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Old 02-25-2013, 06:24 PM   #1
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Michael Tolan
3D Environment Artist
Pflugerville, USA
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 7
First post, First critique request


I recently started modelling again, and this time im ready to push it into something more, hopefully find a job somewhere, dunno.

Before I can do that though, I need to know where I am in terms of my art, be brutally honest. I made this as a start to my new 2013 portfolio, and it is the only one I have thus far.

Old 02-26-2013, 09:59 PM   #2
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Zeno Pelgrims
National centre of Computer animation
Bournemouth, United Kingdom
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
I like the modelling and texturing, but dislike the composition/framing of your shot as well as the lighting.. If you are trying to make the golden woman the eye-catcher, you should make the lighting more dramatic. There are too many points of interest right now. You should have an eyecatcher, and all the other stuff has only one purpose: to guide your eye look back at that one object. I think there are so many other, better angles to frame your scene. It will make your image a lot more interesting without even making a big effort
Old 03-24-2013, 09:20 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 26
Good start

Nice work. Id say your shadows are a bit dark, even though there is no light down there you still must simulate bounce light. Stick your hand under a desk with only above lighting, you can still see it. Why? Because light is bouncing off all the surrounding surfaces, floor, wall, etc. Also, is the focus the whole workshop or the desk?
Old 03-24-2013, 09:35 PM   #4
New Member
Michael Tolan
3D Environment Artist
Pflugerville, USA
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 7
Strange, I though this post didnt even make it. I couldn't find it after it posted. Sucks that I did not get to reply to the first.

Thanks for the input, as for the answer to your question, the whole workshop was sorta on focus, though the doll on the table was ment to be the focal point.

Anyway, thanks again for the input from the first post, and the recent one. I will keep them in mind =)
Old 03-24-2013, 09:55 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 26

Can't wait to see the next iteration of this.
Old 03-25-2013, 11:38 AM   #6
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Daniel McGrath
Dublin, Ireland
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,850
This piece is badly in need of a strong key light with a volumetric effect(to enhance to old mustiness of the space) The lighting is too even and makes for a flat, boring viewing experience. The colour pallette you've chosen doesn't do much for me either. To be brutally honest(as you asked for!!) it makes me want to look away. The dark reds, yellows and browns are far from complimentary.

Modeling-wise you have a lot of low-res geometry with visible segmentation. (Game art perhaps...?)
The picture on the wall is completely two dimensional and look like it was painted on the wall, rather than being a painting on the wall. Maybe you add some more grime to the texturing, in particular the metal surfaces. The pipe up near the ceiling would certainly have a thick layer of dirt/grime.

In the bottom right-hand corner there is some strange harsh shadowing across the cog. Also, what is that weird blurry patch in the same corner?

and most importantly...keep at it!
Old 03-25-2013, 11:38 AM   #7
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