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Old 07-05-2013, 07:44 AM   #1
sweetjeannie
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Sorcha in the Rain - WiP

OK so here is another scene from a book my friend and I are writing and I've been working on the black/white version before I add color.



OK so just looking for feedback on lighting/composition... etc. etc.

I know the background needs to be detailed and cleaned up some so I will get on that and there is one spot on the back of her dress that's too light.

So --- It's raining. Fires all around are steaming and being squelched by the rain. Sorcha just lost someone dear to her. She's mourning. ---



So any suggestions? I'm not so excited about her hair. I wonder if I'm not seeing it right... Anyone know of good tutorials or tips with painting wet hair? :O
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Old 07-09-2013, 11:32 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjeannie
OK so here is another scene from a book my friend and I are writing and I've been working on the black/white version before I add color.



OK so just looking for feedback on lighting/composition... etc. etc.

I know the background needs to be detailed and cleaned up some so I will get on that and there is one spot on the back of her dress that's too light.

So --- It's raining. Fires all around are steaming and being squelched by the rain. Sorcha just lost someone dear to her. She's mourning. ---



So any suggestions? I'm not so excited about her hair. I wonder if I'm not seeing it right... Anyone know of good tutorials or tips with painting wet hair? :O


Okay, so that's the lighting - but the drawing doesn't reflect any of that. Where is the light source that's lighting the bottom of her nose, and her brow? Her clothing has no real indications of light sources, the overall piece is flat, without much tonal values.

Why are we so close to her? Is there something important we need to see in detail? I'd pull back and show her whole figure, and have more background items to indicate the lighting. It feels somewhat claustrophobic as is. Her pose is appropriate, I'd show more of it, how hunched over and pulled into herself that she is.

Wet hair is easy - it's dark, overall, reflects light like water/liquid, and clings tight to the skull/neck, and will be stringy and in clumps where it's hanging or not on the head - and she'd have streaks of water and drops of water on her face and neck. And, to be honest, I'm not trying to be rude, but if her hair is wet, where are the visual cues that her clothes are wet?

It's a good foundation to start with, you just need to push it more, and I really would push you to pull back and show her whole figure, and more of the background.
 
Old 07-11-2013, 11:30 AM   #3
danimation2001
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I don't know if you want to keep this scene as a morning foggy type scene. But if the time frame isn't important. Here's some lighting modifications that I'd add to the scene.

Have the bg area be a bit darker while the character's rim can be lighter. being lit by the dying flames around her.

Also have some rain indication hitting her and bouncing off of her as it does so.

I hope this lighting critique helps.

-Dan
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File Type: jpg SorchaintheRain10.jpg (58.1 KB, 13 views)
 
Old 07-13-2013, 05:09 AM   #4
sweetjeannie
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Thanks guys! I will take all of your advice into account and rework this a little.

Thanks for the paint over Dan. That is great! I was really debating whether to do a daylight or evening scene.

I do think I'll pull her out a bit more and add a bit more background as Billy mentioned. I think you are definitely right on it being to crowded as is.

So far this is really just a foundation. I was trying to figure out light sources more... Night scene and lighting... and then of course color palette. I think right now I'm slightly intimidated by lighting and color.... lol

I want there to be enough light to really see her, and some details on her dress, and I want the burned down houses and stuff to show up through the background, but I the only way to realistically do it that I can figure out is to do daylight or lots of fire at night.

I'll keep playing with this thanks guys!
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Old 07-13-2013, 05:09 AM   #5
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