'd definitely suggest that.
The second level looks much more on the track of being a "level". I can envision the middle area being used for a great powerup, and trying to control that area. The fact that the outside area is raised makes for a good way to help control an area, and adds some depth, as well. Again, I'd suggest trying to add some kind of 2nd level to it, even if it was minimal. A jumppad in the middle to launch you to the 2nd level would make sense, with several dropdown points from the second level to the first.
So what I'd like you to take off of this, is that while I feel your actual art is looking great, you're making levels for a game, and they need to be well thought out, with good flow, and most importantly, FUN TO PLAY! More Z-Axis possibilites. Take a look at any number of levels, and notice how many ways there are to go up or down, and how they have multiple levels to keep it interesting. Someone could be right above or below you, and you may never even know. It's important for gameplay reasons, as well as just keeping the level interesting, without just being a lot of walls/floors/ceilings. Try adding more ways of moving about instead of just "A room". Take a look at some maps like Asbestos and Ironic, and figure out why pro level players enjoy those maps so much. They have good "flow" and lots of unique areas, not just "boxes connected to one another" or "one big box".
Oh, and lose the curtains
Other than that, really nice work, I'd love to check them out in-game sometime. Hope I helped.
|06 June 2005||#7|
Join Date: Sep 2003
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