I need your guidance.

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  1 Week Ago
I need your guidance.

A good day to you all. My salutations to enthusiasts, students and professionals. Thank you all for taking your time to read this.

I writing all this to you because I need guidance. Certainly you are not the first ones I have shared this, but I believe you will be in better place to weight everything better as to the currept point I am confused and skeptical.

I am currently 25 years old, turning 26 in July. You can say I am not that old, but not that young either. During my 18th year of age, I was registered in a small 3d arts college (the correct term for it is "private InstituteofVocational Training"). I graduated after two years of courses. I have to note that no internship followed. I went to serve my time in the army, and when I was dismissed, I wandered all around, aggresively offering my cv in every possible employer, so I could make use of my skills and grow them further on.

Our country, and therefore our industry however was (up to then - and up to now) not that advanced. As a youngster I could not care less as I was passionate and to be honest, I thought working posts would be around regularly for me and my classmates to be occupied. My teachers said, I was the best of my class, and compared me to another student a couple of years ago who was said to be "really great", and could not think of another one, besides us two on our level.

Up to that point of my life, I was happy with myself. I was content with what I was doing, and I felt that I had future in front of me. But more, I felt I was doing exactly what I loved, and loved every minute of it. I was certain this was why I did get good at it eventually as well. And I did not care, even if I did not get paid for what I did, as I just wanted all this to be a part of my life. Of course, I wanted this to be both my work and my hobby if possible.

However regardless of how much I have tried, I could only manage some freelancing short lasting cooperation with a few ambitious institutions. The longest oneI have ever had was 2 months long. While I was occupied under those terms, the financial crisis presented itself, (as I live in europe), typically drying out everything for me, and other 3d artists as long as I am aware, in the market.

I think it was around 2 years that I was unemployed. I was doing my personal works, trying to improve myself, but soon being unemployed started to sadden me. So did the need to get some money of my own presented itself. It was at that point that I have lost my faith in the 3d arts. I remembered back to what my teachers used to say: "You are one of the very best e.t.c." and I was trying to ignore the financial parts of this, and continue on being loyal to my learning proccess as I still had much to learn. Needless to say, I gained nothing for it.

To combo with this, no one around me never really understood what my occupation really was. Not even my family did. I have tried to explain to them quite many times. Actually, when they heard that what I did, could one day result to game development, they started stating " Ah, so you are playing games". As I was unemployed, those people around me promted me with every chance, to give up my current proffetion and start dealing with what they felt it to be for the best. To stop "playing games anymore".

I was lost for quite some time. Eventually I managed to find myself work as a graphic designer. I think for half a year I thought that I had found the solution for me. I thought that all this concerning 3d cg graphics were an error of a passionate youngster, and not one of a grown up realist. However, after those 6 months have passed,(and I have started to solve my financial problems) I subconsciously have started to seek out connections with the 3d technologies, and my past as well. I have realised I am not as happy as I was, nor I felt what I was doing, excited me as much, or felt to have the same promising future as 3d arts did. I realised those first 6 months only made me feel better because finally my efforts payed off.

I currently work as a freelancer at everything I can, and followed the advice of my family to go for a free graphic design degree I was eligible for. However, every day I wake up, and when I finally relax, I am puzzled by all this. That I am sad by where my life is going. I thought if I tried to erase all connections with my past, would work out, but it does not. Every day that passes, I find myself not as happy, glad, and content as I was back then.

I contacted my teacher, who adviced me to leave the country and restudy the 3d arts, as I have stopped practising it for many years after I was guided to give it up, no one supported me, and I have grown rusty. However this is a great desicion and a life changing one. It is not something I am not willing to do however.

If someone could give me a piece of advice about this, I would be in debt to. What would you do? Have you encountered this? Are 3d arts a frequent job out there where you are all living? If I go abroad to restudy, I will be finishing my courses at the age of 30. While I do not feel daunted, as I do not do this for competition, regardless of the level I might reach, I know youngsters abroad even start dealing with max ad maya in the age of 15. Would that put me out of shape to chase of my dreams?

Thank you everyone for offering the time to read this.

(My greatest of apologies to the moderators and admins, if this post was not posted in the right thread.)
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